#biggcaz

Gender role kinda stuff is dumb and stinky anyway. Just be yourself and use whatever gender pronouns make you comfy.

Yeah that is unfortunately something that took until a bit into adulthood for me to get, and I still struggle with it.

And personally? My feelings about my gender are pretty well summed up by the shrug emoji a good chunk of the time. A lot of times I think “My gender is whatever you want it to be. I don’t even care.” I have she/they as my pronouns in my bio, but I wouldn’t really be bothered by people using he either. I don’t think I’d like any outside those three, but that’s mostly because they confuse my poor brain that sometimes mixes up first, second, and third person pronouns let alone introducing new ones. (I will use them for someone else if they prefer them, I just don’t want them for me.)

But I continue to id as a woman mostly because it’s less complicated and my gender feels are so apathetic that even seeing myself as non-binary feels like it requires caring more than I do. I don’t know I guess most of the time my gender feels like it’s no more a part of my identity than my hair and eye colors. It’s just... there.

@biggcaz replied to your post:

I took that shit for granted where I lived. Girls and boys just wore what they wanted and were into whatever they wanted. When I grew up and went to college, I was so confused by what people were on about with conforming to gender and what not. Its a social shit show.

Yeah, that’s it exactly. It’s performance. A lot of middle school for me was expected performance of things I didn’t measure up in. And when you’re an insecure kid getting bullied, those things can hold more weight. Especially when the adults who could stop the bullies are also feeding you shit about how people would like you if you conformed to your gender better.