#body stuff

I mean I have a lot of weird lumps in my body but the ones on my breasts are concerning. Doctor didn’t take me too seriously last time I brought it up because I was taking estradiol at the time(even though I specified I had the lumps before) so I’m hoping they’ll listen to me this time.

Idk I’ve lived most of my live in pain so it’s hard to recognize when other things show up until it’s so painful I notice. That’s how my UTI got so bad before(which btw still no answer to why I’m having bladder pain lol…). I mean my shoulders are so tense and full of knots that I can barely be touched. I have to take muscle relaxers to sleep and have my shoulders rubbed to feel mild relief(any tips on this? I’m at my wits end).

I know it’s not necessary to present androgynously to be nonbinary - there’s literally no single way to be nonbinary - but, absolutely honestly, androgyny is a thing I’ve been wanting my entire life. I kept presenting much more traditionally femme for literally decades because I was small curvy and round in the face and just assumed I’d never remotely manage it because I wasn’t the tall slender elven waif I always dreamed of being. I just assumed I’d look terrible if I tried to present as androgynous.

Then I got sick, and found out more and more about gender, and about *my* gender, and thought “fuck it”.

And it turned out short hair looked much better on me than I ever guessed.

And it turns out there’s more ways to present androgynously than being built like Tilda Swindon.

And it turned out that a *fuck* of a lot of the nearly-eating-disorder that has plagued me since I was about 12 was actually dysphoria, and changing my presentation did a *surprising* amount to fix it.

But hearing from other people in the wild that I’m genuinely managing this, that it’s not just something that *I *see in myself - that’s still pretty special to me.

I know airplane seats are criminally small for most people, but I have to lean over to keep my arms inside my window-seat space without spilling over in to the seat next to me. My hips are narrow enough, but just barely.

It doesn't help that my cardio strength is poor, so I've been huffing and puffing and sweating through the airport today.

And I'm the biggest I've ever been! And I have to meet a bunch of standard-size coworkers for the first time and they're going to see how fat I am. Including my boss, who is very in to Fitness and Diet and Gut Health.

why has he not done so yet you ask? he doesnt have one either :)

funny Batfamily organ headcanons I haven't thought about until now:

Tim is missing a spleen but did you know that they can spontaneously re-grow, and in tiny little spleens even? (thanks to @jhscdood for this tidbit)

long term exposure to Ivy's pollen/pheromones, Joker venom, Gotham ick, etc has made their livers and kidneys more adept at filtering out known toxins/poisons

Bruce's resting heart rate is likely crazy low. like 30-40 BPM, maybe even into the high 20's

lung capacity and cardiovascular fitness across the Batfamily is insane thanks to all the running/patrolling they do

they all have TBIs. all of them. so many tiny little brain injuries adding up over the years.

Like GPs will say to you that it gives you a lighter, less painful period but as I understand it from reading up on this (a while ago, to be clear) that's not really what's happening; you might get some bleeding and even light cramps but this is not a period and what's really weird is that my body seems to know this!