#bodyslam

Putting your life into someone’s hands when you can’t even hold it together Asking to be loved when you don’t know if it’s forever You were wronged, you were ruined, but you never remember right? You’re acting weak, waiting to see if someone has some mercy to show Even you’re too tired to let go, you should know when to let go Stop expecting things that are unlikely, stop hoping when they’re all false hopes It has to hurt, it has to ache, because what you want is the thing that hurts It has to end, you have to realize which kind of expectations can really hurt

Twenty years ago today, my old website featured a September 2005 article from Maxim magazine in which John Cena explained a basic wrestling move. The article was called "Grope-A-Dope: How To Do A Body Slam." I always enjoy seeing pro wrestling in mainstream media -- but I found this article to be remarkably open and gay affirming from a source that usually mocked or disparaged homosexuality.

Maxim was a monthly frat-dude lifestyle mag that usually featured misogynistic sex jokes, sports articles, and unflagging hetero-normativity.

So it was interesting to find a homo-erotic tone in their Body Slam Tutorial. I mean, check out their caption under the above photo: "I hope you like the taste of zipper!" I swear I did not insert that caption. Apparently they are quoting Cena, who seems hyper aware that the other dude's mouth is right near his bulge.

Today I want to re-visit that old article and its provocative, queer-suggestive text. Let's skip Step 1 ("Size Matters", a sly double-entendre) and jump right to Step 2 of the four-step process: "Fight Dirty":

Note the nicknames for male genitalia (and hyper-awareness of same), such as the specificity of where to place your hand after "reaching between his legs". Does the heading "Fight Dirty" refer to the violent masculine tactics before lifting him up, or all the gay grabbing and groping that occurs after?

Is it just me, or is this beginning to sound like a sex manual: grip his butt, squat, heave upward...)