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"I can't do anything right" for the angst prompts ❤️
Whumptober 2021
Prompt: helplessness, blindness
Fandom: mcu
Ship: hydra husbands
Extra: well dear, I wasn't sure where to go with the prompt at first, then I began working on this and it all fall together.
I'll have you know that I actually made myself real sad and cry at some points so I had to stop writing and distract myself a bit.
Also, that's short... But I'm considering expanding it a little when the whumptober is done!!
Hope you like it @miii-chaaan 💖
Jack sat on the bed, his back propped up by pillows, staring ahead at the light green wall and sighing. The clock alarm went off some time before, but he didn't move. There were things to do, cooking for a start, and trim the garden before that one specific bush went out of control and tried to jump the fence separating his garden to the neighbor's. She was a good woman, old, very understanding, and said she didn't mind, it was a nice bush, but it wasn't polite. He had to train too. And perhaps he could convince Brock to come shopping with him, it would be nice, act normal, domestic. Newlywed. Or something like that.
He didn't move. He felt so tired, he didn't bothered checking the time the night before, but he was sure it wasn't too late. He just felt tired.
The door opened, the wooden tile cracked softly under barefeet, Jack turned over and stretched a smile for Brock.
"hey, how long have you been awake love?" the mattress moved and bent under him, brock's fingers touched his face gently. "why didn't you call me?" his lips found Jack's in a sweet, slow kiss, Jack breathed out.
"was thinking." he whispered, leaning over Brock and closing his eyes. "so much to do, today... And I don't wanna move." he admitted and Brock chuckled softly, he felt his chest move with the laughter.
"well, we don't have to do anything actually. Let's just stay here in bed and cuddle."
Jack briefly wondered his words. They could, of course, and Brock would indulge him so much, he always did.
"but first, here. Meds." jack groaned, hid his face against brock's shoulder and shook his head. "love, my dear come on. It's just a little pill, it will make you feel better."
It took Brock a bit longer that day to coax him to finally take them before allowing him to return with his head over his shoulder.
"that's it, that's good Jackie. I'm proud of you." he kissed the corner of his mouth, Jack could feel him smile. "now we stay here all you wish darling."
Jack hummed satisfied. They laid in bed for a while, time was strange sometimes to Jack, he lost track of it so easily and fast.
"legs feel warm." he muttered, sometimes in the late morning, Brock didn't stop his fingers from rubbing his scalp and hummed affirmatively.
"it's real sunny today, warm. I've opened the window, your legs are all in the sun."
"oh... Feels nice"
"yeah, it does. Wanna move in the garden after lunch babe?"
"I..." he stopped. He wasn't hungry, not really, but he couldn't tell Brock that, he didn't like when he said that, when he refused to eat, so Jack tried, he tried really hard. "yeah. Would be nice." he smiled, Brock planting a kiss against his temple, close to his eye.
If he tried hard enough, Jack thought, maybe things would work out and return as before.
"oh, good afternoon boys." their neighbor called, they tried, at first, to stop her from calling them boys, they weren't that young anymore, she scoffed with a half laughter and kept calling them so. In the end they didn't mind, she was nice. "enjoying this nice sun?"
"oh, you can bet on that Mrs. Liening." jack tried to smile too, it wasn't as bright as Brock's, but it was there, a twitch of his lips, and it was enough.
"that's good. It's good for your health."
Yeah, Ava Liening was the perfect neighbor, the best they could hope to find, and they had been worried about that when buying the house, all those years before. Mr Liening was still alive at the time. They liked her, and she liked them for some unexplainable reason. Most likely luck.
Not every day was that good, and Jack knew that all too well. There were days when he felt human, when he felt like he could do everything, felt like he could fight the world and win. There were good days. And in his good days Brock had his bad ones.
Jack didn't blame him, on the contrary, he felt like he could finally repay all Brock did for him everyday, show him the same care and love, remind him that it was alright to feel bad, and that he was there to fight with him. That was love, after all. That was their marriage and Jack wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
Except...
The toast Jack managed to put together was burned, he could smell it. It probably didn't look too good, but it was still a toast. And he almost dropped the glass cup when getting it out. And cut his fingers when peeling the apple. Multiple times.
He wasn't a bad cook in truth. There had been a time when he could make a whole dinner for Brock and make it look like it came out of a restaurant. Of course at the time he could see while now... Now the world turned all of his blinds down and left jack to walk into darkness.
"not hungry." Brock grumbled from the bed. Jack swallowed, he balanced the tray in his arms and took a step closer.
"I understand... But you need to eat something, Brock..."
"I said I'm not hungry. Stop it."
"just a bite?" jack tried again. "you'll feel better aft---"
"and what would you know about how I feel?!"
He froze, Brock moved suddenly, it didn't sound like he got out of bed but for sure he turned around, which way jack couldn't tell.
"mh? How would you know? Of how much pain I'm in all the time?! Every single day, and you... You come here and say I'll feel better with what? A burnt toast?"
Jack tried. He kept telling himself that Brock didn't mean it, not really, that it was just a bad day, and better days would come, easier days. Jack tried not to burn it, it was just too hard.
"you can't even make a toast right."
Brock-- Brock wasn't angry at him, he was just tired, and in so much pain from the burns over his body, and now Jack troed to give him a burnt toast like it was joke and---
He felt a burning shame blossom in his chest, he lowered his head and muttered an apology with trembling lips before turning away. Brock didn't stop him.
Some days were hard, some were even harder.
He left the tray on the table after bumping against the chair, took a shuddering breath and tried to stop himself from crying. He wasn't a kid, and Brock was right after all. Still, it hurt. It hurt so much. It hurt because Jack knew he was right, Jack knew he was useless like that. Brock needed him, his skin burnt and melted and in pain, and what Jack did? Sit on the bed and do nothing, let Brock do everything for him.
It took him a long time before finding the strength to go back in their room with a glass of water and the meds and painkillers. He left them on the bedside table over a scribbled paper.
"love you"
Nothing else. Just two crooked words. Like that could make everything alright again.
Jack hated these days, but he would never blame Brock. If anything he blamed himself for getting electrocuted during the fall of the triskelion.
Brock swallowed the pills dry and drank the water later. He vaguely remembered Jack standing on the door with some dinner, he vaguely remembered what he told him, the way he looked, the way his glazed eyes got sad and filled with tears that refused to let fall in front of him. Brock knew how wrong were his words. Of course Jack knew how he felt. Of course what he said was true, because that was exactly what Brock told him everytime he didn't want to eat.
Yes, he was in constant pain, but so was Jack, he knew the damage the shock caused to his body. Not just his sight now gone, his heart too. Brock wondered if Jack was aware of that, and decided that no, he wasn't. And he wouldn't tell him, not yet. Somehow, no matter how, Jack always ended up suffering the hardest blow.
He found him curled on the couch, tears streaks over his cheeks, his hands tucked under his chin, the dog tags around his neck held tight, the one belonging to Brock. He could picture him tracing the engraved name over and over.
He kneeled next to him, took a moment longer to admire him as he slept, then he bent over and kissed his forehead, immediately stirring him awake. Always a light sleeper, Brock smiled.
"Brock?"
"expecting someone else, my dear?" he asked, kissing his lips, he felt him tremble, not fully answering the kiss but not pulling away. He felt new tears fall and touch his skin. "hey, hey... What's wrong? Why are you crying now?"
He caught them with his thumb and Jack let out a soft sob.
"it's for what I said, isn't it? Oh, Jack... My Jackie I'm sorry. I should've never--"
"you're right..." he sobbed quietly, leaning more into the touch, fingers curling around brock's wrist. "I can't do anything right... I'm just... I'm just standing there."
Brock pulled him closer, he trapped him in a hug and hid his face in Jack's shoulder, tears now falling from his eyes and himself unable to stop them. He just held Jack close, breathed in how he smelled, tried to mark it in his memory for-- no, just in case. Just to have something to focus on during bad days. Smell, warmth, the feeling of his fingers clawing at the back of his shirt.
"you have to believe me on this, Jackie dear, you, standing there, by my side, is all I ever wanted and all I will ever wish to have. Until the end of days."
May them be so far away.
Brock wasn't exactly religious, with all he had seen and done in the past he was sure no God would ever answer his prayers.
“Kiss me,” Eric blurted, and lord he wished he could have blamed it on being drunk. And maybe he was, in a way. Drunk on Jack’s gaze, and his grin, and the way his hand was so, sowarm against his skin. “I mean…um…”
“Okay,” Jack whispered, and his fingers uncurled to palm Eric’s cheek, thumb brushing along the corner of his mouth before his head dipped in low, and their lips met.
****abuse tw**** positivity for a jack who killed all the beta kids, half of the alpha kids, and attempted to kill 4 trolls? I also was abusive towards karkat, spades, WV, PM, and terezi in my timeline :c -Blind Jack
hey jack, it’s alright. i’m sure you’d do anything to fix what happened, but whats done is done and you can’t go back in time and fix your past self. what matters is what you do now and just you feeling guilty over it is enough. all you can really do now is apologize! i hope you can forgive yourself soon and i’m sure everyone else will, too.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
When your boyfriend’s roommates are always around. Alternative title: When your roommate’s boyfriend is always around.
Wanted to draw 76 “chilling” with Team Talon which is inevitable for him (Reaps and Sombra are shittalking other ppl’s outfits.)
In 1248, the foundation of the Cologne Cathedral was set down. Construction continued until 1473, when the process became intermittent until the mid-16th Century. It was only with the romantic movement of the 19th Century that construction resumed. From 1842 to 1880, construction continued until the cathedral was completed, a day shy of when the foundation was laid 632 years prior.
