#blushoseoks

It was the shrill ring of your alarm that woke you up. You groaned in annoyance at the incessant noise, completely confused as to why it was going off in the first place. It was summer right? With your eyes still sealed tightly shut, you tried to reach forward so you could begin blindly searching for the whereabouts of your phone, but your movements were halted by something grappling to your waist.

“What the hell?” You said in a scratchy and sleep-deprived whisper.

You opened your eyes, rubbing at them to try and get rid of the puffiness so you could see what was going on, but when you looked down to see what the constraint against your waist was, you froze.

Hands.

Hands so big, with fingers so long, that they could only belong to one person; Taehyung. They were clasped around your body, and after a couple seconds of wild bewilderment running through your mind, you finally remembered why.

You had sex with your fuckboy of a best friend that you just so happened to really like — great.

A continuous mantra of idiot, idiot, idiot, ran through your head as you reached for your still ringing phone on the nightstand. You dismissed the alarm, but not before you read the memo that you had at some point set last night to go off at seven a.m. — well at least you made one smart decision last night.

The memo read ‘get home’, and you quickly remembered how you weren’t supposed to be here in the first place, and that your parents were going kill you if you didn’t get home in time… But that somehow wasn’t what was weighing most heavily on your mind.

You could feel the press of Taehyung’s forehead against the center of your back, and you wished more than anything that the two of you could just stay like this. You tried to remain still, fearing that any tiny movement would wake him, but you decided after about a minute or so that you just wanted to look at him before you shattered this small dream that you and Taehyung had created — or at least you had.

Your heart hammered inside of your chest as you slowly turned over in his arms. He buried his face into your chest at the change in position, and you hate the slight twinge that it made flutter through your heart. Dammit, how can someone be so cute when all they’re doing is sleeping?

You hesitantly lowered yourself down the bed until the two of you were finally face to face. His mouth was parted slightly, and it pushes the tiniest of smiles to your lips. His hair was messy, and you can’t help yourself from reaching out and caressing the darkly-colored strands.

“Why’d you let me do it, jerk?” You whispered into his chin, regret seeping from your voice.

But then you reminded yourself that it was probably because he didn’t know how you felt, since you’ve never actually told him, idiot. And that was of course one possibility, but there were also several others. Maybe he did actually know how you felt, and decided to go along with it just for his own selfish agenda. That was definitely another route this entire situation could take, but you can’t help but think that Taehyung wouldn’t do something like that. After all, he was already holding himself back for the sake of your friendship together, so it’s hard to believe that he would still go through with sleeping with you if he knew your true feelings for him.

But regardless you didn’t blame Taehyung for any of this. You were the one who insinuated that you wanted to come up here with him last night, you were the one who agreed to follow him up those stairs, and you were the one that gave into your feelings. You knew exactly what you were doing… and now here you were, dealing with the consequences.

You wondered how he was going to act once you woke him up. Was he going to be the same old Taehyung, or maybe for once he wouldn’t know how to handle the situation either. And in all honesty, even though it was the more difficult road, you would rather have the latter, because the idea of having him act as if nothing had changed between the two of you at all, that would most definitely hurt worse.

You took in a shallow and ragged breath, the anxiety of what was about to happen almost paralyzing. Please, please, please feel something… anything, you thought inside of your head as you placed your hand on his bare shoulder. Your nails curled into his skin as you tried to work up the courage to wake him up, but it was like you just couldn’t bring yourself to move. Maybe you would just give it a few more minutes so you could try and calm your nerves —  or at least that’s what you would’ve liked to do if not for the second wave of shrill rings that suddenly started to flow from your phone.

“Fucking snooze.” You cursed yourself for pressing the wrong button before quickly turning back to the nightstand to silence the alarm.

Great, now you were even more on edge than before.

Once the room returned to its previously quiet state, you let out a frustrated sigh — but then you suddenly felt something.

Every bone and breath in your entire body instantly halted when you felt the untangling of Taehyung’s arms from around your waist, and the groan-mixed yawn that signaled he was no longer asleep.

“Shit, shit, shit,” You whispered to yourself in a complete panic as you turned to face him. He was rubbing his face, and he still hadn’t opened his eyes yet. Should you say something before he looked at you, or maybe you should just —

“Y/N”

Crap.

Your eyes cautiously slithered upwards until they locked with his. His expression seemed calm, the complete opposite of your frazzled state, and that worried you.

“Hey…” You whispered back, and you could feel the hesitation in your voice, so there was no doubt that Taehyung would pick up on it.

“What’s wrong?” He quickly asked as expected, bringing one hand down onto the side of your hip, making you stiffen.

“N-nothing, I just…” You stuttered, “I-I need to get home before my parents find out I left, remember?”

That wasn’t what was wrong at all, but what else were you going to say? I like you a lot, and even though we’re really good friends, and I know you don’t date, I want to be with you? … Well in all honesty that was probably exactly what you should say, just to get everything out on the table, but you just weren’t ready for that yet.

“Oh shit, you’re right.” He said quickly, jumping up from his position on the bed to immediately start pulling his clothes back on.

You slid out of the bed as well, pulling the length of Taehyung’s shirt down as far as you could past your thighs so you could bend over and pick up your clothes. You were about to make your way to the bathroom that was in his room so you could change, but then he suddenly spoke.

“You’re gonna get shy on me now, babe?” He asked, and you don’t even have to turn to see the smirk lining his lips.

Same old Taehyung, you thought to yourself somberly as you tried to push away the sting pricking at the back of your eyes. You didn’t reply, and instead continued to make your way to the bathroom, but he was quick to catch up to you before you could shut the door.   

“Hey, hey, hey,” He said as he jogged towards you, and then suddenly one of his hands was cupping the side of your face and the other was on the door. He was standing right in front of you, and finally you got something glinting off of his eyes other than neutrality; concern. “I’m sorry. I… I didn’t mean to make you feel weird with that… I just — It’s just that I can see how uncomfortable you are, and I hate that I’m the one that’s making you feel that way. That’s seriously the last thing I ever wanna make anyone feel, but especially you. I’m sorry. I just wanted to like lighten the mood to make you feel better, because clearly I fucked up.”

You could see just how guilty he felt, and that wasn’t what you wanted at all. Taehyung was just trying to help you in the only way that he knows how, by being himself, by trying to make you laugh, by just… Being Taehyung. So how could you possibly be upset with him for trying to make you feel comfortable when you looked like you were anything but?

“N-no, Tae, that’s not what’s wrong,” You said quickly to reassure him. “It’s just that I’ve obviously never woken up to you in this… context, so I guess I don’t really know how to act, and I didn’t know how you were going to act, so it just made me really nervous.”

That was the simple version of how you felt, but for right now it was good enough just to make sure that Taehyung knew you were okay.

“That’s good. I just really wanted to make sure that you were okay. I didn’t know if I did anything wrong last night when we were…” He trailed off, sparing the details that were now playing on a loop inside of your mind.

“No, I promise you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m fine,” You said with a hint of a forced smile, but if Taehyung noticed he didn’t say anything. “Now if you’ll excuse me, so I can get dressed and not be grounded for my entire last year of high school.”

“You really aren’t gonna change in front of me?” He said with a look of disbelief, and it actually makes you laugh. “Was I not good enough? Because let me just say that you were everything I imagined and more—” You didn’t even hear the rest of what he had to say because you were practically burning up on the inside while also dying of laughter as you shut the door on him.

—-

The drive back to your house was relatively quiet, but not exactly uncomfortable. You both made small talk about the things that had happened at the party before the two of you had gone upstairs together. It actually felt kind of nice, just listening to the low hum of the radio as the landscape changed from open lakes and trees, to suburban neighborhoods, little dialogue being exchanged as it happened.

Eventually the car came to a stop. Taehyung parked one street over from your house. You were feeling really nervous about going back. You hadn’t gotten any texts from your parents but maybe that was just so they could ambush you at the house with lectures once you finally came home.

“Uhm, thanks for the ride, Tae. I guess I’ll head back now.” You already had your fingers locked around the door handle when something suddenly caught your wrist.

“Wait, Y/N,” Taehyung loosened his grip, letting his hand fall onto the middle console once he knew you were going to stay. “I really don’t wanna seem annoying or pushy, but… Are you sure you’re okay? You’re just being really quiet and you seem so… distant.”

You bit your lip at the accusation, mind fighting with wanting to tell him how you felt, or just flat out ignoring the situation completely. Both were going to end in damages, but only one of them required immediate conflict, and that just wasn’t something you wanted to deal right now.

“Taehyung, I said—”

“You’re fine, sure. Y/N, look if you want—” He cuts himself off, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration before continuing in a much softer tone. “All I’m saying is that if you want to talk about what happened with us last night, then please just tell me. I get that I seem like that fuck n’ leave type of guy, but you know me better than that. You know that if you want to talk, I will sit here and have this talk with you, but I can’t if you keep saying you’re fine when I know you’re not.”

You were actually at a loss of words after that. You’d never seen Taehyung act like that before, and it wasn’t that he was being mean or anything, but he just sincerely wanted the truth when you clearly weren’t giving it to him. And sure, you definitely weren’t ready to give him the full truth of why you were acting the way you were, but maybe talking it through with him could actually help.

It was pure silence for a couple of agonizing seconds before you finally responded, head tilted down, voice quiet. “So… You’ll talk about last night with me? Like, no joking around, you being a hundred percent serious?”