#bones grumbles

If Maximus was a ghoul the fanbase would be completely obsessed with him.

I feel like the show missed an opportunity to do this—but I also recognize that if they did, people would say it was too similar to FO4’s plot with paladin Danse in terms of a BOS member being inevitably kicked out of the BOS for not being human enough.

Personally I would have liked to see an actual depiction of the transformational period of someone going ghoul, and a plot of Max using all his gained knowledge from his time in the brotherhood and his desire to make things better—while also combating the in-universe discrimination that ghouls face.

Not because I want to see him suffer, but because I think it would be important for the viewer. To more deeply hammer in “the techno-fascists are the bad guys, actually” in a way that gives Max a stronger character arc and more personal growth, outside of what the show offers us which smacks of “I have to leave the BOS because a cute girl was nice to me and gave me a kiss”.

(Yes, I know the scene with the ghoul kids was also a big part of things, but I do get tired of the narrative that men only change for the better when a woman they like is involved)

I’d like to see an arc with Max that illustrates not just the phenomenon of young men being radicalized by militaristic cults, but also Max realizing his own strength to make change on his own, without the help of some powerful group.

Max nearly died in a “lone man standing” scenario, and just happened to get lucky that the NCR (another powerful group) showed up at the right time.

I also have feelings about the fact that someone tried to rally the civilians hiding in the building to join in the fight and help Max—and they still refused, despite another pointing out “you know if that thing wins we’re all going to die, right?”

It’s the wasteland. Most if not all of those people were probably armed, and could have coordinated together to shoot at the deathclaw from safer vantage points. That could have been an important plot point about “the common people” being able to protect themselves from threats, instead of waiting around for a “hero” to do it…but alas.

On the shipping side of things, vaultghoulknight and ghoulknight would be much more popular. (Then the arguments would likely revolve around which female lead you want to ship with the two main men…)

They just experience it differently than most other species are used to. Think about it—they have BREEDING CYCLES, rather than engaging in sex as a social/bonding activity. (Or as a conflict/stress management strategy, as humans do)

That means chances are they might only be in the mood like once a year or so. (I read somewhere that the females lay their eggs once a year) They are egg-laying amphibians. They use spawning pools. (Or some modern equivalent) They have cloacas. They probably literally do an extended hug in the water and then business is done.

Does that mean they feel nothing? Biologically-doubtful. Organic life is wired to seek mating opportunities so it can propagate itself. Does it mean some of them may find it unnecessary or avoid it? Sure. Asexuals exist—however I take some issue with the fannish implications that the ENTIRE species is disinterested in sex.

(I say this as an asexual—I’m asexual)

Sexuality for them might be more cerebral, it might be about social status, it might be purely based on pheromone exposure—but that doesn’t mean they lack sexuality.

Are they still ace rep? Yes. Absolutely. But by HUMAN STANDARDS. A promiscuous salarian might be unusual, but I don’t see it as outside the realm of possibility. They are naturally curious, highly intelligent, and social.

You can’t convince me that there isn’t a contingent of salarians that have the mating habits and social conventions of other species as their special interest, and/or their field of study.

There are (a potentially surprising) number of asexuals who still derive pleasure and satisfaction from getting other people off. Who become deeply interested in things that do not come naturally to them. Who are kinky as all get out.

1.) I am already irrationally-annoyed by all the people saying “rEaLlY NiNtEnDo? ANOTHER OOT remake?” We have never had an OOT remake. This is the first OOT remake. The bundled collection for GameCube was a PORT. The 3DS version was a REMASTER, not a remake. They kept the same models and gave us better textures and made a couple of QOL tweaks. That’s it.

2.) Everyone crying about the graphics when all we’ve actually seen is like 3 seconds of baby Link sleeping and we can’t even see much of his face—omg please calm down y’all. Super-realistic graphics for the sake of super-realistic graphics CAN be bad, but it doesn’t HAVE to be bad.

The most important metric to me is “is the game enjoyable?”. I do tend to prefer pixel art and 2D and cel-shading myself! But hyper-realism shouldn’t be made synonymous with “dudebros will eat this up cuz it’s shiny so therefore the game must be bad”. That’s a very similar mentality to said dudebros going “ugh this game doesn’t have hyper-realistic graphics therefore it sucks”

3.) People saying “why remake something that’s already perfect?” GO PLAY THE ORIGINAL THEN, YOU DON’T HAVE TO PLAY THE REMAKE

4.) People worrying that the game will be “woke”, kindly shut the fuck up and see point #3 above.

5.) People worrying that the game will be EXTRA bigoted and a new fan-favorite of the fascist Link-enjoyers club—your concerns are valid and I also worry about this given what TOTK did with Dorf.

6.) If they shoehorn Hylia and Demise into this I will scream. I hated skyward sword. BOTW was a delight but I was annoyed at how prevalent Hylia was in it. TOTK had a chance to do something really cool with the series pantheon mythos and they squandered it for a generic shonen-jump style plot. It’s possible that somehow people in this universe forgot about the triple goddesses over time but man, please don’t gloss over them in the remake. I’ll be devastated.

7.) Nintendo please don’t censor the spooky/horror elements of this game. They are one of the main reasons it sticks out so much to me from literally all of the others. (TP carried a similar vibe, but the scope of the game felt much smaller)

8.) I personally would be more than ok with some little hints as to the nature of who Link actually is in OOT and how he got into the forest in the first place—as per a lot of fan theories from back in the day. Is he Zelda’s brother? Was it somehow known ahead of time that he was the chosen hero and therefore he was put in a “safe place”? Is there some merit to my personal headcanon that he is somehow tied to Farore?

9.) I love Epona but I also wouldn’t be opposed to the “tame multiple horses” mechanic in BOTW showing up again.

10.) MAKE ALL THE AREAS BIGGER. Or at least, the Gerudo desert, please.

For context, I’ve never been big on Christmas, but I’ve always loved Halloween. Growing up the only ‘acceptable’ movie I could watch around Christmas that I didn’t find nauseating—

(this is not me hating on people who love Xmas, btw, I had a death in the family ages ago and the holiday has always grated on me since for this reason)

—was Nightmare Before Christmas.

Then in highschool the HP films started coming out, and every year you could find witchy things all throughout Halloween-Christmas. Fandom had special events and secret Santas. There were a whole bunch of recipes for HP-themed foods and beverages.

For awhile winter was a lot less depressing, knowing that at holiday gatherings I could just tune out all the bullshit and sit around the TV watching an HP movie. I could be vaguely spooky even during Christ Month and most people wouldn’t bat an eye, because the films give us a toad choir and gift giving and snowy scenes.

I’m thinking of this right now because after being incredibly depressed this Halloween, I went looking through the after-holiday sales at the store. My roommate decided to accompany me because we both needed some other things.

My roommate is a huge HP fan and kind of a fake ally. Naturally, we found some serpentine merch that had her (slytherin ass) all excited, and I just kind of had to heave a big internal sigh as we rang everything up at the checkout.

Like yeah, it would be so nice, especially right now, to be able to just enjoy some cute holiday things without thinking too much into it. But I can’t. I’m mad that I can’t.

Every year I’m going to have to listen to someone gasp excitedly about new HP merch, and walk through a living room filled with it, and be mad about it, until I manage to somehow scrape my way out of poverty enough to get my own place. And even then, it’ll haunt me in the holiday section of every major retailer.