#blankpage

"Skyhaven" Residence, Ghouma, Libanon,

Every story begins with a single word, yet that word often feels heavier than the entire book that will follow. I’ve always found beginnings strangely terrifying, almost paralyzing. The blank page doesn’t intimidate me because it is empty—it intimidates me because it is infinite. There are countless possibilities inside its whiteness, and once I choose one, all the others vanish. That weight sometimes keeps me from even starting, as though hesitation were safer than creation.

But beginnings are also intoxicating. They carry the thrill of opening a door without knowing what waits behind it. I’ve learned to love that moment of uncertainty: the heartbeat before diving in, the silence before the first note of a song. In those fragile seconds, everything still feels possible. The characters haven’t yet defied me, the plot hasn’t tangled itself, the doubts haven’t risen like shadows. There is only the promise of discovery.

And perhaps that’s why I keep returning to writing despite the fear. Every new beginning feels like a small act of rebellion against my own doubts, a reminder that even imperfect words are better than silence. The first sentence may not be the right one, but it opens the path for the ones that follow. And once the door is open, the story begins to walk.

I’ve got a lot of unwritten pages in my book And I can’t live with dying before I’ve written something on every page. The perfectionist thinks: don’t spoil the blank page, but biology insists: do something before it’s too late. The clock is ticking, the page turning, before it’s over let me love someone so fiercely it feels like burning. Fill every line even if it doesn’t rhyme. You’re wasting all your time. Live before it's too late. Live before you die.

Second chance; second act; starting over with experience:

Do you love notebooks? I know I do. But most of the days I just don’t know what to write.........

By the way, it’s been years!

The good news is: I woke up this morning, and suddenly I felt that I need to write something. Well it’s been so long since I’ve written anything. I mean, yeah things have been soo busy lately, especially after I joined the ‘work force’ and everything. Just an update, I’m really grateful that I get to finish college and also get a decent animating job, and still be able to be active in the marching band + pursuing my obsession with dance / musical theatre stuff. It’s been a hustle, but yeah, I’m enjoying it. I hope my 8 year old self is proud of me lol.

So yeah, the thing that I’ve been wanting to write:

Is I don’t know what to write.........

The thing is, I just realized that I own like several blank, unwritten notebooks. Some I got for myself, some are gifted from other people. And I LOVE THEM. I love getting notebooks. 

But I really don’t know how to use them properly. You know, I’m afraid that I’m going to misuse it. I mean, since I’m not it school anymore, I’ve been writing less and less important stuff. Even if I have to write anything I usually just make a note on my phone #millenials. 

Also I just got Taylor Swift’s “Lover” deluxe album, which basically is a journal book consists of her old journal / diary entries and blank pages for you to write your own. Maybe that’s also what triggered me to start writing again, hehe. But yeah, I don’t want to just use them as personal diaries. Well they turned out to be quite cheesy and besides, I still keep one that I use since 2014/2015. I’m not constantly writing, so I still have plenty of space to write my not-so-daily contemplations and rants on.

I’ve been thinking to use one of my notebooks as a goals / productivity journal (and I’ve tried). But again, like how most New Year resolutions end up, I kinda stopped doing it by the end of January. Things got busier, yadayada. I’m planning to continue it tho. Never too late to start again right? :)

Well that’s one book. And I’ve got plenty more of it!

What should I write in them?