#beginnertarot

January 5th 2021: Tarot Reading

Shown above is my tarot reading for today, January 5th, 2021. I laid it out with the intention of knowing something I needed to know today. It started out as a one card reading, the Page of Swords reversed, but I needed clarity so I drew a second and even third card ending with (from left to right) The page of swords and knight of wands in reverse and four of cups. These are all cards of the…

I have been absent from this page for a long time but I have continued to pull cards (almost) every day. It got a little crazy there at the end of the school year.

This morning I decided to do a little three card check in with myself. Recently, I have been really frustrated with how much I feel like I am existing for the sole purpose to give to others, and I’m feeling nothing in return. Lots of thank you’s, sure. But my life is stagnant and unchanging and I’m tired of putting my effort in elsewhere. Do I feel an incredible amount of guilt for this? You betcha. At this point, I can’t ignore it. And I keep putting off change like, next year or right after this... and maybe I need to listen to this feeling and also my readings. For months now I have had readings and horoscopes tell me that big things are on the horizon. At first, I was like, oh do I just wait for that to happen or when will this be coming to me. But, maybe I have to make it happen. (If you’re reading this you’re probably rolling your eyes at this realization). I always thought that tarot and horoscopes tell you what will be put in your path, but I think I need to look at it more as a door opening, and I have to be the one that puts the effort forth to walk through it.

So, for the cards listed above, I have the queen of wands in my past. I didn’t look up any of these meanings, I need to try and derive meaning from within me. If I’m stumped I’ll go back and look. But, this one was clear. In the past I have had this identity of really being secure. I have built what I built at my job. I have my cat at my feet. A cute little sunflower as my septre. But im looking to the side like, what else is there? Or what’s next?

Present: the ten of swords. Yeeeep. Feeling unease. Restless. I am equipped with 10 swords. So I feel like this is showing that I am equipped and I’m ready for the battle that lies ahead whether that be the hard work of moving or looking for a new job or whatever it is. I almost feel like of course I want a relationship but I feel like I can’t even think about that if being in erie isn’t right for me. So we are in a low, even though most days I feel fine.

Future: the empress. WELL SHIT! I think if I go through with looking to change up my living situation/LIFE, I could have everything I need! I will have become the empress of my life! I just looked at the card for some clarification and it said fertility and pregnancy HAHA. While that scares me, I have been talking a lot about motherhood with people. Whether I have a child myself or not, maybe that is in my future. And I’m ok with that. I love my nieces and nephews, I love my friends’ babies. I would like the opportunity to put a good human or two on the planet.

(Belated)

April 20: Seven of Pentacles reversed and Ten of Wands.

Almost every day I have a card that jumps out at me. I don’t know if I’m just being more careless or what, but that card will be listed first. Pentacles usually mean money (apparently) so since this is reversed I would assume it means I’m losing money - which is true. Blew through that stimulus check. And that was true when I had to move some money out of savings because I was just hitting it too hard. But I did buy some things I need. The iPad was a purchase for me, but I think I can make a return on my investment if I work at it.

Next, the wands. I’m still not super familiar with wands and swords. He is struggling to hold these wands up. Its representing a burden he is carrying. It’s showing hard work. I think that it was representative of how I’m carrying a lot of things that are making me sad nd it’s weighing me down (about school) but we have to press on.

April 19: Queen of Swords reversed.

Okay, I want to first explain how things went this morning. I will always see the card that jumps out of the deck, if that happens. So today Queen of Swords feel out and landed reversed. So I listened. But honestly, it didn’t fit my day. You can see what it means above.

So just for kicks, I checked what card I would have drawn: 8 of Cups reversed. It sounded much more like the vibe I have been feeling and what I felt when I woke up this morning.

April 17: Five of Swords - bonus draw because I did not accept the negativity: Two of Cups.

First of all let me say I am finally getting cards thay are not reversed. The man is looking back at the two men who are scattered. It seems like destruction and just not pleasant. The facial expressions of the men’s faces that I can see are kind of deviant but worried. It seems like the farthest one away made a mistake. The one closest is smirking. I just don’t like the way it looked. If you see the description from my app and also read what I wrote last night. It makes total sense. I was carrying all this anger into today. I know that’s not healthy and that’s not something that I do anymore. I was feeling stupid and used and did not want to be another fucking joke!

So I didn’t stand for it and I wanted to change my outlook for the day. What I love about tarot is you can seek what you want. If you need more clarification, all you have to do is ask! So for my next card...