Once upon a time in deep space, the Second in Command of the Aurora was being interrogated.
‘We know you did it, Mal, we just want to know why.’
Mal sneers. ‘I’m afraid you’re going to have to be more specific. Why what?’
The Security Officer goes for his baton, but resists drawing it. He leans in and fixes his suspect with an unblinking glare whilst taking great care to enunciate every single syllable of his next sentence.
‘Why did you poison Captain Andersen?’
The baton slams on the table.
‘You’ve no right to be cocky! You’re a doomed man.’
‘Oh, come on, once the Aurora docks at the medical port, you’ll bring her out of stasis, detoxify her, and she’ll be fine. It’ll be as if nothing happened.’
‘But something did happen and you’re responsible. We have footage.’
‘We don’t need that for an arrest.’
‘Sure, but it irks you not to have one, right?’
The officer’s eye twitches. Mal grins.
‘I thought so as much.’
Each man considers their next move until a tinkling jingle breaks the silence. The Security Officer glances at his communicator. He laughs. Mal frowns.
‘Oh, nothing. It’s just a notification telling me it’s Captain Andersen’s birthday.’
‘Say, were you planning on going to her drinks do?’
‘I guess I would have if I wasn’t on duty?’
‘So you weren’t invited?’
This seems to rankle. Mal takes his time to answer.
‘And there we have our motive.’
‘You were spurned by the superior you’ve loyally served for years. You thought you’d earnt that invite. So, reasoning if you couldn’t be at the party, no one should, you planted the needle in her chair. She sits, suddenly falls ill, has to be put under until we can get her examined. She sleeps through her birthday.’
‘Right… So my motive was to mildly inconvenience her? She’ll have other birthdays.’
‘But not another 40th.’
‘Well, she might if we drive through a wormhole.’
The Security Officer shakes his head. ‘Oh, Mal, always so flippant when threatened.’
‘How would you know that, you’re never on deck when – hang on a second.’
‘Well played, Hannah.’
The Security Officer laughs, touches a button on his communicator, and shimmers away. In his place stands Captain Hannah Andersen.
‘I doubt any of our crew set reminders for your birthday.’
‘Fair. So, want to hear how I did this?’
‘Not really. I only heard about your accident second-hand because I intentionally was nowhere near the scene when it was due to occur. It would have been very easy for you to have the team convince me I’d succeeded.
‘So easy. They were instantly up for fooling you.’
‘I’ll try not to take that personally. So, I failed to ruin your big day?’
‘Yeah. If anything, you improved it by falling for this.’
‘Indeed. Well, if you’re quite done toying with your staff, I believe I’m due on duty.
‘Nope, you’re coming to the party.’
‘After I attempted to poison you?’
‘You’ll be there as a bartender.’
Mal expels a single ‘ha!’ ‘Very well. Thank you, Captain.’
‘You’re very welcome.’
And they all lived happily ever after.
