#bgv

So Tsukki has had several (3) boyfriends before, and the last one was…not great. Tsukki had a baby crush on Kuroo during training camp era (sadly, I started bg before the whole nationals kurotsukki goodness we’re getting so I’m not gonna include it), but neither made a move. I don’t think Tsukki would have ever been the first one to do it? Like he’s this first year and there’s no clue this dude is anything but straight. Thing were good for him so he wasn’t going to risk that by asking Kuroo out. But enough about them.

We’re not counting the boy from middle school because I don’t want to. The first boyfriend was an upperclassman that kinda became interested after watching the whole Karasuno going to nationals deal. They were good together but there was nothing to write home about? They didn’t exchange I love you’s or anything. They were both doing their own thing and didn’t pay much attention to the relationship so it kind of faded away on it’s own. They had an awkward situation with a sudden latex allergy and an embarrassing trip to the doctor and they never fully recovered from it. 

It all goes downhill from there.

Boyfriend number two was an ass. Like he was nice when they were alone but then when they were out with his friends it’d be a whole different thing. He didn’t want to appear less of a man? Especially cause he was the bottom? A lot of internalised homophobia and toxic&fragile masculinity there. His friends would say Tsukki was rude or they’d make a tasteless joke and he’d like….laugh and say nothing else. It did not last long, like at all. Doesn’t mean that it didn’t leave some hurt on Tsukki, but he could see through it and why he acted that way. Tsukki feels sorry for the dude now because he can tell he’s going to end up hurting himself more and more with that bullshit but also fuck him for planting the seed of that mindfuck. 

Third boyfriend was great, at first, but then Tsukki started showing interest in more “feminine” type things and having other interests he was holding back on with ex-2 (for obvious reasons). It was a sore spot for him because he made Tsukki feel weird about it and kind of only accepted it if it was a sex thing, which we have already established it’s really not. I think that Tsukki would be a lot more comfortable and would delve more into things “boys aren’t supposed to like” (and it’s in quotes because that’s absolute bullshit, anyone can like whatever they like regardless of gender identity) if it weren’t for this boyfriend. They weren’t openly dating (because ex-3 was not out yet), and while that was fine with Tsukki because he’s not exactly a pda kind of person it starts to take a toll when the person you love keeps saying they’re not dating anyone (I mean.) (and yes Tsukki loved this dude, which is why the breakup was hard. )

There was a slippery slope to derogatory language and it was a mess of things, eventually leading to a messy breakup that made Tsukki spiral a bit.

They’re at a point where their trying to figure out who they are, you know? They’re on the road to graduation, and Tsukki is captain and it’s just the huge pressure of ‘what are you going to do, who are you going to become?’ and this particular dude was someone who was nice at first but eventually became someone who wasn’t right for Tsukki and their relationship wasn’t a healthy one when it ended. That doesn’t stop you from liking or loving people, it’s not like you can press a button and be like ‘okay, no more feelings for this dude because he makes me feel shitty about myself.’ It made Tsukki a little rougher in turn and when he noticed he didn’t like who he was becoming or who he was around this dude, he broke it off. The follow-up to that wasn’t the best, but he hadn’t learned healthy ways to cope with something like that when he’s basically still a kid/starting to learn how to be an adult.

There was a lot of support from home on the ‘where are you going to go from here’ front, but Tsukki is not the type to share any of this stuff with his moms or with Aki because he doesn’t want them to worry. He didn’t say anything to Hinata because Hina was having a rough ass time himself (and those are spoilers! but do know that Hina eventually realised and was really fucking sad he hadn’t noticed in time. it was a very emotional, cathartic moment and it helped Tsukki move on from all of it and showed him he had more support than he thought!! We love Tsukkihina)  and Tsukki is really good at making it seem like everything is fine, but he did have Yama and Yama eventually got his mom involved to help him out. This is steering away from past relationships a little but for Tsukki, Yama really did that.

Tsukki might be in love with Kuroo but Yama will always be his longest love, and that doesn’t take away from whatever romantic relationship he might be involved in at any given time (even though I have good word that the kurotsuki sticks for a really long ass time). They’ve (TsukkiYama) been together through thick and thin, they’re a team, and giving friendships and people who you love platonically in your life a high place shouldn’t create conflict with romantic partners. It’s why he respects Kuroo and Kenma’s relationship so much, and why he doesn’t feel “threatened” by Kenma and Kuroo being so close and having their own traditions.

Tsukki is in a good place right now, emotionally and mentally speaking. It’s why he and Kuroo could get together, I think. If he was still in that place there would have been no room for anyone else in his head, and he’d be busy recovering and trying to get his footing back. And then there’s Kuroo, who has his own issues, but who adores him, and makes him feel loved and safe and like he doesn’t have to be anything or anyone other than who he is. They bring out the best in each other.

(I could gush forever on how Tsukki makes Kuroo feel safe and loved and like just needs to be him)

I didn’t proofread any of this so I’m sorry for whatever hellfire typos there might be.

“Did you know that the tracks made by our races have been interpreted by Muggles as evidence of extraterrestrial life?” Hermione said as Draco pulled out of his charms box.

“Like tentacle monsters from Mars?”

Hermione smiled at his tone, warm with amusement and the hint of disbelief. “The very same. We’re making crop circles, and the American Muggle media has a field day with them.”

He hesitated for a breath. “Hermione, are you making a pun?”

The accusation clicked, and Hermione threw her head back, letting out a too-loud, “Ha!” Draco’s line on her clipboard juddered in response. “I suppose I am. That was clever, wasn’t it?”

“Don’t give yourself too much credit,” he grumbled. “What’s got you into such a cheery mood, anyway? Good visit with your parents?” Draco’s voice picked up an edge, like he knew that a brief visit with her parents was the least exciting part of her summer break.

Her smile faded. She couldn’t tell Draco about Bulgaria. Not before a race, maybe not even before the end of the season. The last thing she needed was him getting distracted, losing focus, or flying angry. And while she didn’t like keeping a secret from him, him needling her about it was hardly fair.

Draco could win this weekend. But far from the certainty she’d felt ahead of Clearwater or Monaco, a creeping sense of dread overcame her. She didn’t doubt the team’s ability to perform.

For perhaps the first time all season, she doubted her own.

Logically, there was no reason for it. She’d consistently demonstrated her ability to execute brilliant strategies. This weekend shouldn’t have felt any different.

But it did.

The Needles Headland was Nimbus’ home race. A win here meant more than at any other track on the calendar. The stands were filled with white, red, and gold, and whenever Draco and Ron took to the air, the fans’ cheers overwhelmed the steady static of falling rain and the random roars of gusting wind. A top-step victory on Draco’s first home outing wouldn’t just be a memory that lasted a lifetime. It would be a statement, an irrefutable rejection of anyone who had ever doubted him. Or her.

And it all came down to her judgment.

Hermione pressed a hand to her chest, willing her heartbeat to slow. But the cure for this brand of anxiety wasn’t deep breathing or visualisation. It was throwing herself into her work until she’d accounted for every possible scenario. She refused to fail him tomorrow.

“Draco…” The comms unit caught every nuance of her exasperation. “This isn’t the best time.”

“If not on track, and not later in my room, then when?”

“Maybe when we’re not at work?”

Draco’s hands tightened along the handle, causing a brief judder around the penultimate lake before he started the climb back to the starting line.

“What was that? My data showed—”

“I know exactly what it showed,” he said. “When are we not at work? We practically live in the shed. I spend more time atop a broom than I do in my own bloody bed. Though I’m hoping you’ll help me change that.”

She huffed, half outrage, half frustration. “Yes, but we agreed—”

“We agreed to be discreet,” he said, “but I don’t recall us laying out any specific rules of engagement last week. I think you were too busy enjoying my fingers on your—”

“Draco! Stop being so… difficult.”

Far from critiquing her, Draco’s eyes softened. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” she said, fighting a blush, struck at how quickly he could disarm her. “How was dinner?”

“Fine.” Draco tugged at his cravat, pulled it loose, and tossed it into the ether. He undid his top two shirt buttons and rolled his shoulders, like he was preparing for battle rather than polite conversation.

Hermione took his proffered arm with narrowed eyes. “What happened?”

He stiffened beneath her fingers. “Why do you ask?”

“After ten races, do you honestly think you can hide your moods from me?”

“You don’t know everything about me,” Draco said, confident in the redirection. “I have depth, Granger. I’m deep.”

She let it slide. “You mean there’s more to your personality than go fast? I look forward to seeing it one day.”

Laughter sparkled in his eyes and warmed her chest.

“Seriously, though, is there anything I need to know before we go in there?” They made steady progress through the palatial hall, towards the sound of alcohol-fuelled revelry. “I don’t want to walk into a duel without my wand in hand.”

He stopped them just short of the threshold. With a purposeful breath, Draco faced her squarely. “You’ve met my parents. You understand how they view the world.”

Hermione nodded, no stranger to sanctimonious pure-bloods.

“Their guests are cut from the same cloth. And they’ve all been drinking since five p.m., so I don’t know what you’re—”

Loud laughter and the sound of shattering crystal pulled their attention. A group of women were doubled over at the sight of a broken wine glass. Their laughter only grew louder as the pieces disappeared into the floor.

“I don’t know what you’re going to hear tonight,” Draco finished, voice low and ashamed.