To love me you must know I have already found your ex from college on instagram. I have already found the accounts that she no longer uses, the ones she stills follows your old account on. The ghosts of yourselves.
I will do this when I am bored and unsupervised at work. I will do this when I am wine and tequila drunk and you are in another part of the state. I will do this and I will love you fiercely.
So much love, I don't know where it comes from. I don't like thinking about her and the other women you've known but I still love you more than I have words for. More than I could ever tell you. And I stop looking, each time I do decide to pull up her account, because I remember that it really doesn't matter. I love you like I've never loved before.
You love me hard. You may have loved hard before, and you may have for longer, but you have not loved me before. And maybe that's all you were missing before you met me.
Maybe it didn't work out before because you hadn't found someone who loved you in the way you needed to be loved. Maybe it didn't work out then because it was supposed to work out now. Maybe it wasn't her because she wasn't me.
I am lucky to have met you when I did, exactly as you are. Something in me recognizes something in you. Let's not be ghosts. I'm going to text you goodnight and shut off my phone.

















