#beth's diary

I wish I got a little more time with you.  Maggie was lucky ‘ta spend so many years with you an’ all I got was jus’ a few.  It ain’t fair the way life works, an’ I know if you were here right now, you’d tell me that I’d need to have a little more faith, an’ I really do, but Daddy, I miss you so much.  Ain’t I allowed ‘ta miss you?  I mean, I used ‘ta miss Mama too, but you were the one that was always there for me when I needed someone the most, an’ it really ain’t fair, Daddy.  I’ve been tryin’ ‘ta pray because I know that’s what you’d want me ‘ta do, but every time I do, it hurts...a lot.

How does he sleep at night? Mama, the nerve of this guy To leave me so easy Am I gonna be alright? I wanna kick myself for fallin' so hard Mama, can you die from a broken heart? Can your knees give out from prayin' so hard?  Can you go blind from cryin' in the dark? Was it ever really real If he don't feel like I feel?

hilltop is so different from alexandria.  maggie is a good leader, daddy would be prouda her.  i am.  but i just, i miss everyone so much.