#beepzwritez

Jamies been un-presented pretty much his whole life, or as he thinks...hes just a beta. His scent is more neutral, never had a head or rut, and his sense of smell just isnt that good to begin with, so clearly hes a Beta. Its not like hes got a problem with it, hes lived, breathed Trevor for years. Living together with someone whos as open as Trevor gets him insight to heats hes glad he doesnt have to deal with—the pain and aches and heat fatigue that Trevor deals with. Really, being a Beta makes it easier to bring him water and snacks without it being a whole big deal. Trevors scent is just strong enough that he knows its him, can tell when its the slightest bit sweeter for heats—thats about it.

He didnt expect anything to change drastically after almost 2 years of separation and then Trevor getting Traded to the flyers. He was even fine when he went to visit new york, Trevors scent being completely gone from the supressents hed seen in his bedroom on his dresser. He would be going off of them during the season, he was just having trouble his cycling, nothing to worry about is what Trevor had told him. The faint although faint was still missed, Trevor was missed, but hes got him back now. It makes something in Jamies teeth ache.

So, the months pass, shoulder check, training camp, the first game of the season—Trevor and him being on the same sheet. Its good, its great. Having Trevor back by his side, preparing for the season right next to him, where the quietness in his hindbrain lights up the loudest its ever been with, "Perfect." The puzzle peices sliding into places with ease. He just doesnt expect the next week when Trevor finally goes off surpressents for it all to change.

He wakes up with his gums aching. Like he was at the dentist and theyd been poking and prodding at the sensitive flesh with the sharp tools like the way his brain would prepare for happening but never did. The faint metallic taste his mouth that he knows theres some blood hes taking in...and the unexpected sharpness pressed against his tounge, catching his lip when he closes his mouth quickly in shock. He had, canines. Not the dull, barely sharp ones hes grown accustomed too. Beta teeth werent the sharpest, but these were genuine canines. The quick look in the mirror confirmed it, a little cut on his lip to go with it. The metallic taste didnt disgust him as much as it wouldve before, which seemed weird, its not like he had an aversion for blood before but its almost good.

Shaking off that thought is easier said then done as he gets ready for practice, no game today just a simple optional—Trevor wants him there, so hes going. Its never easy being the new guy, even if Trevor is sliding in easier than he had.

While looking in the mirror its all he can think about. He just cares, cares so much it makes something stir low in his gut at the thought of Trevor wanting him there to break the ice—needing him to feel just the slightest bit better. He knows the season had been hard, a much sharper, heavier cord is struck in Jamies brain that he kind of likes it that way. Likes when trevor needs to rely on him, helpess and vulnerable —it throws him for such a loop that he almost trips on his way out the door. He wouldnt ever want Trevor to suffer just so he could be the one to save him, its ridiculous to say, its ridiculous to think. It persists to the front of his brain driving to the rink.

The teeth, the blood, the fact that his brain wont stop putting Trevor moping and needing him in the brain, still doesnt tip anything off. Its just a weird day, hes always been a little weird about Trevor. So what.

Walking into the locker room, bag slung over his shoulder, stepping inside seeing Michkov, smelling him more than he ever could, a weird sweetness with charcoal scent, then Tk, Foery, and then Trevor, the usual faint sweet citrusy scent gets stuck in his brain—fixating on it. Picking it out the most it makes his mouth water. Stopped in his tracks as he watches Trevor look at him, his smile wrinkling as he gets a whiff of something in the air, the way his lips part, pupils dilate. He notices it all, he doesnt know what he smelt, he cant care. Have the other smelt it too? Hed turn his head but if he looses sight of Trevor he might die. Dramatic much is what his brain supplys, the last most of lucidness before it all goes fuzzy. He doesnt even remember how, just hears the his bag drop and then hes all up against Trevor, only knows its Trevor cause hes right up against the source of his scent. The nosing against the gland, licking, biting, hands around him maybe—he cant tell. Does it matter, palms sliding up against the warm skin under Trevors compression shirt. Jamies pressing his teeth to Trevors nape, his canines. Thats what theyre their for his hindbrain reminds to get into trevor and bitebitebitebite, feel the warmth of his blood seep onto his tounge as a bond takes place.

Hes pulled away by someone. He growls, since when does Jamie growl? Jamies a sweet beta, someone who doesnt speak out of line, doesnt care of the hierarchys of the locker room like that, just listens to his Cs and As. So when he hears Tks voice, the obvious dynamic put into it, for him to "sit down." He snarls, he bares his teeth to challenge cause who does Tk think he is to put himself between Jamie and his omega? Trevor needs him, Hes Trevors alpha—the thought crossing his brain snaps him out of it a little, confused by his own brain, wondering where it all came from. Hes not an alpha, he sure isnt Trevors. His breathing rapid, hes on the floor, Tk standing over him. Senses returning to him as he becomes aware of the drool on his mouth, sticky and sliding down his chin. Hes...embarrassed to say the least. Looking behind Tk to Trevor whos compression shirt is halfway ripped off, theres teeth marks under his jaw, darkening marks on his collar bone and neck. Looking at him like he just grew another head, but he can smell the fact that hes turned on. Jamies never been able to tell that before, never had senses that sharp. Like he one too deep breath from blacking back out and going to his omega Trevor.

Hes hard, which might be the most embarrassing part of the whole ordeal as he shoves the zip up he was wearing down a little. Finally accepting the hand from Tk, ducking his head as he catches his breath without breathing in through his nose too much. Are apologies correct in this situation? What even is there to do when he just tried to go for the Nape on his best friend. He wants to go back home, knock himself in the head for him to think about the fact he grew a sharper teeth and felt so different the entire morning couldve been something was wrong with him.

Jamie is escorted out by Tk, even though he hasnt to be practically shoved out. Eyes tracking Trevor up untill the moment he leaves the locker room. Tks got his bag hes pretty sure, he doesnt care that often. Just misses Trevors scent, his skin, the way the slight curve and fat of his chest felt in his palm while he was touching him. Hes shoved into one of their physicians rooms with a huff from Tk. Who still hasnt left, like Jamies a newly presented pup at 16 that needs to be rut guarded and slathered in scent blocker to block out how strong their scent starts off. And by how Tk is actually covering his nose, he mights need to.

What the hell is going on with Him? Thats whats going through his brain when hes sent home with nothing more than a, "we will run some tests! You could've just presented!" Like that answers any of his questions. Jamie was a beta, last night. Was a beta for 23 years of his life, what do they mean by, "late presenting." Who presents at 23? He wasnt holding out for something special like some people do, the ones who want a peak of dynamic life. He was fine with the peak ins of Cam getting angry and irritated close to pre-rut and Trevor getting more attached to him during his pre-heat. He wasnt obsessed with being anything else.

And now he was.

He doesnt get to participate in anything other than games and practices where hes seperated from everyone and lathered in scent blocker because to quote cam he, "smelled like a pup who doesnt know how to control himself." Which, rude. Jamie was a grown ass man—and, and...he does keep blacking out during games and finding himself near Trevor. Hovering close, someones always got a body between them for safety reasons. The physician said something about, imprinting and accidental bonding may happen but he wasnt paying attention. He just got so sad he couldnt be near Trevor, but Trevor texts him daily. He still wants to get his teeth on him, bite into the meat of his thigh till there was a permanent scar and everyone would know if Trevor let anyone else between them, that jamie was there.

God isnt that the weirdest part, other than the blacking out and being in some rut-like induced haze its the fact that so many of his thoughts are instinctually charged. Sometimes you wonder when youre a beta, what you might be like if you were an A or and O, and jamie indulged in the thought once or twice. Thought hed be a respectful alpha, a kind omega. And maybe thatd be true if hed presented ar 13 like the rest of everyone.

But sitting in his room sniffing a blanket Trevor used twice last month and finding out that his knot his huge and feels weird and good when he sqeezes it out in his hand—he feels like a knothead. The ones hes heard Trevor complain about over the years, feels so shameful even if he wont stop over it. He'll make a mental note to pray for forgiveness or something a little later...hes imagining the soft skin of Trevors tummy and his neck soaking in the scent of his cum is currently at the forefront of his mind.

So hes not allowed around Trevor right now. Which really sucks, its not like hes blacking out at the scent of tyson. Its just Trevor. But hes getting little texts in the morning from Trevor like.

"I hope youre doing ok jimmy, 🧡🫶🙌"

"Morning jam, miss you at practice, text me when youve eaten 😛"

Or the occasional weirdly invasive questions that would be bad if it wasnt trevor,.

"What do you think you smell like i only got one good whiff b4 they rubbed you down in scent blockers:((((((((??" (Jamie doesnt know, not really. He just presented his scent hasnt reached his own nose, doesnt know what he smells like ever.)

"Is it weird?? I feel like id freak if I suddenly just went all alpha. Like surpisee you can knot!!" (Jamie had to put his phone down thinking about Trevor and knot in the same sentence.)

And then

"I want a jacket with your scent on it, would that be weird?? Miss u bud"

Jamie has to locks his phone so he doesnt do anything bad when trevor says something that tips him off in any way. So he doesnt type something straight out of those A/O books written by a beta whos never seen or interacted with a Dynamic before, so basically jamies entire life up untill this point.

Theyre trying to find some low dose suppressants, just to regulate some of the hormones till summer when he can deal with it fully—but for now hes stuck with blacking out on ice when some dickhead alpha on the Sabres knocks trevor clean off his feet and boards him. Almost jumping out if it werent for the fact he was held down so well.

It puts him out of it so bad hes shaking, canines dropped and salvia filling his mouth during the remaining play. Only clues back into his body during second intermission. Trevor looking at him concerned eyes, like he wants to help. And god, jamie knows Trevor wants to help, always does.

Which is probably why after the game, Trevor pulls him away from his own car, breaks alll rull and lets Jamie scent him in the player parking lot when everyones gone home. Surpiseing less feral than the first. Hes mellowed out between then and sniffing trevor out when hes in bed. Its still so good, addicting, and hes so greedy cause he only wants more when listening to Trevor whine as his head his tipped back for him to nose at his gland, hand tightly gripped on his nape, scruffing him still while he gets his fill. It wont ever be enough, never, ever.

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I think Trevor likes to pull away when he's upset or said. Takes the time to himself to get back to his usual self so he doesnt accidentally snap at someone who doesn't need to deal with it, hell get mad at himself before getting mad at another person like that.

But, it comes with a huge problem of when he feels like he's in a space hes over stayed his welcome. He will self isolate, hell keep quieter, even if subtly hell keep his hands to himself, and hell keeps the running thoughts of that anxiety to himself while he's careful.

He doesn't do it a lot in anaheim, maybe a little when everything was fresh with jamies injury—but they were solid, he could securely think that he wasn't ruining things but just being there. It's just an old habit he runs to like he did when he was a kid, nothing more.

Jamie just has to learn about it the hard way, first of course. He likes to pride himself in the calm he can keep, but when he does get frustrated...most times, it's some rude comment if he feels like someone's getting in his way, bothering him, just being too much in the moment. It always hurts the most for Trevor the most. jamie knows him best, jamie knows how to build up up then bring him down just as easy. Even if it doesn't mean the things he says and apologizes later.

It's different when jamies is mad in general vs. when trevor feels jamies mad at him.

In the unnatural quiet of their house, he will realize he hasnt heard anything from Trevor in hours. He hasn't heard a song. He's been playing on loops, hasnt heard Trevor talking to himself while doing something, and he should be paying more attention too—its silent. He hasnt even seen Trevor, he hasnt been downstairs since jamie saw him go up when the sun was still high in the sky.

Trevor? Trevors sitting in his old bedroom, the one he was in before he had unofficially moved into jamies. Panicking, terribly. Like, I can't sit still, but his legs hurt from pacing around the room Panicking. He's safely tucked away so well he definitely won't make jamie mad more upset anymore. He doesn't really want to be in this room, but if jamie wants to go to bed and doesn't want to see trevor, then this is simply how it's gonna be. Trevor feels like he's 10 again in the moment, stomach hurting with an uncontrollable pit that won't stop growing. He's silent despite it. If jamie doesn't want him around, the only course of action is to stay in the room till he does, and if he never does, the only option is to stay forever. Reasonable reactions.

He falls asleep in there, sitting on the floor at the edge of the bed, and jamie is the one who ends up carrying him back to bed so he doesn't hurt his back and apologizes like crazy for the next week. Words and actions, he is the sorryiest man alive.

That's the worst it got in anaheim. Jamie locks it up better when mad so it doesn't happen again. it's probably a good thing.

Post JD philly trade? It's bad. it's like an entire season of self isolation essentially. Jamies is too busy for much more than the occasional call. Trevor's not that bad of a boyfriend to wake him up when he's got a game in the morning.

He's not good enough for anyone, and he knows it. It sits heavy on his body, but he knows it. He can be better, he will be better, but right now? He's nothing but pretend. He shouldn't be seen till he can be what everyone wants him to be.

It's definitely easier to isolate yourself when your family lives so far away, you're injured, and your boyfriend is 3 hours ahead and asleep when everything starts getting bad. So it's like that, every word, every hit, every game he's benched. It's like he's shoved farther into the huge grave, everyone telling him he dug himself, everything's falling in on him, and no one believes he can do anything but make it worse.

He gets traded to philly, and jamie has never seen a worse version of it.

Just like that couple times in anaheim, but it never stops. It's not as big as before, trevors not hiding from anyone in different rooms—but he holds himself in harder. Laughs quieter and shorter, his face doesn't scrunch up, and the smiles lines dont press into his face, he doesnt exactly dodge jamies attempts at keeping him in the apartment over night but he never ends up staying.

he's polite. He's good. Please let me prove im something easier to love than before.

Even when the guys and him get along, it's like off ice. It's everyone else vs. trevor, and he's already resigned himself to losing. He takes a chirp and hell spit one back, but it just looks like he's one good 'too close to the heart' one before he breaks down

Jamies is the one who gets him good when he's finally fed up with Trevor trying to leave the apartment at what? 8pm, they've got an off day tomorrow? It's insane, it's crazy, and then jamie asks trevor if he even wants to he with him anymore.

Trevor crumbles in an instant, he doesn't know how to do anything, he can't fix anything on his own, he's never been more useless, jamie doesn't even love him anymore—hes crying, hard, he cant draw any air in and jamies infront of him, panicking maybe a little harder than he is.

It takes a while for everything to calm down, and trevors are still crying, but he can breathe enough to talk, ask how he can be better and then well, yeah jamie feels crazy because he just wants trevor to be him. He wants to see him smile and wants to see him be appreciated in the way he deserves by a team who loves him.

From what Jamie's watched so far, a whole four episodes in, it's not that good. He only cared to remember three of these characters' names, he hates the second main girl, and the two rich boy mains weird him out too much for him to get invested in their stories.

Trevor hasn't stopped talking through it. Jamie had expected this to end like their vampire diaries watch did: they'd sit through an episode, Trevor would get bored because Jamie was actually watching it, leaving zero attention on him, and then he would pull Jamie in for a kiss.

The show would be forgotten all together, inevitably having to restart the same three episodes only to drop the show next week. He liked the three days they had pretended to care about that show.

But nope, he's sat against Jamie's side, completely clothed for the last 2 hours. Which is a crime in itself. Trevor likes to walk about the house naked sometimes, boxers and a shirt at most on a good day. But right now? Now he's taken this show so seriously, he's in an old Drysdale number 6 hoodie, black sweats that don't belong to him judging by how the draw string is tied in a little bow, and fuzzy socks with cat paws on them.

His hands are gesturing wildly, probably in reference to the show in some way.

Jamie loves Trevor, really, really does. He hasn't listened to a single thing after, “Dan and Serena do it, to Elliott Smith. I didn't know who Elliott Smith was before this, but I tried listening to some of his music and I had no clue why he would—”

Jamie nodded, smiled, did all the good things he's supposed to, then spaced out for five minutes letting the TV run through the episode. When he cues back in, Trevor's still going. So immersed in some explanation of how Serena was deeply misunderstood in the first season.

He'd paused the show 12 minutes ago now. Trevor's still going, spoiling half the show after the first season. Jamie wouldn't care about spoilers even if he actually did care about the show, he never did. Not even when End Game came out and the next day he heard Tony Stark died, he couldn't have cared less. Who cares that Blair and Chuck got together? He didn't even know who that was. Who names their kid Chuck anyway?

Having Trevor take a break from being the one who's usually jumping Jamie's bones every chance he gets, forcing Jamie into that role, makes his face burn a little in embarrassment. He can only hide his lack of self control because Trevor's even worse than he is.

Jamie's self control finally snaps when Trevor goes on about Dan Humphrey being a music nerd for the second time in 3 minutes.

He leans in and presses a kiss to Trevor's lips.

Trevor's mid-sentence, Jamie knocks their teeth together by accident with a small click, causing the tiniest bit of pain to blossom on his lips. He ignores it in favor of listening to the small hum that escapes Trevor.

They adjust a little, Jamie tilting his head so he can slot their mouths together better. Trevor's lips are soft and when Jamie licks the inside of Trevor's mouth he can taste the gummy cola candy he got at the store. It's like taking in a breath of fresh air, gummy scented and uniquely Trevor.

They pull apart reluctantly to breathe minutes later, lips lingering and wet against each other. Jamie wants to bite him. His eyes dart from Trevor's back down to his lips.

He's startled out of the blissful daze when Trevor speaks, “Wha–what was that?” Trevor says after a few seconds, pulling away and blinking at Jamie in shock. Like he didn't expect Jamie to do that, like Jamie's not panting for it more often than Trevor is on most days. His lips are still shiny and red. He's breathing heavier than usual. It makes something in Jamie's gut burn bright.

Trevor breaks out into a laugh. The grin splitting onto his face forces Jamie to smile back at him, a chuckle escaping despite himself.

Trevor's stupid honk laugh that he gets to listen to on the daily never seizes to make him feel a little more in love. Which makes Jamie feel lame and makes his heart ache with that warm feeling. The sound gets muffled when Trevor leans over and his face lands on Jamie's shoulder. He can feel the shaking of Trevor's shoulder and the vibrations of his laugh in his body.

Trevor pats Jamie's thigh, slowly calming down and forcing himself to catch his breath.

“Jimmy—Jimbo, Holy. Wow, you know how to treat a guy.” Trevor says between gasps for air, which only causes him to start laughing more.

“You're annoying, dude.” Jamie's face flushes, and he tilts his head iinto Trevor's hair. He wasn't thinking, he just wanted to get Trevor to stop talking about Gossip Girl and kiss him instead. It's not a crime, Trevor does it all the time when Jamie starts getting particular about his meal presentation while Trevor wants to dig into whatever steak he made.

He pushes Trevor off him gently, barely any force to it. Trevor still lands sprawled on his back in a laughing fit that won't stop. It only seems to get worse when he looks back up at Jamie and sees how red he's gotten. Kinda like when they go outside and stay in the sun too long. Not even Jamie's hat can protect him from the inevitable sunburn.

Dickhead.

“I'm going upstairs if you're gonna be an asshole.” Jamie's eyes drag along Trevor's body. An arm thrown over the lower half of his face, as honest to god, tears start forming in Trevor's eyes, spilling down the crinkle in his eye. Even with his arm covering his mouth, Jamie can make out the smile that's pressed into face.

“Jimmy, baby.” Trevor reaches out with the hand hanging off the couch to tug on Jamie's shirt sleeve. His touch is delicate as he runs his fingertips down his arm. The laughter stops for real this time. He takes a deep breath while he wipes the wetness on his cheek away.

“Ohh, man. Woah–Jesus.” He says before pushing himself onto his elbow, tilting his head coyly, blinking up at him under his lashes, and using that stupid voice Jamie really likes.

Dipping into a faux innocence that he doesn't really possess, he says, “Take me to bed, please.” Trevor's hand lingers on Jamie's forearm and his brain melts out and through his ears.

It works every time.

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