#beingstupid

me:where does black oil come from?

intellectual:black oil can resemble petroleum bu-

Rebound

Song: Lenka - The Show

      After travelling around the world for a brief year, I’ve come back to Vancouver to finally confront what I should do going forward.

      I’ve decided to start from the ground up, meaning a new place to live, a new job, and another round of schooling to get into a career field that I wished for. During my travels, I’ve decided that computer science is what I enjoyed studying and building web related products at the startup was the most fun I’ve had while working, and that was what I wanted to pursue going forward.

      My second round of schooling was unexpectedly difficult. For one, I’ve noticed that my memory retention was not a good as the younger students, and materials being covered in computer science courses are vastly different compared to behaviour research. Things were looking grim with each semester coming and going.

       “Getting too old for this sh*t”

      One summery day, in an ‘ex Machina’ moment, the fire alarm went off in the middle of lecture, and in the commotion, I met Aya for the first time. We had a lot in common and it wasn’t long until we were a couple.

      The summer’s final exam came and went and I’ve received and email regarding my application for the computer science program. It had a devastating effect on me, and I started to break down during work and I walked out claiming sick. I clenched on to my phone, looking for some sort of reassurance, I decided to call Aya.

“Hey babe, aren’t you at work?”

“I was, but no…”

“What happened? You don’t sound ok.”

“I got an email from school.”

“Oh, about that application? What did it say?” She asked politely, trying not to jump to conclusions.

“It’s over. I’m done. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“I’m so-So-SO sorry about that babe, where are you right now? I need see you.”

“No I don’t think I can show you my face right now… You know the weird thing is, I don’t really care about what happens at school anymore, I’m more afraid that you’ll leave me if I don’t get in the program…”

      There was a brief moment of silence before a ‘megaphone-esk’ voice started to pound on my ear drums.

“SHUT UP! LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY. I love you very much, I don’t care what you study or where you study. I am not and never will be disappointed in you for not being able to get into a stupid school program. This is more insulting to me, why would you think I would leave you for such stupid reasons?”

“It’s just that... I wanted this so much and I somehow thought that my success is intertwined with our relationship. I’m sorry.”

“Good, my stupid baby <3. Don’t confuse school with what you ultimately want in life. You got amazing programming skills, I’ve seen it, go work on it, you’ll find a job. Now meet me in downtown, I’m hungry.”