#bossassbitch

First and foremost, … Yes. I’m back from the dead! What, I’m only… a year too late? But nonetheless, I’ve decided to rekindle my passion for helping people in hope that you guys will kindly have me back. :) 

Now, let’s crack on!

So... the dilemma of the day: should you get that nose job or not?

Honestly, this is such a difficult question to answer. The answer isn’t a straightforward no, nor is it a straightforward yes. Hence why I’m sure you’ve been left in this predicament of uncertainty and confusion. However, I’m hoping that the advice I offer you today, which will predominantly be based on experience, will steer you closer to finalising your decision.

Just like you, I have gone my whole life being told things I do not believe to be true. “It’s not that bad”. “It’s hardly noticeable, what are you talking about?”. “You’re beautiful, why would you want to change anything about yourself?”.

Context: I have a port-wine stain birthmark on my left cheek. In simpler terms: a useless, red blob on my cheek. To be fair, when I was younger, I had several laser surgeries performed on it, reducing it to red veins – its current form now. However, although it has significantly reduced in size and noticeability, it is something that still burdens me till this day. I am incapable of leaving the house without the protection of make-up, and if I’m in a predicament where I have no choice but to go without it, I am left feeling insecure and certain that absolutely EVERYone is staring at me. Make-up has become a chore, as opposed to a creative, enjoyable outlet people tend to use it for. This insecurity has left me struggling to open up to even those close to me. The only people I feel absolutely comfortable around in my “natural form” are my best friend, few members of my family and my boyfriend. 

However, it took me quite some time to let my guard down around my boyfriend. It even reached a point where it was putting a strain on our relationship. There was a period where I refused to answer facetime calls without my birthmark being concealed. This meant his romantic sentiment of calling me first thing in the morning was ruined by my insecurity. What made it worse is that he didn’t even know the reason why because I was too embarrassed to admit that the birthmark even existed. I knew that this would then expose that I’d been wearing make-up this whole time – even when he stayed over at my house for several days. Also, I was genuinely concerned that it would change his opinion of me, and I’d become less attractive to him. I know now that this was completely ridiculous to think and also unfair of me to undermine his loving, accepting and pure nature. He accepts me no matter what, not phased, but rather in awe of my flaws, which is one of the many reasons why I love him.

So, the first part of my advice is: I completely get it. I relate to your desire to undergo some changes in order to be free of an insecurity that burdens you. I also can relate to everyone else around you not understanding the severe impact of something they perceive to be so minor, can actually have. So honestly, if still now you feel like your sense of wellbeing will be enhanced by undergoing this cosmetic procedure, then I would encourage you to do it. When you are completely set on doing something, factors such as cost serve as no deterrent. For a very long time now, I have been contemplating on whether or not to undergo a final session of laser surgery in order to completely remove the birthmark. It was meant to happen last year, but Covid-19 messed up my plans. At the time, I was so frustrated and upset because I was so ready to be rid of it and start life renewed. However, I have to say, now I’m at a stage where I feel grateful that I haven’t yet gone through with the surgery. And here’s why…

I have found some self-acceptance. This has been my biggest key to inner peace. For the first time in literally forever, my mind is not preoccupied with my birthmark and how burdensome my life is because of it. I am able to interact with other humans with no make-up on. This may sound so futile, but for those who know me, this progress is IMMENSE. I have to say, my boyfriend has played a big part in this. He gave me the space to fully open up and feel loved for who I am. He reminds me of how beautiful I am, and how my birthmark actually enhances my beauty. He tells me that God make me this way, different from everyone else, special. Now this is by no means me saying that you need a man to remind you of your self-worth and to find inner peace. Hell no. But I have to give credit where credit is due. He only opened the door a tad – the rest was up to me. I grew to look in the mirror and not just be repulsed by the sight of my birthmark – fantasising about what I would look like without it. In a way, I now kind of see it as a masterpiece. And sometimes I even think to myself – would I miss it if it were gone? Would I even be me?

Now don’t get me wrong – I am still contemplating on whether or not to get the laser surgery. But now, it’s not an urgent need. I am surviving and living comfortably without it. Time to love myself and gain a new perspective was all I needed.

So, what I would say to you is… do what YOU want do. No one else is able to tell you how to feel or how to live your life. Only you know what is best for you and what will truly make you happy. If you decide to go through with the procedure – good. If you don’t and realise you are able to live comfortably without it – just as good.

You are a boss ass bitch either way.

Ezért van minden pillanatban, amikor nem mondom,hogy szeretlek. Így hívják azt a pszichológiai jelenséget mikor egy szó/kifejezés folyamatos ismételgetés hatására elveszti jelentését.

És én nem akarom elkoptatni.

Dr Bonnie Henry has been a symbol of strength an unity for British Columbia amid the COVID-19 crisis. Without her tireless efforts to communicate scientific fact to the general public, BC would certainly not be in the place it currently holds. On a daily basis, she addresses BC, stemming the rising tide of panic, ignorance and misinformation to keep us calm and collected as a whole.