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i hate what i am, i wish i could know what it is like to be a normal person.
MDNI BLOG
I want to disappear but somehow the thought of being forgotten hurts.
I have reconnected with a friend from childhood, turns out she was just diagnosed with BPD. We are reconnecting but also talking about childhood, middle school years where I was a terrible friend, the highschool years where we didn't talk and we hated each other. It's hard, really really hard.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I'll say this again;
I want nothing else in this life than to be with you and love you, to listen and watch you,
How you stuff your mouth with food and talk, the little silly faces you make when you're eating or dancing, they genuinely make me blush and I can't look you straight in your eyes.
Your voice... your beautiful voice, when you talk, when you sing, I just want to hear you again and again, your voice does things to my heart...
I want to share things with you and have endless talks with you, I want to explore your magnificent mind(it amazes me)to explore your beautiful melancholic body, I want to help you, serve you and poke you on your forehead when I think you're wrong. I LOVE YOU, with a depth a deep sense of passion I've felt for no one else in this life, your existence is everything I've ever wanted and I never thought that even if I was in love, I could get so bessoted, obsessed with someone so much that a minute away from them feels like a thousand years, like my heart is being pierced with thousands of needles, we have this one life and I just want to do this life with you. I love YOU.
every time i get a notification i get a tiny hope maybe it’ll be them.
I’m perfectly aware it never will be but I’m always disappointed when its not them
I have friends, boyfriend but somehow I still want to disappear. I got everything I wanted for years but nothing has changed.