#betareaders

✨ If you enjoy:

Gothic/dark fantasy

Complex characters

Family betrayal & power struggles

Atmospheric, historical settings

…you might enjoy reading this.

I’m mainly looking for:

What hooked you / what lost you

Which characters stood out

Any places where the story felt unclear or slow

If you’re interested, DM me and tell me a little about what you like to read. I’ll send you the first few chapters (PDF).

Thank you—it means the world to me to share this story outside my own head. 🖤

***

I am looking for some queer/WLW/sapphic readers to read an excerpt for a novel I am potentially working on.

The excerpt is quite short, as I would like to know if I have semblance of skill/knack for writing before I commit further to writing.

The “book” has no title presently

BE AWARE

As it is just an excerpt (488 words) I am not looking for professional beta readers just yet. Just looking for a group of peers in my community to see if they enjoy it! So if you are a professional who charges for your service I thank you for your interest, but my work isn’t near such stages.

Context for story:

Genre: romance and mystery.

Themes: Vampire, gothic, Queer, WLW, Masc MC.

The excerpt you will read is from the POV of Daphne who works for a national trust house as a tour/information guide (those not in the UK, national trust homes are historical houses owned by the trust that are used almost like museums. People can enter these historical homes by buying tickets, look around and learn about the history of the house and those that lived there.)

In the year she has worked there, she has developed an attachment and obsession for a particular portrait in the home.

In this excerpt you will read her describing and seeing the portrait.

If you would be interesting in reading this short excerpt please let me know! I am looking for the following feedback but I also welcome all comments and critiques that you may have.

Let me know:

- Were you able to follow easily what was being described to you and build an image in your head?

- Did you want to read on and learn more by the end of the excerpt?

- Did the sentences flow? Or were you tripping up?

- Was there adequate description OR too much perhaps?

- Was tense and punctuation used well and or incorrectly?

Please message or comment here if you would be interested in reading! I will happily email it over.

And thanks so much in advance.

…but when you read it later, something just feels off?

Sometimes it’s not a big problem. Just a line that needs softening, a reaction that feels a bit too quick, or a moment that needs more space.

Most writers go through this.

tropes include:

widower frank

childhood friends to lovers

If you need a beta reader, I'm available to help you Beta read.

You ever finish writing, close your doc… then open it again a few minutes later?

And suddenly you’re not reading it the same way anymore.

A line that felt strong now feels off. The emotion doesn’t hit like it did before. A character’s reaction feels slightly wrong… and you can’t ignore it.

That shift? That’s where your mistakes start showing themselves.

Every writer has that moment. The difference is who admits it.

If this happened to you today, don’t scroll past this.

Faelin and the Knight's Betrayal is a complete fantasy novel of 89K words with series potential. I am seeking people's opinions to sharpen this novel, no need to tell me what you thought of every line, just read and tell me what you think at the end :) Interested? Have questions but don't want to commit? No worries! Send me a message!

Summary👀🏳️‍🌈💚:

As punishment for saving her new-born brother’s life from her grief-stricken father, Princess Faelin thought she would live in banishment forever with only her loyal knight, Talia, and her own magical hair for company. That is, until Faelin’s father delivers an ultimatum; find her brother before her next birthday and deliver him back to her father’s clutches, or a Manucorum— a deadly series of trials for her hand in marriage— will begin. 

Faelin, content in banishment, struggles to choose between her brother’s freedom and her own. Desperate not to lose her, Talia convinces Faelin to find her brother, and with the aid of Faelin’s magic— and Talia’s swordplay—they do. 

However, despite her growing feelings for Faelin, Talia lets Faelin’s brother escape their capture when her loyalty is tested by someone from her past. In failing the king’s ultimatum, she and Faelin are both thrust into the Manucorum. They survive—not without eachother’s sacrifices—only to find their relationship twisting at the centre of a dark ritual instead. 

A ritual that demands Faelin’s life, or her brother’s.

A ritual that will tip Dominia into imbalance, and resurrect their ghoulish mother, who died so Faelin’s brother could live. 

With the Manucorum a farce, Faelin’s brother missing, and the reappearance of Talia’s street-rat siblings demanding her loyalty, Faelin and Talia must test their trust in eachother to the limit.