#bimarried

I had abandoned this blog and much of my exploration of my bi side.  Things are better at home than they have been in a long time.

Still have the slight bi attraction, and wish society allowed to to be openly explored (and by society I mean my wife...lol).

But over the past few years I have come to like whole self.  This side I cannot share (being bi) is nothing to be ashamed of at all.  It is a real part of the human experience.  

I was in a bad place 5 years ago (or was it 6?) when I met the whispy haired guy who was so open and honest about his journey.  He saved me from going down a self destructive path by sharing the ups and downs of his own journey.

He did not see his own light that shown so brightly, and let his demons hold him back.  But he was able to change my soul and allow me to learn to love myself and to choose to stay on the path I was on, as it is the right place for me.  

Do I wish I could have it all? Sure, don’t we all.  But relationships have sacrifices and you stay if the good outweighs the bad.  In my case the good is really good.  

I like this blog cuz of the people I have chatted with here.  One guy (who I only know here, but because of the whispy haied one) chose a different path that had lots of bumps in road, and he is now so happy (and fit as shit...yum).... he too helped me by sharing his story.  

Does anyone understand?  I feel very alone. 

I am examining my feelings and I wonder if I am really bisexual or just feeling so alone in my marriage. 

We have a good marriage, but my wife is not that interested in sex and that leaves me feeling hurt, lonely, and lost.

While we do have sex almost weekly, her interest is often clearly just going through the motions.  However, when she is into it,  WOW.  It is not that she has no desire or feelings for me... it is just not a priority for her.

I have explored my bi feelings, and I wonder if it is real or just a symptom of a desire to be close to another person who understands.  

Life if more complex and complicated than I was taught growing up.  The inside wants, desires, and needs seem to collide with the economic and social pressures of society.