Like Iâll Never Love You Again
Beth tucked a strand of her long blonde hair behind her ear and smoothed down the front of her soft yellow waitress uniform. The old door creaked open and a small crowd of regulars walked in. She set her tray down on the bar as she looked around the old beat up bar she now worked at and smiled with a warm affectionate smile. Everyone who came here were regulars, mainly because it was the only bar in town and they happened to serve some of the best food in the county. Growing up in a small town where everyone knew everyone else, it was hard not to become a regular at a friendly place like Daleâs.
Her blue eyes scanned the crowd before making their way to stare at the man behind the bar, and she felt her heart give a little flutter. Daryl Dixon stood at the taps, filling a couple of mugs with beer, and talking to a group of their friends. Abraham, Rosita, Rick, Michonne, and Eugene all sat laughing and talking at the bar. Â She watched as Abraham said something to make the whole group, save for Eugene, burst into ruckus laughter. Sheâd grown up knowing Rick and his wife Lori. Sheâd even been around to help take care of Carl and new baby Judith when Lori had passed. When sheâd been looking for a job during her senior year, Rick had mentioned that Dale (a friend of her father, and owner of this bar) was looking for a new waitress since his oldest daughter, Andrea, had decided she was going to do some traveling. It was there sheâd been introduced to Mr. Daryl Dixon and the rowdy group she now affectionately called her friends.
When sheâd first started at the bar, Daryl had been surly and intimidating, and Beth had hated the shifts she had to work with him. Her first day had been miserable and sheâd wanted to quit within the first half hour.
Daryl loaded her tray up with mugs and bottles of beer with a hard stare, and simply pointed towards the table that she needed to serve. He mumbled something at her (more like grumbled) and turned to start taking care of customers at the bar. Having never waited tables a day in her life sheâd been nervous, but determined to prove to him (and herself) she could do this. She picked up her heavy tray took two steps, tripped on the leg of a chair set out from a table, and all but tossed her full tray to the floor, sending bottles and mugs crashing and spilling all over the old worn wood floor. The whole place erupted in a round of sarcastic applause and jeers. Humiliated, she crouched down to start collecting the shards of bottles and broken glasses. She got halfway done before a pair of worn hands batted her own out of the way. She looked up to see Daryl crouched down next to her. âIâmâŚâ
âJust go get some towels from the back.â He bit out in a clipped voice. She gave a silent nod and stood, on wobbly legs, and walked glumly to the back storage room where they kept the extra supply and the towels for clean up. Once safely safely inside the little room the tears started and Beth couldnât seem to make them stop. The door opened behind her and she blindly grabbed for the towels before her.
âI got the towels Daryl, here. Iâll be right out.â She choked out, shoving the towels towards the chest in front of her.
âBethy,â She jerked at the sound of Daleâs compassionate voice. âCalm down sweetheart. Everyone drops a tray their first shift.â She felt Dale wrap her in a gentle hug. âAndrea dropped three her first day, and even managed to dump a full draft into someoneâs lap.â She let out a sniffle as she listened to his words.
âIâm so embarrassed.â She whispered.
âDonât be. Youâll be a pro before you know it.â He gave her a light squeeze. âNow come on. Canât have my best waitress hiding in the back because of a little spilled beer.â She gave a watery laugh, and wiped at her eyes.
âIf Iâm your best waitress, I think this place is in trouble.â She joked and turned back towards the shelves with the fresh towels. She grabbed another handful of towels and turned towards the door, stopping dead in her tracks as she spotted Daryl darkening the doorway. He just looked at her and made her feel so small and useless. He grabbed another case of an amber ale and left her standing there. She sighed and scurried out after Dale, helping him mop up the mess with the towels. She walked back to the bar to find her tray and another tray filled with the same order sheâd just dropped.
âTake one tray and then the other. The first one may have been too heavy.â Daryl had grumbled without looking at her. Sheâd bit her lip, nodded and then made her way carefully towards the table still waiting for their drinks.
After the first day, sheâd worked hard to redeem herself, and slowly Daryl had seemed to warm up to her. Now she and Daryl hardly worked a shift without the other present, and often bantered back and forth like old friends. It was a solid six months ago that Beth realized she had a crush on Daryl. The sound of his voice made her insides do funny things, and when he smiled (because it happened so rarely that he gave a full, real smile) her knees went weak and she thought he was the most handsome man sheâd ever laid eyes on. Her sister had been the first to pick up on it, and had teased her mercilessly. She grabbed her empty tray and made her way over to the little group at the bar.
âAbe, you makinâ fun of poor Eugene?â She asked, stopping behind his chair.
âNot at all. It ainât makinâ fun if itâs true.â The group let out another round of laughs as Eugene just sat there, face passive. Rick slung an arm around her shoulders.
âHello Beth. Been wonderinâ when you were goinâ to make your way over and say hello.â She smiled as she hugged him back.
âYeah, heâs been complaining about hardly ever gettinâ to see you now that you work full time here.â Michonne added with a grin.
âAww, Rick.â Beth said in a teasing voice. Â âYou know youâre still my number one.â She watched as he rolled his eyes. âYou are!â
âCareful Beth, youâre liable to make every man in here jealous with declarations like that.â Rosita piped up from her seat next to Abraham.
âYeah. Daryl looks fit to be tied.â Abe responded. Beth rolled her eyes.
âHarhar.â She shook her head and shot a quick glare to Rosita. The two had become fast friends after theyâd been introduced a year back. Rosita was closer to her age than anyone else in their little group. Abe was a friend of Darylâs from way back. Rick worked with Abe, and knew Beth through her father (and her help when his wife had passed away.) Rosita had met Abe when heâd come home from overseas (he had been in the military for a short season) and had come with him when heâd moved up to Georgia from Florida. Michonne had been a completely new addition to the group. Sheâd just happened into their little sleepy town a little while back. Sheâd met Rick by chance and had quickly been accepted as a new addition to their group. âDaryl, will you come put these silly rumors to rest. Tell these fools you ainât in love with me.â Beth called quickly as she watched Daryl duck under the bar to grab something from one of the bottom shelves. She heard a grunt and looked triumphantly at the group. âSee?â
âOh that donât count.â Abe responded drily. She shook her head and patted him on the shoulder.
âItâs ok to admit you were wrong.â She teased before looking over her shoulder as the door opened and closed again. âWelp, I gotta go get back to work. Donât get too carried away over here.â She said as she walked towards the new patrons that had just sat down.
Daryl popped back up from the bar just in time to watch her walk away. âSo, are you ever goinâ to tell her you got a thing for her, or are you going to hide under the bar every time it comes up?â Rick asked before taking a quick swig of his beer.
âThere ainât nothinâ to tell.â Daryl responded quickly.
âRight. And Iâm a rocket scientist.â Eugene said flatly. âWhich, since you know me, you know isnât true.â Daryl fought the urge to roll his eyes. It had been like this practically ever since the girl had started working here almost three years ago.
Heâd watched her walk in, all sunshine and smiles and instantly knew she was going to be trouble. He loaded up her tray (heavier than he should have) and watched triumphantly as sheâd tripped and sent all the drinks to the floor.
Part of him, a dark part of him, wanted her to see she was in the wrong place and leave. Then her smiles and sunshine wouldnât be around to get to him. But another part of him, a bigger part of him, wanted her to stay and see if she could tough it out. When heâd seen her crying in the storage room after his little stunt, heâd instantly hated himself. She was new, and already having a tough time of it, she didnât need him being a hard-ass and making it even harder.
Since then heâd taken more care in making sure her trays werenât as crammed as they could be until he knew she could handle it. Heâd taken more care to help her learn who was who and what they drank so it didnât seem so overwhelming having to call in a bunch of drinks all at once. Heâd slowly felt himself start to harbor a small amount of pride as she grew more knowledgeable about what she was doing, as she started remembering more people, as she leaned on him less. She was becoming one of the best workers heâd ever seen, and heâd watched a fair share of waitresses and bartenders come and go in this place.
The first time it struck him that he might have feelings for her it had made him stagger.
She worked a double shift, covering for another girl who was really sick, and when it was closing time, sheâd hung back and helped. She helped lock up and turned out the lights in the windows, before she grabbed a rag and started wiping down the tables. Daryl had come out from the back storage room and heard her humming and singing to herself. Heâd stopped and watched her for a moment, marveling at how pretty she was, with her long golden hair, pulled back in a long ponytail. She had a braid tucked back into her curly tresses most days and he could just see it as she swished around the tables, dancing to the melody coming out of her mouth. When sheâd looked up and met his eyes, a smile on her lips and her cheeks tinted a light pink heâd felt his heart give and extra thud that left him all sorts of confused. His insides twisted around, but all he could do was smile at her. âSorry,â Sheâd said quickly, finishing off the table sheâd been working on before moving to another. âI like to sing when Iâm cleaning. Makes the time go faster.â Heâd nodded.
âYouâre pretty good.â He moved to start wiping down the bar and cleaning all the glasses behind the bar. âYou ever think about singing for our Friday night thing?â His eyes watched her carefully from underneath his dark fringe. She shrugged and shook her head.
âNo. Iâm too shy to get up in front of others and sing. Itâs just something I do when Iâm by myself.â He understood that and gave a quick nod. The soft melody started again and he smiled. He liked closing with her if he got to listen to her sing. He liked closing with her if he got to talk with her. He liked closing with because he got to spend time with just herâŚand the thought was a bit uncomfortable. He knew he liked her. Sheâd proved herself capable and able, she was a hard worker, and she was incredible smart. She was also pretty in a way heâd never really seen before. She was fresh, and young, and so full of happiness that it just seemed to spill over onto everyone (himself included) and he realized he always left work feeling happier when he worked with her. Yeah, Daryl Dixon liked her, but he wasnât fool enough to say anything about it.
~~~
âHey Beth!â Rosita called as the bar was getting ready to close down. âYou still coming over tomorrow night for movie and girlâs night?â
âOf course.â She smiled up at her friend as she piled empty glasses up on her tray. âIâll be finished here around seven and then Iâll come on by right after. Is that ok?â
âPerfect!â Rosita smiled. âI kicked Abraham out for the night so you wont have to worry about him for the evening.â She grinned. âCanât wait. Iâll see you tomorrow.â
âSee you tomorrow.â She picked up her tray and carried it to the bar, placing all the glasses into the sink filled with warm soapy water.
âYou goinâ out tomorrow?â She heard Daryl call from behind her. She looked up and saw him carrying a case from the storage room to the little refrigerator unit they had build into the shelving unit of the bar.
âOh yeah.â She paused. âI thought Dale told you. Iâm working the lunch and early dinner shift and then spending some time with Rosie.â She blinked. âIâll only be working half a shift with you tomorrow.â
Daryl kept his features in check. To say he was bummed would be an understatement, but he wasnât going to show that at all. âSounds like fun. What do you two have planned?â
âJust movies at her place.â She said quickly as she rinsed the glasses she was washing. âNothing too fancy.â She heard Daryl give an agreeing grunt from behind her and couldnât shake the feeling like he was down about something. âYou ok?â
âYeah. Just tired.â He said a little too quickly. She narrowed her eyes at him but didnât say anything as she grabbed and rag and started to wipe down the tables.
Beth clocked out promptly at seven and called out a quick goodbye to everyone inside the bar. She noted Daryl only briefly met her gaze, giving her a nod as she said goodbye, but didnât pay it much mind. She hopped into her car and made her way quickly over to Rositaâs house.
âAlright,â Rosita started as Beth walked into her apartment. âI have pizza in the oven keeping warm, wine in the fridge chilling, and the new zombie movie in the player waiting for us to hit play.â Beth grinned.
âLet me get out of my uniform and Iâm all for it.â Beth got changed and the girls hunkered down in front of the TV. Beth wasnât squeamish, or easily scared, but after the credits of the zombie movie rolled up the screen, she looked at Rosita with a pleading gaze. âCan we watch something a little happier now. I justâŚâ
âDefinitely.â Rosita agreed without Beth having to elaborate. They popped in one of their favorite romantic comedies and laughed and giggled through most of it. âSo, when are you going to tell Daryl you want to jump his bones?â
âRosita.â Beth hissed before she burst into giggles. âI do not want to jump his bones. I just like him.â
âMhm.â Rosita cast her an unbelieving look. âYou must like him an awful lot to start taking the closing shifts and work there full time for three years now.â Beth felt her face darken.
âI havenât been working there for three years because of him.â She said indignantly. She watched as Rosita gave her an unimpressed look. âAlright, at least not only because of him.â She sighed. âRosie, heâs a good friend, and you know me. Iâm too shy to say anything. He doesnât think of me like that. Iâm just a friend, and thatâs ok.â Beth knew sheâd only ever be his friend and coworker, and part of that rubbed her the wrong way, but she knew it couldnât be helped.
âWhat is it going to hurt if you just tell him?â
âGeez, I dunno. My job? Imagine working with someone you know has the hots for you but you arenât interested in like that? It would make things really awkward.â She recited almost as if sheâd had this exact same conversation with herself numerous times.
âI donât think so.â
âI do.â Beth said firmly, signaling the end of the conversation. Her eyes watched the movie disinterestedly as she rolled thoughts back and forth in her mind. Before she knew it her eyes felt heavy and she was drifting off to sleep.
Beth was following someone in the dark. She couldnât see his face, but she knew deep down it was Daryl Dixon, and she knew without a doubt, sheâd follow him to the ends of the Earth. Where was her family? Where were her friends? Why was it just the two of them? Deep down she had a feeling she was all alone now. She didnât have family anymore. Her friends were scattered. It was different now. He was all she had, and she was all he had now too. Â He was looking for something, somewhere. She watched as he pushed back the last few branches of the trees they were walking through. âFound somethinâ.â His raspy voice floated to her ears and she stifled the shiver that wanted to creep up her spine. She followed him, weighed down by a bag she hadnât realized she was carrying. She reached out to touch the white wood banister of the house now before her. It looked safe. It looked strong. They would be safe here, and she didnât know why, but that was most important.
âCome on. Letâs go look inside. See if anyone is inside?â He gave her a nod and helped her open the door, securing it when they were inside. âHello?â She called but froze when she heard him speak to her in that urgent voice.
âDonât go callinâ out like that. Donât know if there is anyone hereâŚâ
âCould be people hereâŚbut that donât mean theyâre bad people.â
âAinât no such thing as good people anymore.â She frowned as she watched him check the rooms in the dimming sunlight. There was an urgent feeling to secure the place before the darkness came.
She watched as the darkness engulfed the little house they were in and she quietly walked from room to room to find Daryl again. She found him in the kitchen, her heart beating a little easier now that sheâd found him. She sat at a table with Daryl Dixon, the room filled with candle light. She looked around the darkened kitchen. There were cupboards filled with food, the soft warm candle light lighting up the different labels. She had no idea why they would be holed up in this little bunker, but whatever it was she was comfortable. She looked at the spread before her, and wanted to giggle. Bottles of soda, peanut butter, jars of jelly, and bags of things she couldnât quite make out lay before her like a redneck buffet. She looked up at him as his voice broke the silence. âWe could stay here, yâknow.â She blinked at him. âWe can make it work if anyone shows up, but we could stay here.â She smiled.
âSo you do believe in good people?â He gave her the smallest of smiles as he looked at her and shrugged. âWhat changed your mind?â He looked down at the food in his hand and Beth was struck by how vulnerable he looked in that moment. He gave her a shrug.
âYou know.â He trailed off before his eyes landed on her again. Confusion hit her. This wasnât his normal demeanor. Sheâd never seen him seem so shy before. She continued to watch him, study him. âI dunno.â He finally finished.
âDonât âI dunnoâŚâ She mimicked him. âWhat changed your mind?â He stared at her and she took the opportunity to memorize his beautiful blue eyes. He really was a beautiful man. She knew that already, but seeing him so shy brought him into a new light for her. When he just continued to stare at her it finally dawned on her. She was the reason he believed in good people. She was what changed his mind. She meant something to him. âOhâŚâ She wanted to reach out to him and hug him, tough him, reassure him, but before she could make her heavy limbs listen to her something outside made a noise. They both jumped up and made their way to the door, both on high alert. Daryl opened the door and thatâs when fear began to course through her.
A mass of the dead swarmed the door, and Daryl disappeared from her vision. âDaryl!â
Beth sat up, breathing hard, fear freezing her whole body, and covered in a cold sweat. She looked around Rositaâs living room as she tried to calm her sleep addled brain. It was just a dream. It was all just a dream. Her family was fine, her friends were ok, it was all just a dream. Her heart was still beating rapidly in her chest. She wanted to call Daryl and make sure he was alright, but knew that she didnât have his number and calling the bar would just cause everyone to be concerned. She laid back down and stared up at the ceiling. That dream had felt so real. She felt like sheâd been all on her own, with no one but Daryl. But that had been ok. And then Daryl was gone, and sheâd been terrified. He had been such a constant in the dream. Sheâd felt it deep in her bones that nothing was going to happen to him. He wasnât going to go anywhere. To watch him disappear under that swarm of zombies-it made her heart clench and her insides grow cold. But it was just a dreamâŚwasnât it? Daryl wasnât going anywhere, her family wasnât going anywhereâŚwere they?
She turned her head to watch her friend sleeping peacefully on the couch. She needed to do something, and she couldnât do it here. She got up, gathering her things as quietly as she could. Gently she shook Rosita, âRosie, Iâm gonna head home. Iâll text you tomorrow.â She said softly and watched as Rositaâs eyes opened briefly.
âYou sure? You can just crash here.â
âNah, I gotta take care of some stuff in the morning, I just remembered. Iâll talk to you tomorrow. Sleep well.â Rosita shut her eyes.
âAlright. Talk to you tomorrow.â She smiled as she watched Rosita roll over and fall back asleep. She left quietly, closing the door with a soft snick of the lock, and got into her car. She couldnât sleep, and didnât really want to go home. She needed some time to think. Sheâd just drive around for a little bit.
Daryl wanted to hit something. It had been four days since heâd laid eyes on Beth and he was starting to get worried. She never missed work, and as far as the schedule was concerned she was supposed to be working tonight (as well as the past three nights.) Dale wasnât concerned. Sheâd called him and asked for a few days off but that was so odd on its own that Daryl wanted grab the man and shake some sense into him. He poured a mug of beer and all but slammed it down on the counter of the bar. He slid it down to Rick.
âWhatâs eating you, Daryl?â
âHeâs missinâ his favorite waitress.â Abe supplied quietly.
âI noticed Beth ainât been in for the past couple days. Everything alright?â
âHow the hell would I know? I ainât her keeper.â He snapped with a growl. âAccording to Dale, she took a few days off, short notice. Iâm sure sheâs fine. Ainât like I can even check up on herâŚnot that I want to, but I aint got a way to contact her.â
âHere.â Rick grabbed a paper card out of his wallet and snatched a pen from the bar top. He scribbled a few things down on the back of the card and handed it to Daryl. âIf you needed her number, all you had to do was ask.â
Daryl scowled at him and examined the back of the card like it had the secret to the meaning of life. He delicately slid it into his pocket, still pinning Rick with a dark glare. âIt ainât like that. Sheâs just a coworker.â Rick quirked an eyebrow.
âYou know, itâs ok to be worried about her, even if she is only a coworker.â He gave Daryl a soft smile. âSheâs special and sheâs a friend. Friends worry about friends.â Daryl gave him a nod but made no move to go call her. Rick took a sip from his beer, deciding not to push. Daryl was stubborn and unused to dealing with things like this. Heâd figure it out on his own.
âDaryl, is the set up ready for our Friday night entertainment?â Dale called from the back storage room. Daryl jerked his gaze back towards his employer.
âYeah. As soon as they show up itâll be ready to go.â The door creaked open and Daryl reluctantly drew his gaze to see who had walked in. He froze when his eyes spotted Beth, golden hair down and lightly curling around her shoulders. She was dressed in casual clothes, a pink sundress, light grey cardigan and her cowboy boots. He couldnât help the feeling of relief that flooded him, and he also couldnât help the frustration that followed quickly on its heels. Sheâd been MIA for four days and here she was, waltzing in like nothing had happened. Like she hadnât just put him through hell and back. So stuck on watching Beth he failed to notice the small group of friends following behind her towards the stage. He moved from behind the bar, intent on asking her what the hell was going on with her, until he noticed she was making a bee-line for the stage. He paused. Beth never sung in public. She was too shy. But here she was, dressed up, and stepping up on stage and grabbing the mic.
âHello.â She said timidly before she took a breath. âMost of you know me already, so Iâll make the introduction brief. Iâm Beth, and I usually waitress here, but today Iâm doing something a little different. I hope you enjoy!â Daryl watched, only just taking note of the rest of the band tuning their instruments and getting ready to start the set. The music started and Daryl felt like he knew the song, but he couldnât place it. It wasnât until Beth opened her mouth that it all clicked into place.
âYou're gonna run out of cigarettes
And we're gonna run out of wine
We haven't even started the good stuff yet
It's OK, we've got plenty of time
So pull up a comfortable chair, baby
And put on those records that drive me crazy
You look so good in this light
Oh yeah, you look like nothing but mineâ
Her eyes were closed, and she was so beautiful lost in the melody she was singing. His heart thumped heavily in his chest. He didnât understand what was going on, what had changed in her. She was almost glowing with an inner confidence heâd never seen before. She was so bright and alive and it almost brought him to his knees. If he hadnât been half in love with her already, this moment would have been enough to make it happen. Her blue eyes snapped open as the music swelled for the chorus and she was staring at him. There was no mistaking it. He watched her as her lips opened and she sang the song for him, to him. His heart quickened and he could feel the last few pieces clicking into place.
âI wanna love you like the world's gonna stop
Til the very last second, last tick of that clock
I'm gonna slow it all down and then take you from zero to ten
Oh, I wanna love you like I'll never love you againâ
Daryl was rooted to the spot as the song continued. Their eyes never broke contact. There was so much he wanted to say, but no clue how to say it. So he waited, and prayed that the words would come by the time the song ended. As the last chords sounded he was reluctant to move. He didnât want what ever spell had been woven to end. He watched as she put the microphone back in the stand and stepped down from the stage. His eyes darted to Rick but he was met with a small smile as Rick tipped his beer to him. She was standing in front of him when he looked back and again he marveled at how beautiful she was. Beautiful, brave and strong. So different from what heâd thought when heâd first laid eyes on her. She smiled up at him and motioned to the back so they could talk and all he could do was follow behind her dumbly. They wound up in the storage room just staring at each other silently.
âYou missed work.â He blurted, unsure what to say. She smiled and nodded.
âYeah. I needed to sort through some things. Figure some things out.â She looked down before looking back up at him. âI figured them out, so Iâm back.â He gave her a nod.
âYou sang.â His words sounded simple and plain to his ears (mainly because they were) but it was the best his spinning mind could come up with.
âYeah, that was part of what I had to figure out.â She took a deep breath. âLife is too short, and too beautiful to be scare or shy.â She started, faltering on her words a bit. âI decided I was done being scared and shy about singing in front of people. Iâm tired of being scared and shy about a lot of things.â She watched him carefully. âIt was hard at first, but you know what got me through it?â He shook his head. âI was singing to youâŚâ Her words were almost whispers, but he heard them. His gut twisted in that familiar way that had to do with everything that was Beth, and he knew it ran deeper than heâd ever imagined. âWhat did you think?â
What did he think? He didnât have words to explain what he thought. He was beyond confused about why such a beautiful, vibrant woman would want anything to do with him, an angry redneck bartender. Â She watched as his face changed subtly with each thought that floated through his head. Finally, his eyes landed on hers and she smiled up at him. With slow hands so he could stop her if he wanted (he had yet to really say anything to say he was ok with this) she stretched up and pressed her lips against his in a delicate kiss. She felt his hands slide around her waist and pull her closer to him. His lips danced with hers and it was a magical feeling.
When it ended all she could was look up at him with half-lidded eyes. âSo I take it you liked it.â She said softly.
âI liked it from the first time you sang during closing.â He mumbled as his cheeks turned a light pink. She let out a soft laugh. âYou know, if you wanted to tell me you liked me, you didnât have to get up on stage.â He rumbled and she looked up at him. âCoulda just told me.â She smiled.
âFine. Daryl Dixon, I like you.â She felt her cheeks heat up. âHonestly, I more than like you.â She felt his forehead rest against hers.
âWell, I more than like you too Beth.â He rumbled quietly. âI more than like you too.â And with that he kissed her again. Beth sighed into the kiss. She knew what ever was going to happen for them was going to be tough, and it was going to take work, but it was going to be worth it. She was done waiting for things to happen. She was going to give everything she has to make sure life was as exciting as it possibly could be.