#belladolphus

Bellatrix Black Lestrange and Narcissa Black Malfoy

Voldemort not having sex with Bellatrix, being in a relationship with her, and being more attached to her than he's ever been to anyone.

The Black Sisters being abused.

Bellatrix being overly selfless towards her sisters. Yes, she loves them but she also does not mind hurting them and that includes Narcissa.

Belladolphus being a sexless/loveless/cold/lavender marriage, Rodolphus being abusive, or Bellatrix hating Rodolphus.

Katie McGrath or Eva Green as Bellatrix! Please no!

Bellatrix not being the most magically powerful woman in the Wizarding World as well as incredibly smart and/or Bellatrix being jealous of Snape in Spinner's End instead of seeing through his lies.

Bellatrix and Voldemort not being incredibly rich, complex, and well written characters.

Bellatrix having straight hair, grey eyes, hooded eyes, a shaved vulva, small breasts, or being any height other than 1.75 m/5'9".

Bellatrix being cold, aloof, or asexual. Just read the books, people!!! Can't believe I even have to say this.

Voldemort ever truly truly liking Snape, trusting him, or Snape being his favourite. Was he the most useful in the second war? Yes, but that does not make him the favourite nor does it mean Voldemort truly liked him.

Voldemort caring about Nagini on a personal level/beyond her usefulness. Come on, lol. He barely reacts when she dies and is only shown using her for pragmatic reasons. I'd never treat my baby kitty the way he treated that poor snake.

Voldemort hating his mother.

Voldemort not hating Muggles and Mudbloods and not truly believing in the importance of blood purity.

Narcissa being the most beautiful Black Sister because she's a blue-eyed blonde (the colourism!) when canonically a bad expression was enough to ruin her nice looks but Azkaban wasn't enough to ruin Bella's great good looks hahahaha.

Walburga physically abusing her sons.

Lucius being obsessed with Narcissa. It was clearly the other way round.

Draco liking Narcissa more than Lucius.

Harry being buff or any taller than 1.72 m/5'8".

Tall James Potter.

Short Sirius Black.

The Marauders being a healthy, loving friends group.

Rodolophus is the man of the family, that's how he was raised and bred to believe and act, he should have all the power except the moment Bellatrix prettily demands (because she doesn't ask) something, he goes weak in the knees and goes to fulfill her demands, no questions asked. He behaves like all patriarchal heads of the family but he has never successfully been able to say no to her.

Ted Tonks, without meaning to, became Andromeda's stalker because he didn't have the guts as an average man to go up to a beautiful woman like her and even talk to her. It took him about three years of just pining quietly and admiring her beauty secretly for him to gather the courage and just, greet her, and that was before he managed to even look her in the eyes.

Lucius has his masters degree or whatever the equivalent is in the wizarding world, he earned business deals that grew his already existing wealth, he has influence that can shake the ministry but none of those achievements compare to getting Narcissa to accept his marriage proposal. Their marriage certificate is literally hung on their main walls in expensive silver frames and protection charms all over it.

Sirius mostly keeps to himself and his small circle of friends, constantly has a resting bitch face, is clipped and rude to anyone he doesn't have patience for, has a well known dark history of being in fights and assaults and yet, he's still considered a beloved sweetheart, the most sought out bachelor. Whoever is shipped with him, honestly good luck because they'd have to fight against literally everyone just for 5 seconds of his attention. And then once they do have his attention, nothing would give them that same high.

Regulus is slightly more reachable compared to the rest of his family but his introverted self is even worse than Sirius. Despite never being known to have close friends or rarely seen in public, basically nothing of him being public knowledge, he still has heads turning whenever he enters a room, like he has influence and power even though he really shouldn't. Whoever is shipped with him, again good luck trying to seduce a guy that can easily become the main attraction just from entering a room.

bellatrix: awww