#boonjavi

Javi: I have a crush on someone. And we talk a lot. They're really funny and cute and awesome and- Boone: It's Kate! Javi: - and it's you. Wait, what? Kate's fucking married. What the fuck? Boone: Well, it's a crush. It doesn't have to go anywhere. Javi: It's you, idiot. Boone: Oh.

Javi: Hey, babe, are these brownies special? Boone, smiling: Yeah, bud, they are. *Later* Javi: Hey, I couldn't feel anything. How much weed did you put in those brownies? Boone: Boone: I said they were special because I made them with love!

Tyler: You ready? Boone: Hang on! I need to water the plants! Javi: You have plants? Since when? Boone: Since we put up the Christmas tree? Javi: Oh, okay. Boone: Tyler: Javi: WAIT, NO! DON'T WATER THE CHRISTMAS TREE, YOU DUMBASS!

Kate: This is my husband, Tyler. He's kind and talented and wonderful and amazing. Tyler: This is my wife, Kate. She’s sweet and adorable and gentle and brilliant. Javi: This is my boyfriend, Boone. He's not allowed in public by himself anymore.

Javi: Hey, I'm going out. Boone: Where? Javi: Either to get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide in the car. Boone: Okay. Be home by 9. Tyler: Tyler: Why do you encourage this? Boone: Because, unlike Kate, I actually know he's going to get ice cream.

Boone: We're going mattress shopping. Javi: You know, once we get it, we'll have to break it in. winks Boone: Oh, I hear what you're saying. Mattress trampoline. Javi: Boone: Wait, no. You were talking about sex.

Kate: Sometimes, I feel like dying. Tyler: Wh- Kate: But then I remember if I die, I won't be able to see you again. Tyler: *blushes* Holy shit... --- Boone: Sometimes I feel like dying. Javi: Good for you.