@bemoremuse | Sid and Helio.
continued from "Let me stay here for a second.ā
He knew better than to just suddenly grab Helio like that. He knew and he didnāt care. It only made him even more disgusted with himself. How long was he going to be this ugly creature? Ugly, selfish, power hungry -- when was he going to go one day without looking in a mirror and seeing his father? He couldnāt even advise other people in the camp on something as simple as chores without feeling like that horribleĀ āmayorā. Ever since he had split his heart into the keyblade armor triggers, he saw it even more than usual.Ā
He had only split his heart by two pieces for crying out loud. He couldnāt have imagined three - though he would have rather saved Mari the pain of going through anything similar that he was.Ā
He doesnāt care that Helio had messed his hair up, when the embrace was even slightly returned Sid found himself gripping Helioās arm tighter. He couldnāt tell him. He couldnāt tell Helio about the fact he had split his heart in pieces. He couldnāt tell him how he felt like he didnāt belong here, or anywhere. Even if he wanted to, he couldnāt. His throat might as well be as dry as the desert surrounding them (and for once it wasnāt because he had given away part of his water ration to the younger teens in the camp - though he had definitely done that today).
When Sid finally pulls his head up off of Helioās arm, he reveals the fact that heās not hiding behind his sunglasses right now. His hair isnāt even braided, and the long lock he normally did so with was pushed behind his ear - leaving his brand in full view. In short, heās a mess. He normally covered these things up for a reason. But the more the day went on, the more he just couldnāt find the strength to pull himself back out of the box that he had been confined to all of his life. He was retreating, he was cowering, back under the mask his parents had made for him. Darkness was finding ways back into his heart to fill the gaps there. He knew that and yet....
āThanks.ā He mumbles finally after a long beat of silence.Ā āAnd sorry.ā Thereās another uncharacteristic apology as Sid slowly pulls his hand off of Helio. āI....just had a nightmare, was all.ā Not entirely a lie, he had a nightmare last night. Though he knows that wasnāt entirely the problem. But it made for a good excuse anyways.Ā