•·.·'the awkward black girl'·.·•
I thought about using ChatGPT to generate prompts for my first blog because I don’t know how to form topics that can express my own emotions.
That’s a hell of a first sentence. I’ll start with something easier.
My name is Sage (not really, but it’s easier than being me). At age 19, I’ve done most things - college and my first boyfriend, which is a lot considering who I am.
I had no intention of starting a ‘blog’, but my best friend (let’s call her Amethyst) called me at the ass crack of dawn, asking if I wanted to read her essay about deconstructing her faith. That’s a crazy sentence, I know. Stay with me. When she got off the phone, I glanced up at the Creative Gods and winced. They gave me another idea, and I hate that I enjoyed it. What else am I supposed to do - just let it dwindle in me until I rot completely?
So, here I am with my blog named the awkward black girl.
I think I resonate with this name more than my own (my actual name, not Sage). Before you ask, I’ve never seen Issa Rae’s show. I didn’t even know it existed until I searched it while writing this sentence. (Excuse me while I contemplate whether or not I even like that name).
I'm not expecting anything to happen with this blog at all. I'll be lucky if someone just glances at these words in passing. I just want something or somewhere to put all my thoughts into play and see them as for what they are and not what they will turn into if I let them fester.
(Fester means to rot basically, so it's the word I'm looking for, but in this sense, it doesn't seem right. Maybe, I meant to settle, but that doesn't fit either. I need a dictionary with me at all times.)
I'm hoping that someone discovers this blog and finds their place. I think that's what all little black girls are looking for; a place of their own. They can have this one. I'm willing to share if that means anything to anyone who's reading.
Everyone is welcome, to be honest, but these experiences will not resonate (this is the second time using this word. I need a thesaurus too) with everyone. Like a menu that caters to a rich person's appetite, this blog caters to a black girl, struggling, thriving, and just living.
Welcome home, black girl, you've been missed.
