Daenerys’s relationship with her appearance is very interesting. I never get the implication that she is comfortable in impractical, luxurious clothing. I think that is largely due to her upbringing, she is suspicious of these signs of wealth knowing that they often come with a price, and probably lived wearing much more practical clothing. She prefers her Dothraki garb over fine silks and tokars. When she wears fine clothes, it is to honour others.
When her beautiful silver hair is burned off, she doesn’t care a jot. Women’s hair is treated with importance throughout the series, its care and maintenance a symbol of luxury, and the colour of their breeding and lineage. It shows their femininity and noble birth, and we see with characters like Cersei and Catelyn and Sansa that their hair is an important part of their celebrated beauty.
Dany’s beauty just doesn’t matter to her. In a world where a woman’s beauty and desirability is everything, it is nothing to Dany.
Now I am wondering how much of this is because of her dragons. When she starts moving in noble circles where her appearance would be under scrutiny, she has dragons and the prestige they bring. Beauty matters very little in addition to that. It’s a useful extra tool that she wields, but it is of no priority.
Now I look at how the dragons have been used thus far, it they have been used largely to disrupt the status quo. Their first big moment was in striking a devastating blow to slavery.
Then we look at how King Egg wanted to hatch dragons again in order to be able to implement laws in favour of the smallfolk, to the dissatisfaction of the nobles. Dragons are dangerous, they can destroy, but they can also destroy oppressive regimes. They tip power balances that for a long, long time have been utterly in favour of the slavers and nobility.
Their potential is terrible, and yet also great.
I think Dany’s lack of care for her own desirability is an aspect of that. Even before that, we see how much more liberated the Targaryen women with dragons were compared to the Targaryen women who came later and lacked dragons. Dragons means that the opinions of wealthy and noble men, are no longer the be all and end all.