#betterout

Bloody hell. Enid Blyton has gone all political #brexit #strongerin #betterout #politics

I wish I could openly talk about my feelings and my family life with someone other than you but I’ve been having trouble with that. Perhaps I’m embarrassed, or just waiting for someone to die. I often slip into deep dug out pink holes, any wall I accidentally touch relays the rawness back to me. It’s because it’s a gnawing sadness, like an ache. Even with you, I’m unable to be completely overt. I’ve just always wanted to be happy so I tried to internalize optimism but as I’ve grown, I’ve realized sometimes things don’t get better and all you can do is try to love ppl even when you know they’re sinking and they want you to sink with them. Not believing in a mythological Christian God is also making me hurt, I wish to be blind, I wish to pray, anything is better than what I’ve been feeling since London. I have no belief right now, maybe that’s the issue, maybe losing my faith is more than my psyche can tolerate.