#bones headcanons

kg’s notes - i wanted to bring something a little sweet for the holidays. this is what i think the Bones characters would do at a party, a holiday party in particular. i also want to make it perfectly clear that i am in s5, so no spoilers! anyhoo, please enjoy! ;)

Zachary Addy -

gives everyone a pair of socks as a stocking stuffer

gets really shy and oddly touchy when drunk

cried when the movie marathon ended

Temperance Brennan -

brought board games (monopoly) to the party

who helped Cam and Sweets with the cooking

was definitely the most drunk by the end of the night

Jared Booth -

who brought himself, beer, and nothing else

snuck in the kitchen to snack on the food before anyone else

nearly broke a plate and his ass somehow

Seeley Booth -

brought the Christmas music and candy

who managed to keep his brother sober for the night

who made sure everyone was accounted for and okay

and was the most sober by the end of the night

Colin Fisher -

the one who nearly kissed both Bones and Booth on the lips

admitted that he uses a forum to write fanfiction for Bones’

had to explain what fanfiction was to both Jared and Cam

Jack Hodgins -

the one who drew on Fisher and Sweets’ faces

who did a mock proposal to Angela (which she said yes to)

one of them that stayed to clean up the place afterward

Angela Montenegro -

drunkenly talked about how she would kiss everyone

her first kiss of the night was Bones who gave her one back

also drunkenly talked about how she sits in the shower for an extra twenty minutes if the water feels nice

she ate the most of the pies she brought/made herself

Camille Saroyan -

asked who was singing Christmas songs as she didn’t recognize who it was

she was the first one to start handing gifts out

was the one who did most of the cooking portion

Lance Sweets -

who signed his and Daisy’s cards with glittery pens - he loves them a lot, primarily the blue ones!

gave everyone a draft of a chapter from his book that mentions them (Zach was the most emotional)

and drunkenly admits that he still believes in Santa

Daisy Wick -

she made a scrapbooks of what everyone did at the institute that year (Seeley was disturbed by it; Bones loved it and hoped she continued them)

who took pictures of everyone in the party so she could include them in a memory book

❛ jared and seeley booth headcanons ❜

jared learned quickly how to use chopsticks

jared had seeley tie his shoes all throughout elementary school

jared learned how to tie a tie by watching hank & seeley tie theirs

jared would steal some of seeley's halloween candy and blamed it on one of his friends

jared was always the more outgoing brother and ended up having a lot of friends in high school versus seeley who only had about two close friends

jared joined the navy as a 'fuck you' to his father

jared sings in the shower/seeley sings in the bath

jared is an avid podcast rather than music listener

jared is blocked by one vice president of the United States

seeley is naturally left-handed, but taught himself after breaking his wrist to be right-handed

seeley actually has incredible memory, but only acts like he doesn't so he could hear brennan explain things

seeley knows how to cook, but is too lazy to work up a meal, so he orders takeout instead

seeley had started collecting belt buckles, because of hank

seeley has crashed his car a couple of times, but will never admit it

seeley has eaten a worm and straight coffee beans as a dare when serving in the army, and he received $15 for it

seeley has an awful spice tolerance/jared has a fantastic one -- he had slipped some chili peppers in seeley's food once or twice

seeley often asks permission when doing something that is not relating a case, she waits till his puppy eyes come out

seeley had nearly set a building on fire

Vincent Nigel-Murray (Bones) !

Mod 🐺 headcanons Vincent as aroace and gay !!

OMG YES OF COURSE YOU CAN

Brennen

She’s against pets in general but if she had to pick one she’d choose a monkey

But after researching it and realizing she doesn’t have the adequate amount of time to care for one she lets booth get a dog

Has to be one that’s known for its intelligence tho

Booth

A dog man through and through

Specifically a high energy breed he can take for runs

Also likes to play fetch with it

Teaches it tricks

Constantly gets lectures from Brennen every time he says they have the smartest dog

Wants to let it lay in the bed but Brennen says no

He sneaks the dog up after she goes to sleep sometimes

Wendell

I bet you’re thinking dog huh?

Yeah you’re right

He has a American pitbull terrier he adores

Buys her sweaters for the winter

Takes her out to those dog friendly restaurants to play with Booth’s dog while they hang out

Cam

Cat lady 100%

Either a Siamese or a hairless cat

Spoils it with toys and treats, but makes sure it stays at a healthy weight

When no one is around she speaks to it in a baby voice

Arastoo

A cat he found at his local shelter

He doesn’t know what kind of cat it is

Has to take allergy pills because he developed an allergy after he already was attached

Sweets

A hermit crab he keeps in his office

Gets an artist friend to paint new shells based on sci fi movies he likes

Before he picked a name he was calling it buddy, which just kinda stuck

Angela

Likes many animals, but not keeping them

Only got one after Michael-Vincent kept begging

Ended up getting a hedge hog

It curls up in her lap while she paints or draws

Hodgins

Has the hedgehog with Angela obviously

He lets sit on his shoulder when relaxing

Built it a fucking MASSIVE enclosure in their house

This lil thing has so much to play with it’s insane

After a year or two of owning the hedgehog, he convinces Angela to get a tortoise

Who he also spoils

Zack

He bought a beta fish one day bc he thought a pet would make him less lonely but he was scared of all the other species at the pet store

He named it Archimedes

Originally just had it in a glass bowl

Bought it a proper tank after Hodgins explained how bad that is

Hodgins also went with him to pick out things it could hide in

Daisy

Honestly I’m not really sure

Maybe a hamster when she was young

But never got another pet after it died bc she was so sad

Loves Lance’s little hermit crab though

Says hi to it every time she stops by his office

Fisher

An iguana

He brought him into work once and cam made him put it in Hodgins’ bug room

Takes it for walks

It wears a black spiked collar with its leash

Vincent

He has two ferrets and and a set of Guinea pigs

Talks to them for hours telling them all the facts that pop into his head

Carries the ferrets around his body (neck, shoulders, arms, etc)

Brennen- gender queer, pansexual ambiamoirus. Sees no reason why gender should make a difference in her choosing of a partner, and if she can’t find one person to satisfy all her needs, then it only makes sense to have multiple. Has really bad introspection, probably couldn’t describe her gender if she tried. just does what makes her happy. She struggles with this sometimes, in her want to categorize and understand everything, it can be hard not being able to with something seen as such a big thing

Booth- straight ally. A little confused but he’s got the point. Like he supports queer people but is shit at pronouns and definitely refers to lesbian couples as the husband lesbian and the girl lesbian

Angela- trans woman, canonically unlabeled, could be accurately described as bisexual. Doesn’t see why gender should be a barrier for her loving someone. She always preferred “girls” things as a kid but it wasn’t really a thing because her dad fully supports her in whatever will make her happy. I don’t think she really ever needed to come out, sort of just naturally transitioned without being questioned. Also literally has a canonical deadname

Hodgins- hetero-flexible, afab demi-boy. Primarily attracted to women, never really pictured himself spending his life with a man, but is occasionally attracted to a guy. Gender is a combo of man and frog loving enby. Has also known he was trans sense he was very young but only came out after moving out because his parents were very bigoted.

Cam- cis woman, kind of ambiguous attraction wise. Knows she is attracted to women but hasn’t really bothered to break it down to specifics.

Zack- gay, agender. It took him a while to realize he was gay, because his family is religious it was never really presented as an option. Once he figured it out in his early twenties, he had a difficult time coming out. His family ended up being mostly ok with it, and he hasn’t been bullied for it since high school, but worries a lot about how people will respond, people already find him odd and tend to ostracize him, why give them another reason to. When he comes out at the Jefferson though was the first time he felt truly supported and was a big factor in him being integrated to the family dynamics of the place. Gender wise he’s similar to Brennen, but it’s not so much he doesn’t know as it is he doesn’t care.

Sweets- bisexual, trans man. Was terrified to come out as trans as a teen, partially because of his past abuse, and partly because of his parents being older, but they fully supported him. He can get insecure about it though, not feeling like a “real man”. Didn’t realize he was bi until his mid twenties, had a whole fwb situation with fisher for a while as a way of experimenting

Aubrey- bi demiboy, knew he was bi sense he was a young teen, but didn’t come out until he dated a guy in high school and his parents caught on, part of the reason his relationship with his dad is so tense, he is deeply homophobic. His mom doesn’t like to talk about it. Only realized he was a demiboy after becoming friends with a trans person in collage, triggering a lot of research and self doubt. After his negative experience coming out in the past he doesn’t tell most people about his gender, only those he is very close to. A bit more open with his sexuality, but still isn’t likely to mention it.

hope you like to suffer (: most of these are post-season three so they're gonna hurt.