"I don't think we should be lovers"
"And I'll be real, I don't want no friends"
(but then you hear Ditto again⦠and suddenly you're thirteen, heart cracked open, dancing under LED lights in your room.)
Dear Digital Diary,
I miss NewJeans. Not just the music, but the feelingβthe way they make girlhood look like magic and melancholy wrapped in glitter and camcorder film.
Thereβs something about them that feels like a warm summer after school, like walking home with headphones on, like writing your crushβs name in the margins of your math notes.
Theyβre younger than me babies, really but they inspire me so much. Itβs that nostalgia-coded magic that hits like a memory I never lived but still feel deep in my chest.
I have six younger brothers (yes, SIX). And sometimes when I watch NewJeans, itβs like getting a glimpse of the little sisters I never had. The ones Iβd braid hair with, share secret Spotify playlists with, and defend to the end of the world.
"I got no time to loseβ¦"
"λ΄ κΈΈμλ ν루⦠λ λ³΄κ³ μΆμ΄"
(Is it weird to miss people youβve never met?)
Fun fact / Laniy lore time:
Iβm the only child my parents had together. And I wasnβt supposed to happen, not really. They were already in the middle of a divorce when they found out about me. But life had other plans, and I ended up being the blessing they didnβt know they neededβ
their only daughter.
They both got remarried. And both ended up with only sons after me.
Maybe thatβs why Iβm so soft for NewJeans. Something about watching them grow, laugh, be weird and wild and wonderfulβit makes my heart ache in the best way.
Iβve been a K-pop fan forever. Like, SHINeeβs debut in elementary school forever. "Replay" was my gateway drug. Back then, everything felt new, experimental, alive. But over the years, things started to feelβ¦ recycled. Same beats, same outfits, same formulas chasing the BTS-BLACKPINK high. I was starting to drift.
Then NewJeans arrived. And it was like I could breathe again.
Min Heejin? A legend. I was already obsessed with f(x)βs Pink Tape, SHINeeβs Married to the Music and Dream Girlβiconic concepts she helped birth. So when I heard she was debuting a new girl group, I was there. Front row. Lightstick charged. Heart open.
And yeah, we wonβt talk about PD-nim. As someone whoβs literally studied entertainment law and business, his management feels like flipping a coin every press release. Never sat right with me, even back in the GLAM/BTS days. But that's tea for another day.
"Stay in the middle, like you a littleβ¦"
"Don't want no riddle."
(But life is kind of a riddle, isnβt it?)
My birthday is in two daysβshoutout to Haerin and Treasureβs Yoshi, my birthday twins.
So today, Iβm treating myself in their honor:
soft hair masks, glowy skin, my favorite comfort food, and nails already slayed.
Because self-love is real love.
Because the girls would want me to.
Because this soft life? I earned it.
xoxox
lots of love,
Laniy
(your favorite feral fairy turned sentimental big sis)











