Have you ever wondered about how, in Mista’s backstory, he lives in this really nice, really big house and always eats nice food? And yet we’re led to believe he spends his days doing shit like mugging people who hate Clint Eastwood? Because boy have I got a theory for you.

And that theory is: Mista’s an orphan.

This theory came about due to me thinking WAAAYYY too deeply about the literal *crumbs* we get in terms of extra details regarding Mista's life, e.g.:

his canon living conditions before Passione (strangely nice)

the fact that he apparently just thugged around all day (mugging people who hate Clint Eastwood) before joining Bruno’s gang

the fact that he is canonically the “guy who hotwires cars” among our guys (as shown in Babyface)

the fact that, when Mista got arrested (in his backstory), he had NO family to bail him out or even visit him

and, finally, the fact there is no mention of other family or friends any time afterwards

Also, it’s really hard to miss how—throughout the entire manga—he treats Narancia, Fugo, Giorno, etc. like younger peers, in a way. He has this attitude that makes him seem as if he’s used to rowdiness and being around lots of people; i.e., he seems like the kind of person who grew up in a large house. Too large. Too many adults AND too many kids, all with their own bullshit complexes.

Okay so. Orphan Mista. I've been (over)thinking about this for years and it all just seems to fit.

First of all, an orphanage would explain the nice, BIG house we see in his backstory (which is the same in both the anime and manga), and the fact that he’s apparently well off enough to spend his days sleeping in late and being in appreciation of nice food, a roof over his head, and generally pleasant surroundings.

It fits his behavior that he isn’t rich at all, but not totally impoverished either (else he’d be more motivated to rise up by that fact).

I reckon the orphanage is also run by nuns, considering the bit in his character page about him “believing in god on a fundamental level,” his obsession with luck, and commitment to staying on fate’s good side.

His fatalism is reminiscent of a vaguely/culturally Christian upbringing—because while he's not all that religious, he still believes in some sort of higher power + a central force outside of his control. So, this speaks of his upbringing as being not so strictly religious, but more of having been around a bunch of people who ARE and being influenced by them BUT, crucially, without being forced into the same lifestyle.

This theory also explains strangely well the fact that, out of the members of Bruno’s gang, Mista is actually the only one who can be classified as a genuine thug through and through.

See, if he was an orphan, he should’ve gone to a public school up to high school along with others in his age group, and then been expected to find a job in preparation for leaving the orphanage once he turned 18 years old or something.

(And yes, I DO think he went to school—because if not, he would’ve been in the same boat as Narancia and I doubt it wouldn’t be brought up by Fugo OR Leone’s judgey asses. He can count, spell, read, think critically, and enjoy any type of art for any of the senses. He’s street smart! No need for any more excessive book learnin’!)

Anyway, the thing is, Mista’s a super carefree person, who only really cares about the simple things and isn’t the type to dream big or over-complicate his life. He knows exactly what he wants, his preferred food + fashion + tools + creature comforts.

AND he manages the Sex Pistols like people, earning their respect and cooperation through trust and treats.

AND he treats the youngest most neglected/abused/confused members of Bruno’s squad (Giorno & Trish) with absolute devotion and respect.

Never breaks boundaries or abuses or exploits. When he was in Trish’s body, he kept perfect focus on the mission without even a moment to spare messing/playing with the unfamiliar anatomy (made even more apparent by Trish’s choice of outfit then).

Meanwhile, Giorno trusts him wholly and IMPLICITLY, despite them only knowing each other for a few days, because not even once has Mista even tried to take advantage of him in any way. He just pulls all the triggers Giorno cannot—regardless of whether that hurts him personally... AND he complains but ENDURES Gold Experience’s excruciating healing. No pulling back and no shoving Giorno away no matter how much pain he’s in.

That is downright RELIGIOUS levels of devotion and faith and trust. That is love, in its own way. Not sexual, or romantic, or platonic, or any combination thereof. It’s just love. Capital L Love, which cannot be snuffed out by any capital punishments or stigmas or taboos.

Anyway. Back to the theory.

I imagine that even with the looming pressure of finding a job and securing his future post-orphanage, Mista never felt the need to stress about it because he KNOWS it’s better to just go with the flow.

He just does what he wants: beating up and mugging Clint Eastwood haters, taking inspiration from movies about trying to hotwire cars the very first time he’s confronted with the opportunity to do (and it’s in service to saving HIS gang), and occasionally screwing up his antics and getting beat up or spending the night in jail (but it’s cool because he’ll only bounce back and do the same shit again the next day).

And then, we have Mista’s absolute lack of family to be concerned for him when he gets arrested or any time afterwards. Building up on what I said earlier, if he grew up in an orphanage, it’s very likely he’ll just be kicked out once he turned 18. So, when he got arrested for his “3 counts of murder” at 17, they just left him to his own devices a bit early.

The authorities or guardians or other supposed adults in his life previously did not actually care about him, when it came down to it. Didn’t even seem to notice his absence + becoming a literal professional criminal.

Evidence of this: nothing holds him back from joining Passione at all. It’s like, there’s no hope whatsoever of anyone helping him appeal his 30-year prison sentence and taking Polpo’s test is his only lifeline. Also, in all his time in the gang, he seems like he has nothing else going on at all in his life other than being a gangster. He just *is* THE professional marksman under Capo Bruno of Passione—no one else, nothing else.

He goes along with Bruno’s every order, doesn’t even hesitate to join Bruno when he turns traitor (even laughs about it to Giorno like it’s such an easy and obvious choice, and even though he probably actually grasps the severity of the situation, he’s SO sure and SO committed to his choice that he can joke about it to try and lighten the mood for everyone else), and readily accepts his new position in Giorno’s inner circle upon him becoming the new Don of Passione.

The second-in-command. The most honored and most trusted. The only one the new Don knows would never betray him—because he has proven it already. In seven fucking days.

Someone with a family wouldn’t be THIS carefree about risking his life, much less be so singularly attentive + dedicated to his role in the gang. So, it REALLY irks me that a normal family seems to overwhelmingly be how fic writers and fan-artists depict him—because it makes so little sense, and it’s lazy.

A normal, loving family wouldn’t leave him to rot by himself in jail. A problematic home life, on the other hand, doesn’t add up with Mista’s core personality (simple-minded and carefree); neglectful or abusive parenting leaves scars and leads to troubled youth. Mista has neither of those as far as we’re shown.

Everyone else in Bruno’s gang has a specific motivation that ties them to the gang (Bruno with what happened to his dad, Fugo with his being indebted to the gang, Narancia with his sense of trust after being abandoned multiple times in his life, Abbacchio with his loyalty to Bruno, and finally Giorno with his dream to get rid of drugs). Meanwhile, Mista’s just kind of… there because he pretty much has nothing else to do, and he’s found his calling in shooting things anyway, so why not?

I’ve read the manga multiple times and there’s really no mention of Mista having any family or anything that could hold him back from what he does in Passione. I often see/hear Mista be described as the guy who acts most like a traditional gangster among Bruno’s gang, and I agree wholeheartedly with that!

Moreso, I raise: this is the kind of behavior/mentality of someone who’s always been fending for himself and 100% accepts it.

So no, he wouldn’t “groom” Giorno or Trish or anyone else. He has proven it by being Giorno’s most trusted AND being in Trish’s body and keeping perfect focus on his mission.

He’s their friend. A very special friend, who pulls the triggers they can’t, who must leave sometimes, but he always knows what’s happening. He watches. He protects. And, he kills—so Giorno and Trish and Fugo won’t have to, anymore. Won’t have to suffer and die like Bruno and Leone and Narancia and La Squadra and even Diavolo.

He is the regulator of fate itself. He is Fairness. Blind Justice. Angel with a Shotgun. Whatever.