#betterthanbefore

You dish yourself up some breakfast, opting for fresh fruit and a piece of toast before sitting down on the table opposite them. Their blushing having subsided, they relaxed into conversation and you all talked over breakfast about nothing in particular. It was nice to see your sister happy like this, she was always happy but not this kind of happy. It was a welcome distraction from the night you had last night that was full of sickening memories, making it feel like it all happened yesterday. You had all finished breakfast and you volunteered to wash up, Harry for the second time since you meet him offering to help. Poppy decided to take this opportunity to shower and get ready for the day. It made you realise how none of the people you had dated had ever been this polite and invested in small family-like tasks.

“So what are your plans for the day, Y/N?” Harry asks, seemingly more comfortable than when you first entered the room, after the random conversations over breakfast.

“I’m not really sure, I think I might wait to see my friends until after Christmas so I don’t really have anything planned till then.” you respond with a happy shrug, content with just staying home.

“Well, if you like, Poppy and I are thinking of going out to pick up some last minute gifts and having a movie night at my place afterwards. You’re more than welcome to join us.” he says excitingly. Harry had grown a liking to you in the 24 hours or so of knowing you and seemed really excited to have an almost - non related - big sister in his life. He could definitely see bits of you in Poppy and some of those bits were his favourite things about Poppy, so getting along with you was incredibly easy.

“I wouldn’t want to intrude or third wheel a movie date!” you say, a little apprehensive to cut into Harry and Poppy’s time together.

“You wouldn’t be! Poppy’s missed you heaps and I know she wants to spend as much time with you as possible before you go back to uni.” he says, looking up at you reassuringly and saying without saying that Poppy has talked nonstop about how she misses you and how much you mean to her. Finishing up the dishes and folding away the tea towels, you think for a minute.

“Oh well, in that case I guess I could fit you guys in to my day.” you say with a laugh. Harry unfolds the tea towel he had perfectly folded, twists it and tries to whip you with it but you dodge it just in time. Before you can grab your towel to start an all out war you hear footsteps enter the kitchen.

“Now, if anyones going to win that battle it would be me.” Poppy says in amidst a laugh, the fondness in her eyes becoming more visible as she walks closer. You could tell as soon as Poppy had introduced the both of you that she was worried about the two of you not getting along, after all you were her big sister and your approval mattered more than most. Both you and Harry share a look and without a word you both wind up your tea towels and fling them towards Poppy. You raise your arms up in a truce whilst fighting your laughter shared with Harry at Poppy’s squeal.

“Alright, alright. I’m going to go get ready.” you say, leaving them both in the kitchen to fight out whatever playful war that was brewing.

After having a shower, you chuck on some black jeans, a white t-shirt, your leather jacket, red scarf and your favourite black boots and head out with Poppy and Harry. All three of you pile into Harry’s car and drive it back to Harry’s house before you all walk the short distance to the train station. There was no way that two days out before Christmas you would even dare to drive into and around Central London, let alone on just any other day. 

You forgot how much you missed home as you all got off the train and walked out of the station. Walking down the street, one after the other because walking side by side would be pointless with the amount of people busily walking around you. All of you spent the time browsing in shops, aimlessly wandering around since Harry hadn’t bought presents for his brothers and had no idea where to even start looking. 

You all entered a boutique little stationary shop because you, Poppy and your mother all had an unhealthy obsession with buying notebooks that you would never write in, pencil cases you would never fill up completely and books with pretty covers that you would never read and would gather dust on the coffee table.

“Actually, this might be perfect!” Harry says, louder than expected as he walks quickly towards a display full of tacky movie paraphernalia in the ‘back to school’ section. He holds up a Spider-Man phone case, that looked pretty heavy duty to Poppy and she laughed. You looked between them, a little confused at whatever inside joke they were playing off and they caught your facial expression after they stopped laughing.

“My brother loves Spider-Man but is TERRIBLE at taking care of his phone and still hasn’t bought a new one. So whenever he does, we’ll make sure it lasts.” Harry says with a smirk. Seeing it as more of a joke than an actual present, he buys it with the intention of getting something else but he couldn’t give up the opportunity to have a joke. You all leave the store before you and your sister go stationary crazy and use the excuse of ‘It’s for Mums Christmas present’. Hopping from shop to shop, taking photos together on your adventures and before you all knew it, you had empty stomachs, hands full of shopping bags and a very dark sky above.

“So I think it’s about time we head back because I need a couch and a pizza asap.” Harry says, taking Poppy’s bags off of her to carry them.

“That sounds like a dream. Are you going to join us? It’s movie night? And there’ll be food..” Poppy says in a way, that is half bribery and half guilt tripping.

“You know me, I can never turn down food and a movie!” you say, offering to take some of the bags Harry was carrying with a nudge since you only had one. He declines but gives you a soft smile as thanks and you all continue on to the train station and towards Harry’s house. Before you arrive to Harry’s place you receive a text from your mum,

“We’ve just arrived home to an empty house! Where are you all?  Are you okay? Should we wait up for dinner? xx”

“Yeah sorry, our shopping ran a little late as well. I’m with Poppy and Harry now, heading to Harry’s for a movie night so don’t wait up for us 💕” you walk slightly behind Poppy and Harry, slowing down to reply.

“Alright love, well text Dad when you’re ready to come home and he can come to get you and Poppy, if she isn’t staying over. Lots of love xo” she replies, quicker than usual, obviously not distracted by anything else and slightly worried about where you had gone. 

Your mum had a way of worrying about you but never showing it, unbeknown to her, you could tell how she subtly showed it but it just made it all the more obvious. Since what had happened almost 2 years ago, your parents had never felt the same whenever they didn’t see you home, so now they never second guess to text you to make sure you’re alright.

“Alright, will do xxx”    

Locking your phone and stuffing it back into your jacket pocket, you walk up the front steps to Harry’s house. You hadn’t realised how far you had fallen behind them until you saw Poppy waiting for you with the door open, you can imagine her heart would’ve skipped a beat too when she realised you weren’t right behind them. These are things you wondered whether Harry knew about, it felt highly likely he did, since you were so far away at university which made it harder for your family to be able to make sure you’re okay.

“Hurry up little snail, we have pizza orders to make, pronto.” she says as you slide past her into the warm hallway of the Holland house. You wait for Poppy to take the lead because you’re not the best with directions let alone walking through a house you’ve never been in before.

“Mum Dad, this is Poppy’s sister, Y/N!” Harry says excitingly as you enter the living area, following Poppy.

“Oh it’s so nice to finally meet you! We’ve heard so much about you!” Harry’s mum comes towards you and gives you a big hug.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Mrs. Holland.” you respond after being released from her very motherly hug.

“Please, call me Nikki.” she replies, laughing slightly at being called, so formally, by her last name.

“You two could almost be twins! I’m Dom, it’s lovely to meet you Y/N.” Dom, Harry’s father says as he comes forward to greet you similarly as Nikki did seconds ago.

“We were going to have a takeout and movie night in tonight, do you guys wanna join?” Poppy asks Dom and Nikki.

“No, no sweetheart, you guys enjoy yourselves. We had an early dinner and it’s looking like an early night for us, we have another crazy one joining us in the early hours of tomorrow.” Nikki says with a wink and gives Poppy a side cuddle.

“Alright you two, we have some important decisions to make.” Harry says, turning around, bypassing the fridge for the takeout pamphlets and heading towards the couch.

“Yes sir.” you say as you salute jokingly.

After much deliberation and waiting, you had all settled on a movie to watch and managed to pick out a food everyone felt like without ripping each other to pieces in hunger.

“So whats the plan for New Years, you little party animal?” Poppy said as you all started to lay out the delivered food on the coffee table in front of the couch.

“I think Serena’s having a party at hers so I might end up there depending on what your plans are. I did come to see you guys, after all.” you reply, unsure of what you even felt like doing but you knew it was approaching fast and you’d have to make up your mind sooner or later. For some odd reason, you were very  apprehensive to see your friends again since it had been so long and everything to do with him somehow always gets brought up into conversation. I guess that’s what you were avoiding.

“Can we come to Serena’s party with you? All of our friends decided to take a trip to some greek island but because of Harry’s brother, Tom coming home we had to stay-“ Poppy starts, butted in by Harry,

“You didn’t have to stay Pop, I told you that. It’s just my brother would’ve killed me if I wasn’t here to spend time with him whilst I could."

“I know but I wanted to stay with you these holidays, silly.” Poppy says, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek, making a very content smile cross over Harry’s face.

“Regardless, of course you guys can come. I’m sure everyone would be just as excited to see you, Pop’s, as they would me.” you reply, trying to make yourself feel less of a third wheel.

“Not true, I know they’ve missed you heaps and they’ve seen me in passing every now and again. It’s not like most of them don’t live just down the road from us.” she says, brushing off your attempt at putting yourself down. You knew your friends loved you but there was some residual tension left over from what had happened and how you had pushed them away slightly.

“I’m excited to see how Poppy lets her hair down around her sister because if she ends up the way she does without you, I can’t wait to see how she is around family!” Harry jokes, earning a pinch from Poppy and he returns with a toothy grin.

“It should be a very interesting night, most definitely.” you say breaking off a piece of garlic bread in the hopes that you can all start eating before the food gets too cold. That’s when you realise that you’ve obviously picked that up from your mother and smile to yourself as the other two get the hint and you start the movie.

You hardly last half the movie by the time you’re taking up one of the couches, asleep. You faintly hear your sisters voice as you stir,

“I’ll text mum and dad and let them know that we’ll crash here tonight.” Poppy whispers. “Do you want me to come with you to pick Tom up?” 

“No, no. Pop on another movie, in case Y/N wakes up and I’ll be home before you know it. It won’t take long.” Harry whispers back and with a quick kiss he’s gone. Next thing, a movie starts playing and it doesn’t take Poppy long to fall asleep on the sofa next to you.

You wake up very suddenly, thankful that it wasn’t because of another crazy dream - or memory. You search for your phone in the dim light of the TV screen and find it to be on charge - your sister is too good. 3:49am You see as you light up your phone, seconds later you hear footsteps outside and keys going into the lock of the front door. It takes you a minute to realise what’s going on,  processing the conversation between Poppy and Harry which you weren’t sure was a dream or real life and the fact the Poppy is right next to you, fast asleep but people are coming through the door. You look over to Poppy who wakes to the sound of the front door unlocking, opening her eyes with a sleepy smile, knowing that Harry is back home. She looks up to see that you’re awake too.

“Hey.” she whispers with another sleepy smile.

You hear stumbling and tripping in the darkness and the odd swear word as the stranger was finding their feet in the night. The light flicks on in the hallway and all you can see is a silently laughing Harry and an unfamiliar looking boy picking himself up off the floor.

“What an entrance!” Harry says, mid laugh trying to keep as quiet as possible. Earning him a roll of the eyes and stern look, from who you can assume to be the older brother, Tom that they’ve mentioned on and off since you got here.

“Alright mate, don’t wake Mum and Dad up.” Tom says, trying to play it off as if nothing happened after noticing it wasn’t just Harry and himself in the room.

“I could say the same for you, bro.” Harry said, still trying to calm his laughter.

“It’s good to see you again, Tom!” Poppy says, as she jumps up to give him a hug.

“Good to see you too Poppy! How have you been?” Tom responds, releasing her from the hug as she moved away. Poppy began on a tangent of what they’ve all been up to but Tom seemed a little distracted by you, aka the stranger, on the living room couch in his family home. Every time he glanced at you it left a little flutter somewhere in your torso but you couldn’t pin it to be in your chest or in your stomach but there was something about his gaze that your body couldn’t help but react to.

“Oh, crap! I’m so rude! Sorry! This is my sister, Y/N.” Poppy says, cutting off her rambling after noticing Tom’s gaze was leading straight to you. You nor Tom had realised you were staring at each other until now, you snapped your eyes away whilst getting up and walking over.

“It’s lovely to meet you.” Tom says with a smile, reaching out his hand for what you think is a hand shake but quickly realise is a hug. He holds onto your waist, giving you a kiss hello to your cheek and you hope to god you aren’t visibly blushing as he pulls away.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Tom.” you smile.

With that, Harry claps his hands and helps his brother with his bags and they both go up the stairs, leaving you and Poppy in the living room. You can’t help but notice the slight burning sensation left behind from where Tom grabbed your waist, with a slight pressure, pulling you in and you can’t tell whether it’s you blushing or the feeling of his lips touching your cheek that you’re feeling.

“Someone looks a little flustered.” Poppy says with a smirk, elbowing you in the side. Now you definitely know there’s no hiding the pink in your cheeks.

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After putting your stuff into your room and taking a second to sink in all the memories the room was filled with, especially since your mom had refused to change anything about it, it was time for lunch. Everybody was already sitting down at the dining table when you walked in to see a very confused dad looking up and whoever else was going them all for lunch. 

“What on earth are you doing here?!” your dad says loudly, standing from his chair with a loud drag across the floor. “I thought you had to stay at university during the break?” he continued, flashes off excitement and shock crossing his face before falling on slight concern. 

“I decided to surprise you guys.” you reply as your smile grows wider at the sight of your dad. You didn’t realise how much you had missed everyone until now. 

“Well consider us all surprised.” your father says as he wraps you into one of his famous dad hugs. 

“Now, sit before the food gets cold.” your mum had turned on her ‘mum’ voice for that one, seeing as she never liked to see food go cold or uneaten for that matter. Lunch with everyone is full of questions for you on how university is going, if you’re still liking it over there ‘because you can always come back home if you need to’ and what you’re planning on doing while you’re back home. 

“So Christmas this year..” you start, changing the subject before your parents team up and start operation ‘Bring Y/N Home’. 

“Well, yes it’s Christmas with the Hollands this year, I hope thats okay with you? We just didn’t know you were-“ your mum started but before she could finish you cut her off, 

“It’s totally fine! We all probably need to have a break from eating more than our weight in food because we made too much!” The table all laughs, especially your parents, knowing that a small mistake of making too much one year when you were younger had now become a tradition. 

“Don’t speak too soon, we’re household of guys and my mum, so we tend to have a decent amount of food that most of the time we can’t finish. It’ll be good to have some help this year!” Harry says with a laugh and you all join him in laughter.

                                    — — — — —

The rest of the afternoon was filled with watching movies with Harry and Poppy, your mum insisting on taking every piece of your washing and doing it herself even though there was barely any but the socks you wore on your feet. Your father was tucked away in his office all afternoon, he was always working but you understood that the business couldn’t run itself. You knocked gently on the door to his office and letting yourself in after hearing a faint affirmation. 

“Would you like a cup of tea, dad?” you ask through the gap after opening the door slightly. 

“Yeah sweetheart, I’d love one.” he replies, before you could close the door and make a pot of tea he stops you. “Can you come have a look at something for my poppet?” he asks, uncertainty rising in his chest. 

“What is it?” you ask as you enter his office and he hands you plans for what looks like a community centre or a library of some sort. 

“It’s the layout for the new theatre we’re putting in downtown but I’m having to work the the buildings outer walls considering it’s a heritage building. I wanted to ask what you thought about it?” This was something you both did often, every time you would come home you would give him some of your work and he would share his. When you were little, you used to draw next to him and you loved the idea of getting paid to draw stuff. That’s what lead you to study architecture. 

“So?” he pushes, snapping you from your memories. 

“I think it’s brilliant dad, really, but I think we may have to make a few changes still…” you say and your father sighs deeply, rubbing his forehead and picking up his pencil. You both worked on the project for a couple of hours, the pot of tea completely forgotten about.

It’s later, you and your dad decide to call it a night, he goes off to bed and you enter the living room to see Poppy on the couch with a bowl of popcorn sat in her lap looking rather bothered by something. 

“Hey love, what’s with the face?” you ask as you plop yourself down next to her after grabbing a handful of popcorn. 

“Harry’s been on the phone with his brother for the past 40 minutes and we were supposed to watch a movie.” she says in a huff. 

“Well we could just start watching the movie without him? I’m sure he wouldn’t mind that much would he?” she looks up at you as if you had just discovered the meaning of life and simultaneously presses play on the movie. You’re both halfway through the movie and the bowl of popcorn before Harry enters the lounge, still on his phone. 

“You started the movie without me?” he asks, slightly disappointed as he notices the half empty popcorn bowl. He taps the screen of his phone and walks closer to the two of you, “Look they’ve almost finished off the whole bowl!” he says to whoever is on the other line of the FaceTime call. 

“IT WAS Y/N’S IDEA TO START THE MOVIE! Once we did it was hard to not eat the popcorn!?” your sister points at you accusingly and you raise your hands up in defence. 

“At least, I wasn’t sitting here pouting while the popcorn went cold, you should be thanking me, my girl.” you reply, sending a smirk and she pushes you arm slightly in embarrassment. 

“It’s all about self control when it comes to popcorn Poppy and especially around Harry. He’s probably going to upset for weeks that he missed out on half a bowl of popcorn.” You hear from the phone, the other person on the line clearly with a smirk on their face. You have no clue who said that on the other line but boy, did they sound delightful to you. 

“Alright mate, I think that’s my cue to wrap this up. When do ya fly in?” Harry says, tapping his phone to flip the camera back to what your guessing to be his face. 

“I’ll be flying in tomorrow night, late probably. So try not to wake me up too early in the morning because I will, for sure, be beat.” the other voice replies. 

“No worries bro, well I’ll see ya tomorrow or how does 6am the next morning sound?” Harry laughs out, proud of his little jab. 

“Alright mate, you’re absolutely dreaming if you think I’ll be up then. Have a good night!” his brother replies. 

“Night” Poppy yells, followed by Harry, “Night bro!” 

The call ends and Harry flops down on the couch next to Poppy, “Man, does he not stop talking.” Harry says, exhaling loudly and stuffing his mouth with popcorn. “Can we start it from the beginning?” Harry asks cheekily. 

“No!” you and Poppy reply with a laugh. 

The movie finishes and you all head to bed. Brushing your teeth, washing your face and getting into your sleep shirt is an all too familiar routine especially in this house so much so it feels like muscle memory. You slide into your pre-warmed bed, bless your mother for knowing how cold you can get even under plenty of blankets and it doesn’t take you long before you drift off to sleep.

All you can feel is cold metal and rough material under your fingertips, you can smell burning petrol and country air, all you can hear is the sound of a car and wind brushing quickly past your ears. But you can’t see anything. The last thing you remember was being at the bar with your friends and the next, you’re waking up in what you assume is the back of a car. Whose car is it exactly? Where are you? Why are you here? How did you get here? Where is everybody?

You whimper as you come to, realising quickly that you had passed out or you were knocked out by something. Or someone. As you sit up, adrenaline and fear mix together to make a cocktail in your stomach that makes your blood run cold.

“Don’t worry gorgeous, we’re almost there.” you hear a sickeningly familiar voice but in your confused state you can’t quite put your finger on it. 

The next thing you know you’re being dragged by your restrained arms out of the car and now all you hear is the gravel crunching under your feet and the still night air. Deathly silent with only a few creatures stirring. You enter what you guess is a house and you’re sat down almost immediately, you hear mumbling and conversations silently being made and within seconds your blindfold is taken off and you’re faced with his wicked smile. 

“Hiya gorgeous.”

You wake up gasping for air and taking your wrists into each hand, alternating between both, trying to wipe away the memory of the cold metal. If there was going to be one place you were going to avoid, it would be that bar.

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