Number 10 for bemily angst
10. “You know damn well why things are the way they are.”
Emily never has and never will cheat on someone.
But she’s never stopped to think about whether she’d sleep with someone who’s in a relationship.
It’s not cheating, technically. But it feels that way.
Hearing Beca sneak out at three in the morning or watching her text her boyfriend an excuse for why she’ll be home late makes Emily’s stomach twist with guilt.
But she’d rather have this little bit of Beca, in secret, than not have her at all.
It’s another one of those nights where Emily wakes up to find Beca hastily throwing her clothes back on, searching for a sock with only the light of the moon to guide her.
“Bec?” Emily asks sleepily, rubbing at one eye.
“I gotta go,” Beca says, sitting on the bed to tie her shoes. “Jesse’s working the night shift so he’ll be home in a couple hours.”
“Stay for a little longer,” Emily says, reaching out to touch Beca on the arm.
Beca turns and braces herself on one arm so she can give Emily a lingering kiss, cupping Emily’s cheek with her other hand.
“I can’t,” Beca says when she pulls away, not meeting Emily’s eyes.
“Come on,” Emily cajoles, sitting up. She doesn’t bother covering her bare chest with the blanket. “You always leave in the middle of the night.”
Beca closes her eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath.
“You know damn well why things are the way they are,” Beca says lowly, standing up.
Her words feel like a knife to Emily’s stomach, but Beca has always had the incredible ability to rip Emily to shreds and then expertly stitch her back together again.
Beca goes to open the door, but pauses with her hand on the knob.
“Don’t make me choose between you and Jesse,” Beca warns her, eyes hard, “because I will choose him.”