Murdermedia where Alastor dies first I always imagined Vincent would immediately commit soon after or die in Alastors name in some way similar to how he originally went.
But if Vincent were to die, I imagine Alastor would be floating on autopilot. I don't think he'd be in denial of his feelings, I think Vincent's death would be the first time he actually realized he was in love with him. If Alastor had killed Vincent, it would've been fine, because Vincent is his and therefore his life is his. If he died from natural causes, Alastor could've come to terms with it and died along side him, getting the chance to say I love you.
But for him to die of a sudden death like murder, I really think Alastor's brain in some way would've blocked his death from his memory, because he wasn't prepared to feel all these sudden emotions. He would've routinely went through the motions of disposing his body, And then forget about it the next morning.
He would wake up with the bed empty beside him, and rationalize it by saying he's gone to work early. He would set two plates out for dinner and justify the full plate by saying he got full on junk food or take out. He would see dishes piled in the sink on Vincents dish day and sigh to himself because he forgot to do the dishes again.
He doesn't have to help adjust his tie anymore because Vincent got better at it, he doesn't hear the sound of the television because Vincent didn't feel like watching it today, he's not there to brush his teeth, take a shower with him because Vincent already did his nightly routine. Alastor doesn't feel Vincent cuddle up behind him because Alastor loves his space and Vincent finally respects it-
Except that would bring Alastor back to reality, because Vincent loves Alastors space more than he does. Vincent would never stop watching TV, Vincent would always need help fixing his tie. In a fit of hysteria Alastor would run around the house panting: "Where is he? Where's my Vincent!?" He'd run outside, behind the woods of their his their house rambling over and over: "Where's my Vincent? Where's the love of my life?"
"Where's the air in my lungs? My soul and reason to live?"
"Where's my heaven? Where's my Joy? My peace?"
"Where's my Vincent?!"
Until subconsciously he's made it back to where he's buried him, digging up his corpse. Decomposed, over a month- maybe four- old. Holding Vincents face in his hands. "There you are, there's my Vincent." He'd stay there I think, until he dies of dehydration or starvation, whichever would come first. Until finally he's made it to hell. His soul would ache and he'd feel empty, he'd wander the streets of hell murdering everyone in sight- the legend of the radio demon, how he seemingly slaughtered decades of overlords over one night would gain a new meaning- he did it not for power or fun but desperation and need. Their screams would be broadcasted to everyone in hell and overtop of them a single phrase:
"Where's my Vincent?"
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