#benjamin mckenzie

Ryan sighed to himself as he exited the pool house. He needed some silence to study for upcoming tests and, unfortunately he wasn’t going to get it with Seth right there talking his ears off about his latest drama. Although his quirky, talkative, and awkward personality had weirded him out at first, he learned to appreciate his friendship – but sometimes, like now, he could get insufferable. So, he grabbed his bike and headed to the school library.

He didn’t really feel like listening to Seth rambling about the new chapter of the Summer/Anna novel. He had a lot on his plate already, especially regarding his relationship with Marissa. It’s been a couple of days, but he still hasn’t recovered from all the chaos that Oliver brought into their lives. Thinking back about it all – how many times he had warned her (and everyone) that there was something off about that guy, only to have his concerns brushed aside – was enough to stir anger and frustration deep inside of him. He still couldn’t believe that Luke, of all people, had been the only one to back him up and had seen through Oliver’s web of lies almost as quickly as he did. And that was why he couldn’t date Marissa again – not yet, at least. Every time he looked at her, that pang of betrayal and resentment flared in his chest, refusing to go away.

Once he arrived at the library, he remembered he had to grab a history book for an assignment on World War II, so he rummaged through the shelves until he found it. However, he encountered something else. Or rather, he heard something that called his attention. He followed the track of voices until, in a secluded corner of the library, he saw a boy and a girl talking far too close for a casual conversation. At first, he thought about leaving the two of you alone – it was common knowledge that lots of couples used this library as a secret make-out spot, but, as the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat, so he ended up hanging around, hidden by one of the bookshelves. The girl turned her face over where he was standing, and he recognized her from school. You two had never actively exchanged words, but you had shared a few classes at Harbor School.

“Come on, doll”, the guy sneered, trapping your body between his and the wall of books behind you. You took a deep breath, wishing this interaction would end as soon as possible. “I missed you. I couldn’t believe you left without telling me.” His hands landed on the bookshelves, one on either side of your head, boxing you in.

“Jake, please, go away”, you pleaded in a defeated whispering tone but he didn’t seem to care at all.

“Now that I found you, I was thinking we could go to a motel. I saw one on the way out of the city”, he said leaning his lips closer to yours. “And, you know…”, the smile he gave you made your stomach churn. You felt you could throw up right there – not only because of the situation, but also because his breath smelled terribly. Before you could shove him away, he started kissing your neck with roughness.

That was Ryan’s cue to leave the two of you alone. Even though he couldn’t make out what you were saying, he had no interest in sticking around for what was about to happen. 

That was until he heard you scream and froze on his tracks.

“No! Get off me, you prick!” you yelled, struggling against him. Sadly, he didn’t even move an inch because he was stronger than you. Time seemed to stop at that moment and all you could manage to do was screaming. “Stop, please! Let me go!”

“The less you resist, the better, baby”, he grabbed you by your chin and you closed your eyes and your mouth into a thin line, imploring the ground to swallow you whole. “You might end up enjoying it.”

And just when you were about to give in, you felt a strong force yank Jake away from you. You opened your eyes slowly, too scared to move any other inch of your body and there he was.. your savior. Ryan Atwood. You knew him from school; you have crossed paths once or twice. Turning your head to the other side, you saw Jake sprawled on the floor.

“She said no”, he spoke slowly, but with a steady and threatening tone. If looks could kill, Jake would be burning alive. Ryan was slightly shorter than Jake but his toned physique made him look unshakable.

The tension in the air was thick, almost suffocating – like the humid air on a rainy summer day in Newport. You stood frozen in your place, unsure whether to move or speak, but Jake beat you to it.

“Who the hell are you, dude?” Jake retorted, getting back up on his feet. Ryan didn’t even flinch. “She’s MY girl and I can do whatever I want with her.” Most girls read these types of lines in books and think they’re sexy, but this was so not the case. Jake said it in the most disgustingly creepy and possessive way. “Besides, she has been begging for it… I mean, have you seen that skirt?”, he pointed his index finger at your bare legs, causing you to look down at your outfit and feel very self-conscious. “It’s basically screaming ‘Fuck me, I’m a slut’ all over this fucking place.”

“All right.”, Ryan nodded and clenched his fists. He wasted no time in delivering one single powerful punch to Jake’s face. The latter walked backwards, letting out a groan and grabbed his now bleeding nose. The blond jabbed his index finger at him. “Don’t even think of saying or doing anything to her ever again, you heard me? Or next time I won’t be so nice and I’ll kick your ass until you can’t walk. You understand?”

You were afraid that Jake was going to hit Ryan back – you could practically see the idea flash across his mind for a split second. However, he decided against it and then his eyes darted between you and Ryan before storming off the library.

You let out a deep breath, not realizing you have been holding it all along.

Ryan turned his frame towards you and for the first time your eyes locked. You hadn’t imagined they would be this blue – just as pretty as the ocean.

“You ok? Did he hurt you?”, he asked while scanning you with a hint of concern.

“I’m good now”, you gave him a weak smile. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, sure. Anytime”, he replied and started looking anywhere but your face as his regular awkwardness started to creep in. “Well…”, he cleared his throat. “Guess I’ll see you around", the right side of his mouth quirked up in a half smile and then he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

But as he began to walk away from you, an inner voice urged you not to let him go so easily. “Ryan?…Wait!”

He stopped on his tracks and turned around slowly, with a confused look on his face.

“I don’t wanna take up much more of your time but thank you… really”, you said the first thing that came to your brain. “You didn’t have to step in, you know? But I’m glad you did. So, yeah, thank you for saving me. That’s it”, you concluded your small rambling. It’s one of the things you did when you got nervous.

Ryan shrugged his shoulders with a carefree expression. “No worries really”. You noticed how his usual tough demeanor softened just a bit and how he gave you a faint grin. “Apparently, this is becoming my specialty these days.”

You let out a rather loud laugh at his comment because you weren’t expecting Ryan Atwood to crack a joke around you. You have heard stuff around school about what happened with Marissa, Oliver and him, so you had a feeling that it had to do with that. His lips curved into a toothless but sweet smile and then he made a goodbye gesture with his right hand and exited the library.

You stood there for a couple of more seconds, not fully believing what had happened. Then, you shook your head, grabbed your backpack and left this place as well.

Next Monday, you spotted Ryan sitting at the school cafeteria, focused on reading a book and scribbling notes. You debated whether you should approach him or not. You wanted to thank him once again and, if you were being honest, you wouldn’t mind getting to know him. He seemed really nice despite his tough and mysterious demeanor and also, he had recently joined the Newport community just like you, so you felt you had a bonding point there. You decided your next move was to buy two black coffees and made your way to where he was sitting.

“Hi”, you greeted him as you placed the drink on the table, careful not to spill anything on his stuff.

“Oh, hi”, he recognized you from the other day at the library, but you could see a hint of confusion in his eyes.

“I brought you coffee… as a thank you gift”, you pointed to the cup in front of him. “Hope you like black coffee, or americano, as people like to call it here”, you frowned your eyebrows.

“Yeah, I do”, he let out a small laugh. “You shouldn’t have, you know?”

You shrugged your shoulders, telling him it was the least you could do. 

“Thanks”, he grabbed the cup and brought it to his lips, sipping slowly in case it was hot.

“Uhm, do you mind if I sit here? I've got a free period now.”

“No, of course not”, he gestured to you to take the seat in front of him and you gladly did so. 

After taking everything you needed from your backpack and setting it on the table so you could review for your biology class, you started reading your notes. However, the minutes were passing by and your attention kept diverting to the boy in front of you. While finishing your own coffee cup, you found yourself stealing subtle glances at him, not wanting him to notice you were staring – and if he did notice, he was good at pretending he didn’t. He kept his eyes focused on the book and his notes, apparently not interested in making any conversation.

You knew he wasn’t the talkative type. You have seen him once or twice in the school corridors with Seth Cohen and it was obvious who wore the pants, conversation-wise at least. Seth would be animated, gesturing wildly, jumping from a topic to the other. Ryan, on the other hand, would simply listen quietly and at times, he would look confused, as if trying to follow Seth’s train of thoughts, but failing miserably. Other times, he would slightly narrow down his eyes, silently questioning himself whether Seth’s stories were worth the effort to untangle. And yet, there was a flicker of patience in his expression and always managed to find a witty remark, which resulted in Cohen scoffing.

Just as you were thinking of a question to ask him to break the ice, the school bell rang and he looked up, closing his book and grabbing the rest of his stuff.

“Sorry, I gotta go to class now, but thanks for the coffee”, he smiled at you one last time, not really waiting for your response, and got up to exit the cafeteria.

You stared at the empty spot where he had been sitting, feeling a mix of confusion and disappointment settled over you. So much for wanting to get to know him… You let out a deep breath and grabbed your pen, forcing yourself to continue working on the summary of types of cells of the human body.

In the days that followed, your interactions with Ryan remained minimal: a casual ‘Good morning’ when you entered the same classroom or a faint smile you’d give him from the opposite cafeteria table in those rare occasions when his eyes would meet yours. He was always looking down, focused on a book or playing with his food; or even when talking to Seth, he was always lost in his own world. Some days, you’d seen him exchange a few words with Marissa Cooper, but that was it.

You started believing he didn’t really care about making new friends. You didn’t take it personally though; he came from Chino and that wasn’t a great place to grow up. He seemed like the type who learned the hard way not to trust people so easily. And you had a doctorate on that topic, coming from a similar town. You were too familiar with building up invisible walls around yourself as a coping mechanism to avoid getting hurt. 

And then, there was the world of Newport itself – so polished, so privileged, so alien to all your previous life experiences. Therefore, you couldn’t really blame him for not wanting to make a connection with people that made you feel out of place, whether they wanted it or not. Still, you wanted to show him you were not one of those people. You saw pieces of yourself in the way he carried himself and perhaps that’s why there was something inside of you saying you couldn’t give up that easily. 

So, against all odds, you found yourself seeking out opportunities to spend time with him, hoping to break through his quiet and lonely demeanor. Every time you approached him at the cafeteria to spend your lunch break together and try to spark some casual conversation, he wouldn’t brush you off but his responses were politely short and hurried, no matter how much effort you put into finding topics you might have in common. In class, he didn’t seem to mind if you sat next to him. Some other times, you’d accidentally meet him at the library with the pretext of needing something that you actually didn’t.

However, after all the silent looks, shrugs, or the one-word responses, you started questioning if your attempts to befriend him were a mistake. Perhaps you were in the wrong. Maybe you had read too much into the day he saved you from Jake – maybe he just did that out of common courtesy.

So eventually, you started letting him go slowly; you didn’t wanna be a bother to him. You stopped seeking him out at lunch as often: you chose instead to sit with other people or sometimes you’d eat on your own. Whenever you did sit together in the classroom or at the library, you adopted a more reserved demeanor, not engaging much in conversations or just giving him a faint smile as a response.

And Ryan.. at first he felt indifferent at your change of attitude. He was used to being alone, to mind his own business. It was a lot simpler that way. He already had Seth, Marissa, Luke and even Summer and that was enough friendships for a lifetime in his books.

Or that’s what he thought…

After a couple of days, he started acknowledging the gaps you had left behind. He’d find himself scanning the school cafeteria, his food tray in his hands, trying to spot you. He couldn’t actually explain the pang of something he felt on his chest whenever he saw you talking or laughing with your other classmates. Or the smile you evoked on him whenever he came across at your cute concentration pout while reading a book or writing something on your notebook. Even the library seemed too quiet and empty. 

It wasn’t until the following weeks that he finally realized he missed you – even if he would never admit that outloud. It happened while he was hanging out with Seth in his room; he was rambling on about a comic he’d just finished reading, but Ryan’s thoughts kept diverting to you for some reason. He found himself thinking about what you could be doing at that moment and he kinda looked forward to the next day so he could see you at school. And that was when the truth hit him. However, you weren’t giving much more than the time of the day, so he had to do something to get you to talk to him or at least acknowledge his existence. 

The next day, in an effort to make amends for his past behaviour, he sought you out after the science class. He found you at your locker carefully tucking some notebooks, pens and your algebra manual inside your backpack. He didn’t put much more thought into his plan and walked towards you before he could get second thoughts.

You, on the other hand, were pretty much into your own head so the gentle tap on your shoulder made you jump slightly. But then, fear was replaced by surprise when you saw who it was. A rush of energy ran through your body. What was he doing here?

“Hi, Y/N”, Ryan started talking, as awkward as ever, and cleared his throat, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Uhm, I’m struggling with the analysis of To Kill a Mockingbird that Mr. Brown asked… would you mind helping me?”

It was a flat-out lie. Ryan had finished the assignment this weekend, but he needed an excuse to talk to you so that’s the best he could come up with. He distinctly remembered you mentioning once that Literature was your favorite subject, and although he hadn’t gone out of his way to interact with you before, he actually had listened to everything you’ve said to him. It’s just dawned on him now how much he did.

The surprise still lingered on your face for a couple of seconds, but almost instinctively, a smile formed on your lips. “Of course.”, the warmth in your voice caught him off guard. “Let’s meet at the library after school”, you gave him a quick wink and then gently closed your locker before heading off to your Maths class. Ryan was left standing in the middle of the corridor with a wide smile plastered on his face and a sense of relief rushed through him, assuring him that everything would be all right.

And that was the day where your friendship with Ryan Atwood finally began.

It was safe to say that Ryan and you became attached by the hip. You spent every chance you’d get together, but it wasn’t forced or anything like that – you simply gravitated towards each other naturally. No excuses or plans were needed.

Some afternoons when the weather was nicely warm, you’d go to the beach and share some sandwiches while you chatted about whatever came to your minds. You learned a lot about him, his life in Chino, his rough childhood, his early days in Newport, as well as his relationship with the Cohens and with Marissa. And, then, of course, he asked about you. You used to live in a town called Riverside with your mom but then she died in a car accident, and given that your dad has been MIA since you were born, your aunt Rachel became your legal guardian so you ended up moving to Newport with her. You also shared the story of Jake and you: long story short, at first you liked him because he was ‘a bit older and cooler’ but as you started hanging out with him, you realized he was bad news. Ryan gave you an apologetic smile, and you said it was ok, that you couldn’t really complain about your life here and that the quality of your friendships has clearly improved. He turned his head to the side and laughed but actually he wanted to hide the fact that his cheeks grew redder.

Some mornings, you’d join Ryan and his group of friends for breakfast at the Pier Diner. The first time oyu did so, you were worried that you were going to intrude, but Ryan assured you they were going to love you. Naturally, Seth did most of the talking, and that helped take some pressure off your shoulders. Watching him and Summer bickering was pretty amusing as well. You did receive some weird looks from Marissa but you decided to ignore her and keep enjoying the best pancakes you’ve ever tasted so far. Besides, Ryan had intertwined his hand with yours under the table to secretly show his support. You could say without a doubt that your heart stopped for a few seconds.

Some evenings, you’d wander aimlessly through the centric lanes, lost in your own little world. What seemed funny to you about your bond with Ryan was that although you shared really interesting conversations, you also found comfort in silence; you just simply enjoyed each other’s company. His presence soothed you in ways you could not explain – he made you feel peaceful and protected like you haven’t felt in a long time. One particular night, you were walking side by side while eating ice cream and you started feeling colder because the weather had dropped a few degrees compared to the warm afternoon so obviously you didn’t think it was necessary to bring a jacket but at that moment you cursed yourself mentally for not checking the forecast before going out. Ryan seemed to notice how you began to rub your arm with your free hand to get some warmth and how your lips adopted a purplish shade. (Not that he had already looked at your lips before. Or perhaps yes he did) So, he decided to take off his leather jacket and put it around your shoulders, causing you to sigh from relief. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt under it, so he would be fine. Without hesitation, you gave him a quick peck on his cheek to thank him and continued walking while you finished your ice cream cone. You probably did this without even realizing it, but Ryan had thought about that interaction for the days that followed and it never failed to make him smile.

The next day was a Saturday so you didn’t have school but you still had to run some errands for your aunt. You took advantage of the fact that you had to go out of your house and you stopped by at the Cohen’s house to return Ryan’s jacket. The previous night, you were so comfortable on it that you forgot to take it off when he walked you to your front door. And you figured he didn’t mind you having it either, but still. He wasn’t at home, but Seth was more than happy to pass the message along.

So, when Ryan came back, he was already waiting for him at the pool house.

“So, your new BFF dropped this off earlier”, Seth said, lifting the jacked with his index finger. “Care to explain what’s happening?”

“What’s happening with what?”, Ryan retorted, taking the jacket from Seth’s hand and putting it away in his wardrobe.

“Oh, come on, dude! What’s the deal with Y/N?”, he gestured widely, his movements too exaggerated. 

“There is no deal. We’re just... hanging out”, Ryan sat on the armchair opposite the bed.

“Oh, yeah, sure”, he continued and rolled his eyes “Because ‘just hanging out' involves spending every minute together, eating meals together, holding hands under the table – yeah, I saw that at the Diner – and emotionally charged silences”, he made a dramatic short pause. “That, my brother, is dating in my books”, he opened his arms as if he had just dropped a microphone. “I’m sure Romeo and Juliet’s epic love story started just like that.”

“Pretty sure that’s not how it went”, Ryan muttered slowly and then shook his head. “And we’re not dating. We haven’t even kissed yet.

“Aha!”, Seth exclaimed and got up quickly, pointing at his friend. “So you admit you want a kiss to happen…”

“I didn’t say…”, Ryan started, but he stopped himself, letting out a heavy sigh. He realized there was no escaping this conversation “I don’t know, she’s just someone I like hanging out with, She’s... easy to be around.”

“Someone hand me a tissue please. This is the most heartfelt declaration of love I’ve heard”, Seth quipped, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye. Ryan frowned and threw a pillow right on Seth’s forehead. “Easy there, Chino boy; no need to get violent… Look, I get it…”, he added, his tone softening, and sat right back on the bed. “She’s different from you-know-who.”

“And your point is?”, Ryan asked. Although he already knew who he was talking about, he just wasn’t following the connection between you and Marissa. 

He earned another eye roll from the youngest Cohen.

“That you don’t have anything to prove around her. She’s not some test or some impossible standard you feel like you need to live up to. You can just be yourself freely around her."

Ryan would never say it out loud, but what Seth said made sense. When he dated Marissa, he truly loved her, but it felt like he was constantly walking a tightrope—proving he wasn’t the bad guy, trying to win over her family, playing with fire just to get her out of any kind of trouble. And in the end, where did that get him? Absolutely nowhere except Pain and Heartbreak city.

"And as unbelievable as this sounds, because, trust me, I’m just as shocked as anyone else, she likes you for you".

“And how exactly do you know she likes me? Were you bitten by a radioactive spider and developed psychic abilities when I wasn’t looking?”

"Okay, first off, if I had superpowers, I’d definitely use them to swing my way back into Summer’s good graces. Second, I don’t need any arachnid senses, Ryan. It’s called observation. Trust me, the signs are about as subtle as the flashing neon billboards in Times Square."

Ryan frowned. "Oh, yeah? Well, enlighten me, Sherlock."

Seth straightened up, clearly relishing the moment. "Exhibit A: the way she lights up like a Chrismukkah tree every time you walk into a room? Very telling. Exhibit B: she’ll find literally any excuse to touch you—like that time at the diner when she ‘accidentally’ brushed your arm while reaching for the salt. Like, come on, dude, that’s textbook flirting. And Exhibit C: the other day when we were all hanging out at the pier, you cracked a joke that wasn’t even remotely funny, no offense, but she laughed like it was straight out of a Seinfeld episode. Meanwhile, I’m out here delivering comedic gold on a daily basis, and do I get that kind of reaction from Summer? Of course not. That woman has the emotional range of a brick wall when it comes to humor."

“Ok, yeah, enough irrefutable evidence and references to you and Summer”, he lifted his eyebrows in a sarcastic manner.

"And don't even get me started about you. I never thought I'd live to see the day where the Ryan Atwood gave someone the puppy eyes every time said person entered his field of vision. Honestly, dude, it’s both adorable and mildly terrifying." Ryan scoffed and Seth laughed victoriously. "Accept it, Ryan. I can read you like a comic book. It's all over the place; you two are in loooooove."

“You’re impossible…”, The blond got up from the chair and exited the beach house, leaving Seth alone with his own rambling.

The youngest Cohen watched his friend leave and let out a laugh. “Ah, denial”, he muttered aloud to the empty room. “Stage one of the Ryan Atwood romantic process.”

One not-so-random Saturday, you found yourself at home, pacing the floors with restless energy. Your aunt Rachel, a doctor at the Newport Hospital, had been called to work for an emergency surgery, leaving you alone with the daunting task of keeping yourself occupied. As usual, you had woken up feeling anxious, so you threw yourself into activities to avoid overthinking what day it was.

First, you caught up on your latest homework, then finished the book you'd started a month ago. You even cooked dinner and baked a chocolate loaf cake, despite not having much of an appetite. For a while, it seemed to work. But as the sun set and your body longed for sleep, you lay wide awake in bed, unable to quiet your racing thoughts. No matter how hard you tried, your mind kept circling back to that night — the one when your mum had been taken away from you. The monthly anniversary loomed over you like a shadow, heavy and inescapable. But before letting your emotions drive you to do something you might regret later, you got up from the bed and reached for your phone to call the only person who could truly comfort you in a moment like this. Of course Ryan wasn’t surprised about you calling him; you would talk on the phone quite regularly (Seth would grill him over this as well), but when you invited him over with a hint of sadness in your voice, an alarm triggered inside of him, so he said he would be at your house in a heartbeat.

And as promised, not even 10 minutes after your call, you heard him park the car outside your house. You’d been waiting for him sitting on the sofa so you opened the front door pretty quickly. He took an extra second to take in your outfit. Were you wearing a sweatshirt of his? When have you taken it? And not to mention, the pair of pijama shorts that barely covered your legs. Something stirred inside of him. You brought him back to reality when you greeted him with a hug. It was some seconds longer than those you’d shared in the past. And he also noticed how your eyes lacked their usual spark. This confirmed something was off with you. However, he decided to wait for the right moment to pop the question, or maybe, to wait for you to mention it.

You led him to the living room and picked up the TV remote so you could turn it on and check if there was anything interesting to watch. You dropped onto the sofa and glanced up at him, patting the spot next to you in silent invitation. Ryan couldn’t help feeling thrown off by your strangely composed demeanor, especially after the odd tone of your earlier call. However, he brushed his doubts aside and sat down where you had indicated him. You took the opportunity to scoot closer against him so your side was fully pressed against his and your head rested on his shoulder. Ryan tensed for half a second, unsure of what to do. It’s not like you two haven’t shared hugs or fleeting touches, but this was different. Cuddling was unknown territory. He stole a quick glance at you and, seeing that you didn’t seem troubled by the closeness, he relaxed. A soft breath escaped him as he wrapped an arm around your back. You’d caught him off guard, but the moment felt strangely comforting—like something he hadn’t realized he’d been needing.

However, in that glance he also noticed your eyes were fixed on the TV, but your head was visibly elsewhere. He could practically see the thoughts race in and out of your mind. 

“Penny for your thoughts?”, he asked softly, tapping on your leg with his free hand.

“Nothing really… I was just thinking”, you replied almost whispering, with the same expression.

“Yeah, I can see the thoughts race in and out of your mind”, he meant to say that as a joke, but when you turned your face in his direction, your eyes screamed with anxiety and sadness. “Y/N, are you ok?”

Your heart skipped a beat at his question. This was the moment you’ve been dreading – having to explain what was wrong. You had it coming, though. You weren’t doing an amazing job at being your usual cheerful self. You were just secretly hoping Ryan would mistake your behaviour for tiredness. But no, he read you like an open book.

“Uhm, yeah”, you bit the inside of your cheek hesitantly, unsure if you wanted to unload all the weight you’ve been carrying on your shoulders. Needless to say, he had become your person, your safe place. You knew you could trust him with whatever you wanted and he would still be there for you without judging.. But this… was not a happy conversation.. A knot tightened on your chest. You struggled with talking about your mom’s death because you felt that it made it feel more real… So, you put all the memories and feelings in a box and stored them in the basement of your brain.

Ryan knew you zoomed out again, so he decided to keep talking to you to keep you grounded. “Hey, you don’t have to tell me anything until you’re OK? Just know I’m here for you.”

You nodded at him, thanking him silently. But before doing anything else, you felt his hand wipe something off your cheek. A tear? You hadn’t even realized they were threatening to come out.

“Hey… come here”, he whispered softly and now he used his two arms to wrap you in a comforting hug. All the emotions you’d been suppressing the whole day came out to the surface and hit you like a trainwreck. “Shh, it’s ok”, he whispered repeatedly while gently stroking your back. Your fingers clutched at the fabric of his typical white shirt as he let you pour your heart out. 

After some minutes in the same position and now with your cries having subsided, you broke the hug and quickly wiped the remaining tears. He frowned his eyebrows at you, implicitly asking if you were feeling better. You nodded softly.

“Thank you”, you finally spoke, your voice coming out hoarse. “I’m sorry for spoiling your favorite t-shirt”, he looked down and saw how your crying had taken a toll on this piece of clothing but then he made a dismissive gesture with his hand.

“Don’t worry. You know I have lots of these”, he joked and you couldn’t help but laugh. It was true. You rarely see him wear anything besides white sleeveless tank top and dark pants. If the weather was colder, he’d take a grey shirt or his signature leather jacket. 

Ryan stayed there in front of you, studying your expression, and removed a loose strand of hair that had fallen before your face. He couldn’t ignore how beautiful you looked, even after crying your eyes out. His hand lingered on your face longer than it should, caressing your left cheek. You could feel your heartbeat quicken under his touch and the fears of showing him your vulnerability seemed to dissolve in the warmth of his gestures. He was about to open his mouth to say something, but hesitated, as nothing felt good enough.

Instead, he looked at you, searching in your eyes for permission he wasn’t sure he needed. The silence between you felt charged but it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. He saw how your eyes looked down at his lips and, unconsciously, you licked yours subtly. His breath hitched slightly.

His hand, near your face, grabbed your chin this time and he slowly leaned in, as if testing the waters. You gave him a small nod and didn’t take long for his mouth to meet yours in a tender slow kiss. The world around you seemed to stop and all the things that have been troubling you seemed to fade in the distance. Your hand instinctively reached up, threading softly through the short hairs at the nape of his neck. The kiss then deepened just slightly, enough for both of you to feel the unspoken emotions behind it. When it ended, his forehead lingered against yours, eyes still closed, as if cursing to himself that he had to stop to breathe. It seemed your lips were custom-made for his, fitting together in a way that felt both effortless and electric. 

He gave you another quick peck before his thumb started to gently trace the curve of your cheek.

“I have to admit,” you said with a playful smirk, “I like this method of comforting.”

A soft chuckle escaped him, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he looked at you with nothing else but adoration.

“You really are something else, aren’t you?”

you made it to the end, congrats! 💜 I really hope you enjoyed it and that it wasn't too long for a one shot. I have to admit I had fun writing it and trying to replicate the characters' personalities, especially when seth appeared.

this maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay have a part 2, depending on if it flops, lol.