#bizarre-trader

The scene opens in a card shop. As with any card shop, there is a storefront near the entry, and the back has tables at which people play various games and chatting. There is one table, center screen, with a boy (roughly age 12) that is playing

Commander with three older teens. Across from him is Jessie, to her left is Tyler, across from him is Jason. No description is given for the characters to better allow the artist’s idea to take shape.

Jessie: So, thanks to [Krenko, Mob Boss], I’ll be sending 15 2/2 goblins to each of you. Taking blocks into account that should be enough to win. Any responses, Tyler? Or is New Years following the Christmas you gave Jason last turn?

The players all groan at Jessie’s joke as she looks left, to Tyler. The other players also shift their gaze.

Tyler: Well, I don’t have another [Holy Day] but if I’m dying anyway, my angels will spread the blocks so if anyone is able to make it there’s a little less of an army across the board from them. Jason, you got anything?

Tyler looks across the table to Jason, the others following suit.

Jason: Well, thanks to the [Felhide Petrifier] my minotaurs all do have deathtouch, Tyler: Do they have deathtouch? The players smile at an inside joke Jason:  Always! So, I can take out some gobbos as well with a few blocks, but I can’t take the other twenty damage. I suppose after declaring blocks I’ll cast [fireball] and spread it to three more goblins, but fourteen damage is still lethal for me.

Jason taps 5 [Mountain], 3 [Swamp] and [Temple of the False God], then lays [Fireball]. As Jason does so, Jessie: You should be happy I didn’t get out my [Coat of Arms]. Jessie sticks out her tongue at Jason. He returns the look.

Jason: You got any tricks to play, Zeke? This deck doesn’t exactly run any [Fog]. Tyler: You still didn’t pick up a [Darkness]? Jason: I did, but it’s in my vampire deck. Just seems right.

The group chuckles for a moment, and attention turns to Zeke, who is reviewing the three cards in his hand. The camera angle shifts over his shoulder, and we see the three cards are a [Cloudshift], a [Fog], and a [Give No Ground]. Zeke starts to pull the [Fog] out as if to play it, but then stops to check his watch. He looks over the board one more time.

Zeke: I didn’t realize it was getting so late. Maybe it’s best that the game is coming to an end. Jessie: So just blocking with your commander, [Phelddagrif]?

Jessie is beaming like the cliche poker player just before they hear “Two pairs… of aces”.

Zeke: Her name is Phreida. And before I declare blocks, Zeke taps his last untapped mana, which is an [Island], a [Forest], a [Plains], and a [Fractured Powerstone]. He then lays the [Give No Ground] from his hand.

Zeke: I play [Give No Ground], and Phreida will block the 15 of them.

Jessie has a bit less wind in her sails, as she was clearly hoping for a grand slam, but knows she will be able to take out

Zeke on her next turn. Jessie: That’s fine, it’s not like you can attack next turn with only an [Avacyn’s Pilgrim] left on the board. Zeke: He’s just there for the mana, actually.

Zeke taps [Avacyn’s Pilgrim] and plays [Cloudshift]. Zeke: Don’t underestimate Phreida. Jessie: Well played, Zeke. Anything else before combat resolves?

The table looks to Tyler, who puts his thumb up. Attention moves to Jason, who also puts his thumb up. Zeke then puts his thumb up, followed by Jessie. Tyler and Jason then start putting away their cards while Jessie changes some dice to reflect the many valiant goblins that lost their lives to expand Krenko’s reign.

Jessie: Okay, I end my turn. I assume you’re attacking for the win, Zeke? Zeke: I’ll still draw, to make sure Phreida doesn’t get burned while attacking. Zeke draws the top card of his library, a [Howling Mine]. Zeke: Declaring combat? Jessie puts her thumb up, as does Tyler. The table looks to Jason. Jason: I’m out, but sure, combat is declared. Jason also puts his thumb up. Zeke: Attacking for four, leaving [Avacyn’s Pilgrim] untapped. Jessie: Good game, guys. Jessie and the others exchange “Good game” and handshakes. Jessie: So five points to Zeke for another win. Four to me for taking out two opponents in one turn, even though I didn’t get the grand slam. One to Jason for first blood. Anything I missed?

Jason: One to Tyler for last turn’s [Holy Day]. Saving me from that goblin uprising might have only delayed the inevitable, but I appreciate it. Too bad you didn’t have a [Fog], Zeke.

Zeke has already put away his cards in his deckbox, with [Phelddagrif] in front. Zeke: It was getting pretty late, and I still have some homework to do. Besides, we all got points, so we all have a pack to open.

Tyler: Sure enough, he’s got a point. ((Tyler smirks at his pun.)) I’ve got two Amonkhet packs, an Eldritch Moon, and a Kaladesh. You won again, Zeke, so you get first pick.

Zeke: Eldritch Moon is super creepy, and on Amonkhet all the kids my age are just training. I’ll take Kaladesh, it’s the most interesting.

Tyler: Okay, second place. Jessie, what’s your pick? Jessie: I’ll do Amonkhet. Hopefully I’ll finally crack a [Sweltering Suns].

Tyler and Jason do rock-paper-scissors while Jessie fans her newly opened pack wide. Jason wins the game with rock. Tyler: Your pick, Jason? Jason: Amonkhet. I’m hoping to replace my [Mogis, God of Slaughter] with [Neheb, the Worthy]. Tyler: Guess I’m getting Eldritch Moon. See you all next week!

– Intro Song, probably titled “You are a Planeswalker” …(not akin to the Captain Planet chant except for ‘Planeswalker’ and 'protecting all planes’ being swapped) –

Zeke hurries out of the store with his backpack on, and we see the store sign on the doors and on the building proclaim it to be “Communications Outpost IX”, but the first three letters and the Roman numerals are white while the rest are blue. Zeke stops suddenly to look both ways before he crosses the street again at a dash. He stops to check the mail, and rushes inside.

He takes off his shoes at the door while calling out Zeke: I’m home! He finally has slowed down, and goes upstairs to his room where he sits at his desk and begins unloading his backpack. The camera has followed behind him up the stairs and to his room, and while he unloads book after book, the camera turns enough that we see he has a room full of nerdy nostalgia and memorbilia, mostly Magic. The walls also have the art posters from Fat Pack (now called Bundle) boxes. As the camera stabilizes and he begins doing homework, we see a window behind him that shows the sun begin to set. There are two branches that are not quite the shape of Bolas horns that the sun passes through on it’s way down. As the sun breaches the horizon, Zeke wipes his brow and reaches for the Kaladesh pack. As he prepares to open it, he takes a deep breath. As he does tear open the pack, the scene rips at the same angles. (Totally brownie points if this also happens to be the same pattern as from Doctor Who).

There is a short, semi-psychedelic sequence reminiscent of Doctor Who, Doctor Strange, and any 'magical girl’ transformation.

The colors bleed down from the top of the scene, leaving only lines at first. They twist and turn and leave gray shapes behind, with Zeke the only color on the image. Zeke is still in the same seated position, but is now at a forge instead of his desk.

A [Self-Assembler] takes an item laying next to Zeke, and we see it is welding together a replica of itself. It reaches for the next item and pauses once it notices Zeke’s presence, its hand is outstretched to grab the item it expected to be there.

Zeke shakes the outstretched hand in greeting. Zeke: Hi! I’m Zeke. What’s your name? The construct tilts its head and looks at its hand. It begins a low whistle. It isn’t a loud or sharp sound, but the factory itself is nearly silent save for the light whirring and clicking noises of non-organic workers.

A [Chief of the Foundry] enters, trotting like a mix between the gait of a centaur and the slither of a centipede, directly to the [Self-Assembler]. The Assembler looks at the Chief then at Zeke, before extending its hand.

Zeke seems a bit confused, but again shakes the hand offered to him. Zeke: Hi! My name is Zeke. Both constructs tilt their heads to look at the hand of the Assembler, then look back to Zeke. The Chief turns to the Assembler, which then moves slightly behind the Chief, as if for an extra layer of protection. The Chief then duplicates putting its hand out at the same angle and height the Assembler had. Zeke seems to be growing a bit uncomfortable, but still shakes the Chief’s hand.

Zeke: Hi! My name is Zeke. What’s your name? The Chief turns to the Assembler, and they look at the Chief’s hand. A moment passes; they look toward Zeke, but he is gone.

The Chief picks up the item that Zeke had been sitting on in a way that the audience might interpret as a boss (or mother) giving a “It was here the whole time” lecture. The Assembler seems concerned about Zeke’s presence, but the Chief acts like there was nothing out of the ordinary, before skitter-trotting away. The Assembler picks up the item and begins to weld it to the replica, but looks back at where Zeke had been sitting, then to the hand that Zeke shook.

The camera zips by a few assembly lines to Zeke, who is marvelling at a large train in the middle of the factory. He approaches the engine and we recognize it as the [Aradara Express]. The first car is being filled with crates, but Zeke is able to hop in.

Zeke sits atop one of the wooden crates, his feet not reaching the floor below. He reaches in his pocket and pulls out his deckbox. He closes his eyes as he pulls out the front card, [Phelddagrif]. As he concentrates, feather-tips begin to form in white, and it seems the light in the train car coalesces to form a mass of white light between the wings (in roughly hippo shape). Some of the white at the front of the shape begins to darken and forms two deep blue eyes, the 'toenails’ also are a lighter shade of blue. Green fills the rest of the wings and the rest of the form changes from white to purple. Zeke opens his eyes and Phreida, the [Phelddagrif] nuzzles Zeke’s knee.

Zeke: Welcome to Kaladesh, Phreida.

– Commercial break –

The [Aradara Express] is zipping along the track and we see an overhead view of it. The camera view zooms down and levels just over the top of the train, so we see an expansive forest. The camera then goes to the train car where Phreida and Zeke are watching the surrounding [Forest] go by. The train begins to brake suddenly, and Zeke topples into Phreida. Zeke’s head pops up, a look of excitement on his face.

Zeke: I wonder why the train stopped. Let’s check it out, Phreida! Phreida moseys to the doorway and drops out of the train, due to the drop, from the camera angle she looks similar to the top of a hippo rising above the water. Phreida extends her wings for Zeke to slide down the left, then the right, and onto the ground. This is clearly a move they’ve had a lot of practice doing.

Zeke: Maybe it was a Gearhulk! I bet one of those could stop the train. Or a low-flying skywhale, maybe! Phreida moos (or whatever sound it is that a half-hippo hybrid makes) Zeke: You’re right, girl. [Aradara Express] has Menace, so couldn’t be blocked by just one creature, regardless of how big and tough it is!

Zeke and Phreida get to the front of the train, where a conductor tries to shoo a pair of [Wily Bandar] from the tracks. The conductor, who is dressed similar to the art of [Blossoming Defense], is Indian and has an accent, but is speaking fluent English.

Conductor: Get out of here, you mischievious bandar! Don’t you know it isn’t safe to play on the tracks?! Zeke: Railroad tracks are dangerous, you need to look both ways before crossing, and not play around. Zeke’s statement is said out of caring, not condescension, like how one would talk to a cat that got its claws stuck on a scratching post.

The Conductor is surprised at Zeke and Phreida’s presence. Conductor: No, I meant not safe for the train. I’ve seen one of those get caught under a train and derail it. The bandar than scurried off without even a scratch!

A [Peema Outrider] gallops to the three, clearly concerned regarding the commotion. The outrider sits a little too tall and straight to be taken fully seriously.

Outrider: Why do you trespass in the forests of Peema? Conductor: Quit it, Bhavin, you’re not fooling anyone. Hiran, you’re looking well. The conductor reaches out and pets the filigree steed. In return, the mount pushes its muzzle gently toward the conductor’s hip, as if searching for a treat. Bhavin loosens up, and seems more like an equestrian than a soldier.

Conductor: No, Hiran, I don’t have a treat for you. I stopped the train because of some bandar on the tracks, I wasn’t expecting to see you.

Bhavin, the Outrider: Those bandar are always out for mischief. We really should put a fence around the track or something. But who are these strangers, Advika?

Bhavin points to Zeke in the casual, palm-up style. Zeke reaches out and shakes the hand, despite it clearly not being intended as a handshake.

Zeke: Hi! I’m Zeke. Nice to meet you, Bhavin. He reaches out to shake Advika, the conductor’s hand as well. She takes it. Zeke: And Advika. Zeke reaches out and down a bit in front of Hiran, the filigree steed. Even Hiran shakes his hand. Zeke: And Hiran. This is Phreida. Phreida simply nods at the three Kaladeshians. Advika: I suppose these two were stowaways. I didn’t know they were on the train until I almost hit those bandar. Hard to sneak on a beasty of that size, I imagine.

The conductor points a thumb in the direction of Phreida, who snorts at the mention of her size. Bhavin: It’s almost curfew anyway. Would you like a ride into the city, Zeke? Zeke: How about a race, instead? Last one there’s a rusty thopter! Zeke leaps onto Phreida, who expands her wings to catch him more gracefully, then crouches down and wiggles her rump. Despite being so much larger, she looks like a housecat about to pounce on the red dot of a laser pointer. Bhavin sees the passion in her eyes and moves into racing position alongside Zeke.

Bhavin: Your steed may be mighty, but Hiran knows this forest better than his own filigree. I’ll see you at home, Advika! Advika: Bhavin, do you think for a moment you can insult the Aradara like that? I’ll try not to let your curry cool too much while you catch up. On the count of three!

Bhavin, Advika, and Zeke all count in unison to three. Then Hiran neighs, Phreida makes whatever a hippo noise is and flaps her wings, and the Aradara’s horn blows. Hiran and Phreida are neck and neck starting out, and despite its slow start the Aradara is soon catching up.

We hear the unmistakable sound of a phone ringing, and Zeke reaches into his pocket (with some resistance and difficulty due to the speed they’re going). He withdraws a [Fractured Powerstone] and we see it says 'Dad’; Zeke puts it to his ear.

Zeke: Dad? Dad: Sorry, kiddo. Traffic is backed up here. Would you be able to pull the meat from the fridge before I get home? Zeke: Yeah, I’ll just finish this up quick. I love you, Dad! Dad: Love you, too, Zeke. I’ll be home soon. Zeke shoves the phone back in his pocket and calls out to the others. Zeke: Sorry, but I need to hurry home! Zeke, again with difficulty, reaches into his deckbox and closes his eyes. Gray envelops Phreida’s and Hiran’s legs and forms

[Swiftfoot Boots] on Phreida, [Lightning Greaves] on Hiran, and we also see that the [Aradara Express] now wears a [Haunted Cloak]. Though they all increase their speed significantly, Phreida has experience and confidence to outperform the others.

(Okay, so for the Aradara it isn’t confidence of the train itself, but Advika not wanting it to derail) Zeke opens his eyes momentarily to verify that Phreida is in the lead, then closes his eyes and concentrates, allowing

Phreida to take flight. Thus Zeke and Phreida reach Ghirapur before the others. Zeke jumps off of Phreida’s back and calls out: Be right back!

The color fades from the scene except Zeke. Once it is otherwise black and white, the lines of the scene move and tremble into the shape of Zeke’s room, with him sitting at his desk. He gets up to go to the kitchen, and the camera looks over his shoulder at the newly opened pack of Kaladesh cards. [Self-Assembler], [Chief of the Foundry], [Aradara Express], [Wily Bandar], and [Peema Outrider] are all seen. The other cards are either still in the pack or simply blank.

– Commercial Break –

Zeke is once again stepping through a tear in reality which matches the previous planeswalk. On the other side of the tear we can see his bedroom. Phreida is there, but no longer wears the [Swiftfoot Boots]

Zeke: That was a great race, Phreida, and you were outstanding! But where are Bhavin, Hiran, and Advika? Phreida looks back and we see the others arriving (with haste ☺). Advika waves but doesn’t slow down. Hiran goes from a gallop to a trot as they near Zeke, and as he slows the [Lightning Greaves] fade from existence.

Bhavin pets Hiran while looking and speaking to Zeke: We underestimated you. But perhaps when next we meet it will be an even more exciting match.

Zeke: Sorry, my dad called and needed a favor. Bhavin: Worry not, young Zeke. Bhavin dismounts while continuing to speak. Bhavin: Hiran always likes to stretch his legs, and Phreida is a worthy rival. Zeke: We’ll look forward to a rematch, then. Umm… This is our first time in Ghirapur, actually. Would you be able to show me around?

Bhavin: Sadly, I do not. Advika needs me to pick up eggs from the market to bring home, but our paths may be trod in togetherness until then.

Zeke and Bhavin walk between Phreida and Hiran into the city. There is no yellow brick road on their journey, but the feeling of friendship and belonging matches the tone well. Also, since Bhavin has been at work and needs to bring things home for dinner, it makes sense he has a picnic basket for his lunch (It may have come from a compartment inside Hiran). Inside the picnic basket is the 1/1 Servo creature that may or may not bear some resemblance to Toto.

The scene zooms out, over the city, and we see many signs of the Inventor’s Fair. The camera adjusts and zooms back down to street level, at the bazaar. We hear a light murmur of transactions and barkers in the background.

Bhavin: This is where are paths are last entwined. I seek eggs, and I hear there is a strange seller of shaved ice. Vidai, Zeke and Phreida. 

Zeke: Bye Bhavin. Bye Hiran. Nice meeting both of you! Phreida moos kindly (yeah, we’ll stick with the term moos). Hiran nods. Bhavin and Hiran depart.

Zeke and Phreida walk along the bazaar. In the background we see a gnoll trader happily (and loudly) attempting to sell rocks. They fly off the shelf, but only when he throws them in enthusiasm. As Zeke and Phreida are walking, Zeke is admiring all of the stalls. He stops when he sees a stall advertising maps of landmarks and murals throughout Ghirapur. The stall itself radiates a Hollywood “Star Map” vibe.

Zeke sticks out his hand for a handshake Zeke: Hi, I’m Zeke! The [Ghirapur Guide] shakes the offered hand. Zeke: It’s my first time here. Would I be able to get a tour? Guide: I’d be happy to show you around. And will your parents be covering expenses? The guide looks around expectantly, his hands wringing slightly. They begin to slow a bit and he looks a tad disappointed at not seeing any adults that seem to be in charge of Zeke. He looks back to Zeke, perplexed. Zeke responds solemnly.

Zeke: Dad got stuck in traffic. He’s not with us. The guide clearly believes Zeke’s father has passed on. Guide: Oh, dear. Well, I suppose I can make one exception. It has been a slow day, and it is almost curfew. I’ll close up shop and show you the sights between here and my home. There’s no charge for that.

Zeke: Thanks! The guide begins closing up his shop. Zeke helps as much as he is able. After finishing, the man beckons Zeke to follow him. Guide: This way. I only live a few blocks away, but there’s plenty to show throughout Ghirapur. When you have coin, of course.

The three walk about a block with the guide pointing out spires in the skyline, different structures, and a fountain. As they pass by an alley a noise very much like a can of spray pain is heard, which prompts the group to look for what is making the noise. Zeke and Phreida simply step into the alley, the guide is hesitant. A [Spontaneous Artist] is doing some graffiti, but upon noticing he’s been spotted dashes off. Though the wet paint is a leaky spire (sign of the resistance), Zeke also notices purple graffiti in the shape of Bolas’s horns, with the word “trespasser” underneath. Zeke: This doesn’t belong here… Guide: Well, neither do we. Besides, it’s quite close to curfew. A noise like a loud hummingbird is heard, quickly growing louder. A [Thopter] zooms into view, scans the graffiti, and then scans Zeke. The thopter turns to Phreida, but she opens her mouth (art could mirror that of [Mouth // Feed]) and the thopter is engulfed within. Zeke looks back up the alley to where the guide was, but we see him runny away. The wingbeat sound of the thopter is now muffled, but we now more clearly hear the chop-chop-chop of propellers and large wings. The camera looks along the side of Zeke’s face, still down the alley, as a [Weldfast Wingsmith] lands. Wingsmith: Vandal! The camera pans right as Zeke turns to look down the other end of the alley. As the camera pans, Zeke’s face goes from the right side of the screen to the left, very action-movie style. At the other end of the alley, a [Propeller Pioneer] landing mirrors that of the Wingsmith. Pioneer: Hoodlum! Wingsmith and Pioneer: By the authority of the Consulate, stop! Phreida opens her mouth for the very wet, but only slightly damaged, thopter and nudges it toward the Pioneer. Zeke leps onto Phreida’s back: Let’s take the elevator! Phreida is off the ground in an instant, going pure vertical, the wingsmith and pioneer don’t miss a moment in chasing. Zeke: I guess they know what elevators are here. Phreida attempts to outmaneuver the two while Zeke reaches for his deck box, but a net catches the two in the air. We see [Baral, Chief of Compliance] in the distance, with his mask on but a slight blue glow where his eyes would be. The Wingsmith and Pioneer land on either side of the net holding Zeke and Phreida. Wingsmith: By order of the Consulate Pioneer: You’re under arrest.

– Commercial Break –

The scene opens to three jail cells, side by side. Though the cells don’t have windows on the back wall, there is a window on the far left and right, by which we can see a night sky. Even in jail the metal bars are filigreed, with filigree more heavy on the right side of the cell (this allows the idea that each cell does have a toilet, but neither confirms or denies it). Zeke and Phreida are in the center, a [Lawless Broker] in the right, and a sky pirate on the left. The sky pirate simply lays in bed, as if asleep. Zeke is being nudged by Phreida, he squirms and awakens. [Lawless Broker]: Boy-o, I can get you out of here. Zeke: Wait. Where are we? Broker: The holding cells of the Consulate. But I can get you out, for a price. Zeke: Consulate? Oh! Kaladesh, I almost Suddenly grappling hooks pierce the back walls of all three cells. They pull tight, and then yank the walls asunder. We see a skyship on the other side, slowly lowering itself to become even with the jail floor Sky pirate: Took you long enough. I almost fell asleep, Kari! The skyship is now just low enough that we begin to see the face of the only person on the deck of the ship, [Kari Zev, Skyship Raider]. Kari: I couldn’t leave my third in command to take a vacation in a jail cell. We have places to be and aether to redistribute! Pirate: What do you mean, third in command? Tell me you didn’t promote that fool Qadir! Kari: You’re the fool if you think I trust either of you more than Ragavan. As Zeke, the pirate, and the broker step onto the ship, we see [Ragavan], a white monkey wearing goggles, at the helm of the ship. Kari: Ragavan, take us out of the city. We’ve a tradewind at our back, and glory ahead! Zeke’s “phone” rings and he once again pulls out the [Fractured Powerstone] from his pocket. Once again it says 'Dad’. He answers it. Zeke: Okay, Dad. I’ll be right down! Zeke presses the stone one, as if clicking the “end call” button. Zeke: I’m sorry, everyone. Glory will have to wait for next week, it’s time for dinner. But have fun overthrowing the Consulate! Bye! Zeke simply disappears, Phreida fades out. Kari turns to her third mate with a look of both confusion and excitement. Kari: You think we can overthrow the Consulate? Pirate: Come now, Kari. You did say we were headed for glory!

End