#biglots

a box store isn't where they sell boxes. it's where they sell stuff they bought "in volume" and marked up only as far as the stuff would look cheap. i go to one of these stores. it's where retail items get one last chance, like habitual felons. i buy two bars of Cashmere Bouquet soap there because i need soap and i've liked that name for decades and it's a two-word surrealistic poem. the husband of the woman in front of me in line to pay, he's disabled. he leans on one cart while she unloads the other. they're around 40. she hands him his retractable cane, then unloads 2 rugs, 9 bags of gerbil food, and 10 boxes of cereal. as the cashier shoots the items with his laser-gun, he says to the other cashier, "when do we get help?" the woman in line ahead of me to pay says, "are you hiring?" the cashier does not look at her and says, "we just hired some people. there's an application over there." i watch the disabled husband. he keeps his game face. he refuses to look ashamed. he looks out but not down. i think he was hurt on the job. badly. like his leg is permanently wrong. he still wears the jacket with the label of his company. his hair is neatly trimmed. the cashier says, "will that be credit or debit?" the husband says, "debit."

Big Lots is a store with ridiculously low prices and a high chance of snatching up your soul for demographic trends and “possible” coupon exchange. That, however, is the reality that the customer lives. Employees, as with any customer service gig, are introduced to a whole other shade of orange.

To begin, for those out of the know, Big Lots refers to all customers as “Jennifer”. This sounds like a Nightvale gag. I assure you, it is not. Our motto is to “always treat Jennifer right” for the express attempt at gaining cards called J+ cards, so that we may have a literal “chance” at employee of the month, which ultimately means nothing.

This, however, is not why I’m documenting things. For anyone who works at Big Lots, this much is your reality and, even though it smacks of corporate attempts at hivemind mentality, it really doesn’t affect anyone that much. No, what I’ll no doubt be posting about is the conditions that follow being a cashier, the ridiculous reasons an EAS sticker is required for deodorants, toothpastes, and laundry detergents--all of which range from $2 to $5-- and why this is a form of violence, and finally, the billion topics you do not bring up with a cashier, no matter how comfortable you feel around them.