seen from Uzbekistan
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how is it the weekend again? how is it almost June? what am I doing with my life? am i overdue for an existential crisis? did i have to google how to spell existential after struggling to spell it for over 2 minutes?
so much on the mind
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I’m thinking a lot about my own relationship to work, and something occurred to me on the latest OFMD rewatch.
Everyone talks about Izzy being in love with Ed/Blackbeard and being sexually repressed, but I don’t see AS much being said around his obsession with his job and how toxic THAT is.
Like, of course it’s more than a little tied up in his sexuality and his obsession with Ed/BB, but...idk, he also is WAY over-identifying with his job in a way I can super relate to. “It’s my job to keep Edward happy” IS IT THOUGH MY DUDE? I’m pretty sure your job is to manage the crew, keep an eye on day-to-day operations, and be able to take over command if something happens to the captain. He does a whole lot no one ever asked him to do. Speaking from experience, that kind of toxic relationship with work and need to go above and beyond comes from a deep-seated need for approval, and I really don’t think it’s all to do with his sexual repression (although of course it’s inextricably tied up with that and toxic masculinity).
“The only retirement we get is...death”. This just doesn’t seem true. If even Blackbeard, Most Famous Pirate Ever, considers it totally feasible to fuck off to China and start a new life, surely someone equally capable but less notorious could?
Maybe there’s some backstory reason we don’t know about that causes him to feel this way, but I really think it’s mostly a deep need to be needed and an inability to conceive of himself as worthy for anything other than his capabilities.
Recent work for StudioPractiseStudio x Adidas x Parley, who are launching a new sneaker that is made of plastic that has been dredged from the ocean - so good!
can’t even read a book nowadays without coming across a mention of Ted Lasso 🙄😂😂
I love OT3 fic so much. Colin and Jan roasting the ever loving shit out Richard is something that can be so personal.
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HELLO GOOD MORNING
IT IS ALLY AND AJ CONCERT DAY
i so rarely get crushes because i am an aro queen but wow does waiting for a text back always feel like this? what the fucking hell. i understand crime now.
