#bianca's notes

now that i’m back on my pokémon grind after finally getting to play shield & let’s go eevee, i really really wish they’d consider doing unova remakes

not that i’ve been to a lot a lot of cons, but w h e w. the way some people wear their sense of entitlement & complete, total disregard for the fact that celeb guests at cons are also real human beings who get tired and burnt out as badges of honour? mind-boggling. just absolutely mind-boggling.

i wish someone had told me this before i had internalised and normalised it but like. your parents’ sacrifices, especially if you are the child of immigrants, does not justify the verbal and emotional abuse, or the lack of privacy, or the constant violation of privacy, or “you’re my kid and you were so expensive to raise so you owe me,” or the complete and total muzzling so that you don’t speak out and defend yourself, or the control of every aspect of your life so that you become the perfect fruit of their labour that they can parade around instead of what you were supposed to grow into. it’s okay to struggle between feeling stifled and trapped & feeling useless and ungrateful, and it’s okay to want out, and it’s okay to get out. it took me years and years to figure out how to put myself first and put my boundaries up after living like this my whole life. and it’s more than okay that it’s still a work in progress after all this time.

miss halsey didn’t have to call me out with “i know i’ve got a tendency to exaggerate what i’m seeing, and i know that it’s unfair on me to make a memory out of a feeling,” and yet here we are