Also available at my Fanfiction.Net Page:Â https://www.fanfiction.net/u/678820/Zenkx
And so the battle has ended.
Corypheus has been defeated⊠or rather sent back to the Fade by the Inquisitor. And everybody rejoiced.
Dorian watched her last night, during the banquet prepared by Josephine to celebrate their victory against the ancient evil that once threatened Thedas. The elven Inquisitor, Idril Lavellan, mingled with her guest that evening, smiling at her admirers and her friends as they congratulated her, but her smile never reached her violet eyes. Every once in a while, he would see her duck her head, and from the veil of her silver blond hair, Dorian saw tears form in her eyes. It worried him, as she was his friend, and it pained him to see her at such a state. As their night ended, he saw her retire to her room alone, and he had thought of bringing a bottle of Skyholdâs best vintage and join her, just to comfort her. But a certain lumbering Qunari came up to him, whispering naughty propositions at his ear, and he had ended up in The Iron Bullâs bed again.
The next morning, Dorian woke up late and tried to look for her, but she wasnât around the grounds of Skyhold. Josephine admitted that she has not left her room at all, and he quickly went to the stairwell that led up to her room. He opened her bedroom door, which was thankfully unlocked, and when he entered, he was greeted with a most unusual sight.
Somebody had laid out several Orlesian carpets in the room, piled with blankets and pillows, with Idril lying on the middle of it, chewing on a cookie, while several people lay perpendicular on her, using the elfâs body as a head pillow.
Nestled on Idrilâs left shoulder and neck was Cole, his hat removed and lying beside him, curled up in a fetal position. The boy looked like he was sleeping, but he noted that the boy was holding on to Idrilâs wrist as she reached up with her left hand to play with his cheek and light blond hair, clearly comforting her with his presence.
Sera lay on Idrilâs right side, using the other elfâs stomach as her pillow, as she looked up at the ceiling and chewed on a cookie, spilling crumbs on her neck and chest as she ate. A jar of the mentioned cookies lay precariously on her stomach, and Idril took one from it, giving the elf a short playful tickle.
And beside Sera was Varric, his head on her right thigh, polishing what looked like a gear from his crossbow, Bianca. It was him who noticed Dorian enter, and he looked at him, âWas there something you needed, Sparkler?â
Dorian grinned as he entered the room and stood near Idrilâs head, and she smiled as she looked up at him. âNothing really⊠I was just wondering if there was an orgy I wasnât told of. But this seems like an awkward position to do it, thoughâŠâ
Idril laughed as she reached up and grasped his ankle with her right hand, âSorry. No nastiness going on here, Dorian. This is just my Cuddle Puddle.â
âMy Cuddle Puddle.â Idril said, âI defeated Corypheus. I saved Thedas. And I thought I should celebrate⊠butâŠâ
Immediately, tears formed in her eyes and the three people around her reacted. Coleâs thumb moved, drawing circles on her wrist to comfort her, while Sera reached out and gave her cookie again, and Varric patted her knee. He bent over, the pity evident in his eyes as he looked at her.
During their journey to close the Breach and bring down Corypheus, Idril had been smitten with the elven apostate, Solas. Indeed, it was hard to not notice the doe-eyed looks, the immediate concern for each otherâs welfare, or the time they spend talking in the rotunda that was Solasâ room. It was evident even to him that the two elves loved each other.
Until they returned from a trip to a glen in Creswood.
In a drunken rage with himself and Varric, Idril told them about what happened. Solas has told her the truth about her vallaslin, the red-tinged tattoos that used to vine on the skin of her forehead and around her eyes. He had told her that the tattoos were, in fact, slave markings during the time of ancient Arlathan. She had told him that he could remove them, and he did, telling her that she was free and that she was beautiful, kissing her passionately afterwards. But the man drew away, telling her that âhe canâtâ and that he was âsorryâ, even though she told him that she loved her. She cried herself into a drunken stupor, falling asleep in his and Varricâs arms. They did their best to help her, which mustâve work to some degree, as Idril was able to defeat Corypheus. But when their battle ended, Solas disappeared, but not before telling her that what they had was real.
And that left Idril⊠the Herald of Andraste⊠to become heart-broken.
He smiled down at her as he ran his hand on her forehead, now devoid of the markings that once decorated her skin. âWell, this wonât do. You canât have a proper Cuddle Puddle without wine, my friend.â
Idril smiled up to him, wiping a tear that had fallen from her eye, âIâd like that, Dorian.â
He winked at her, before straightening, heading out of her room to the cellar.
A few minutes later, Dorian found himself lying on Idrilâs left hip beside Cole, holding on to a bottle of Aggregio. He had given two more bottles for Varric, and for Idril and Sera to share before settling down, and Sera gave him a cookie. He huffed as he looked up the ceiling and chewed, âYou know, this is probably the closest Iâve ever been to a vagina.â
Idril laughed before letting go of Cole for a moment to smack him in the forehead, âNo, youâre not. You came out of one.â
âAnd what a marvelous vagina it was to have given birth to me.â He smirked, causing Idril and Sera to chuckle, âSo, is this a new way to brood, my friend? Because I think I rather like it.â
âNo, itâs just my thing, I guess. If you like it so much, perhaps we should ask Cullen and Blackwall to cuddle you.â Idril said as she reached up to play with Coleâs hair again.
âCullen, a definite yes to cuddling. Blackwall? Not so much.â Dorian said as he finished his cookie and drank some wine.
âEww⊠Who would want to cuddle that? All that hair.â Sera scoffed as she ate another cookie.
Varric shrugged, âSome women like men hairy, Buttercup.â
âThereâs hairyâŠâ Sera said, reaching over to him to touch his chest hair, tickling the dwarf, before she reached up to Dorian to touch his moustache, âAnd then thereâs this hairy. I donât like âem both, yeah.â
âIs that why you prefer women, Sera?â Dorian asked as he fixed his moustache, smoothing it against his upper lip as the precarious elf had messed it out of order.
The other elf shrugged, âYeah. But thereâs one other thing.â
âAnd what would that be?â Varric asked as he stopped polishing the gear he was holding to look at her.
Idril, Dorian and Varric laughed out loud, and Sera rose up a hand at her fellow elf, who gave her a high-five. âWell, I guess there is that. Titties are rather nice.â
Dorian turned his head to look at her, âWhy, Inquisitor Lavellan, youâre not thinking of turning into a lesbian now, are you?â
Sera looked over at Idril, looking rather hopeful, but Idril merely laughed, âOh Gods, no! I love penises way too much.â
Dorian and Varric laughed out loud again, and the Atlus mage held up his fist at Idril, who bumped her own fist against his as she had done with Sera. The other elf looked dejected as she returned on her position on Idrilâs belly.
âWell, to that I can agree with.â Dorian said, and Idril smirked down at him. âIs that why youâre with the Iron Bull, Dorian?â
Sera guffawed as Dorian flushed in embarrassment before sighing, âAre we back to that again? Itâs bad enough that Varric seems to know every detail of that encounter now.â
The dwarf chuckled as he raised his bottle to salute Dorian, âA storyteller needs to find his inspiration everywhere, Sparkles. Iâll make sure to include it in my next book.â He coughed a bit and spread his arms wide, âItâll go something like⊠âThe mage clung on to his loverâs horns, his breath coming in short pants as his Qunari assaulted him with passion that shook him to the very core, trying to still the screams of submission from his lipsâŠâ â
Idril shrieked an amused but scandalized scream that caused Varric to stop his story and laugh, while Sera laughed out loud on her belly. And for the first time in his life, Dorian remained quietly blushing on Idrilâs hip, amused but still embarrassed from the dwarfâs narration⊠as it was rather on point with his relationship with The Iron Bull.
âI bet itâs like falling through trees into custard.â Sera chortled, rolling on Idril while doing obscene things with her hips, â âToo high! Wham! Too fast! Wham! Leaves! Wham! SPLAT!ââ
Dorian flushed into a deep shade of red as his three other companions laughed, and Sera nudged him, âSo, is it serious between you and Bull, Dorian? Whatâs it like? Jousting?â
The Tevinterâs face finally broke into a grin, âFewer horses, marginally. More cheering, definitely.â
They laughed out loud again, and Idril smacked him on the forehead gently, âFewer horses? I wouldâve thought that Bull ought to be built like a horse.â
âBy the Gods, he is.â Dorian admitted as he gave Idril a wicked grin, âHonestly, I donât know how to get up in the morning. This morning, too, in fact.â
âMythalâs mercy, donât!â Idril cried out as she laughed, âDonât give me a mental picture, Dorian!â
Dorian let out a laugh as he spread his arms in grandeur, âOh my, is our Inquisitor a prude? Shall I describe it to you? It is rather large and veiny⊠and itâs about this long andâŠâ
The silver haired elf let out a shriek of indignation as she let go of Cole to cover his mouth with a hand, causing Sera and Varric to burst out into laughter, their eyes filling with tears of mirth. Dorian grinned against her palm, and he kissed it in jest. Idril let go of him to smack him on the shoulder before resuming her petting of Coleâs cheek. âMythalâs mercy, that is just so wrongâŠ.â
âWhat about his rear, then, hmm? It is rather round and perky⊠delectably muscled even.â Dorian said as he took a swig of his wine.
âOh, yeah. I think sheâd like that more.â Sera said, still chortling on Idrilâs belly, âOur Inquisitor is a rear admirer.â
Varric let out a chuckle before sighing, âOh great, weâre back to butts now, are we? Perhaps with Sparkler here now, the Posterior Judging will begin.â
âButts?â Dorian asked before looking at the dwarf, âYou were talking about rear-ends a moment ago. How did that happen?â
âIt started simple enough.â Idril said as she reached over to Sera to get another cookie, âSera was wondering that since we saw the Fade in Adamant that the seat of the Maker was a real thing...â
âAnd a seat needs a butt to sit on it, yeah? So⊠the butt of the Maker, real thing.â Sera continued, âAnd from there were started talking about butts. Butts here with us. Inquisition butts.â The blond elf let out a giggle, âInquisi-butts.â
âAm I allowed to join in the conversation? I have a perfectly admirable posterior, if I recall.â Dorian smirked as he looked up at the ceiling again.
âIs that why Bullâs been lagging behind us now, Dorian?â Idril asked.
âI believe so. He canât get enough of it, Iâm certain.â
The two women chuckled, and Dorian drank some wine and snapped his fingers at Idril, âSo, whose posterior would you prefer, Inquisitor?â
Sera poked Idril at her side, causing the Inquisitor to jolt a little, as she was rather ticklish, âShe was thinking of our Commanderâs arse.â
Idril looked at the other elf in shock, âSera!â
âI bet itâs from the traininâ, yeah? Templars are always doing exercises and shite.â Sera continued, as if she didnât hear Idril.
âIâve been in Circle towers, perhaps Cullen got his rear that muscled because of all those stairs.â Dorian said, âItâs quite an exercise, running through all those stairs from one abomination to the next. And you, my dear girl, have a most excellent taste in behinds. Bravo, Inquisitor!â
Idrilâs face turned red, but she smiled down at Dorian, âWhy, thank you, messere. I am a bit of a connoisseur in the art.â
Dorian patted her arm, âI can see that. Picking the most best out of themâŠâ
The violet-eyed elf grinned and moved her leg, jolting Varric, âVarricâs got a cute butt, too, actually.â
Sera chortled, âDwarf-butt.â
Varric chuckled as he looked up at Idril and winked at her, âWhy, thank you, Inquisitor. I am honored you think so. If you had seen as many dwarf butts as I have, you would realize what a compliment that is.â
Idril raised an eyebrow, âWhat? Why do see so many naked dwarf butts, Varric?â
âBecause I make any Carta thief take off their pants before I shoot their asses full of bolts from Bianca.â The dwarf said, making Idril chuckle, before shrugging and saying, âBut back to our Commander Curlyâs posteriorâŠâ
âActually, it seems like all templars have a good looking behind.â Idril said thoughtfully, chewing on a cookie as she stared up the ceiling, âI mean, Cassandraâs got a good girly backside, right? And do you remember the King of Ferelden⊠King Alistair? We saw him in Redcliffe? I heard he used to be a templar before he became a Warden, and heâs got a good one, too, under that tunic.â She chuckled, âI bet the Hero of Fereldan grabbed that ass often.â
âKing Alistair is an ass⊠both literally and figuratively.â Dorian assented, âLetting mages roam Redcliffe unchecked, honestly. But let us not get too far up there, yes? There are plenty of⊠as Sera calls it⊠Inquisi-butts here with us.â
But the blond haired elf chuckled, â âGet too far up thereâŠââ
Both Dorian and Idril silenced as they thought of what was funny, before they laughed out loud at the innuendo, âYes, quite. I believe I dug that hole myself, didnât I?â Dorian said smirking as Sera and Idril laughed out loudly again, âBut back to our Inquisi-buttsâŠâ
âBlackwallâs got a good one.â Idril commented, while Varric shook his head, âWhy is it that soldiers have great looking arses?â
âEeeww⊠hairy arses.â Sera said, wincing as she bit a cookie, âKind of makes you wonder if heâs got hair in⊠places.â
Dorian scoffed, âWell, with that much hair on his face, of course heâs got it in other places, Sera. Heâs like a walking, talking, fighting ball of hair and brawn.â
âWhich kind of makes him the total opposite of Josephine, yeah?â Sera said as she moved her head from Idrilâs tummy to peer at Dorian, âSheâs all smooth and shite, and heâs rougher than frigginâ sandpaper.â
âOh yes, I did hear about that.â Idril said as she twirled Coleâs hair on her fingers, âI thought they liked each other. I even saw the flowers Blackwall gave in Josephineâs table. But how come they arenât⊠you know, together?â
Dorian scoffed as he snapped his fingers at Sera, and the elf gave him a cookie, âBlame Orlesian politics and melodrama, my friend. âLa splendeur des coeurs perdusâ or some strange drabble. Apparently, they canât be together because of the differences in their station. A pretty daft concept, I admit⊠but then again, our dear ambassador is as much of a romantic as our Seeker, it seems.â
Sera laughed, âCanât imagine Josie reading all those books Cassandraâs been reading. But I bet she has⊠because you know⊠smut.â
Idril let out a snort of laughter, âMythalâs mercy, the thought of Josephine reading âSwords and ShieldsââŠâ She shook her head and lifted it as she jiggled her leg, making Varric look at her, âSpeaking of Swords and Shields, just how exactly were you able to write that, Varric? The way you described everything seemed so⊠vivid.â
The dwarf on her thigh chuckled as he continued to polish the gear he was holding, âI had a pirate captain during my travels with Hawke named Isabela. She had⊠quite an itch.â Idril laughed a little as he described his friend, âDuring our adventures, she would often read these things she wrote⊠âfriend-fictionâ, she called it⊠for one of our companions in Kirkwall. I had permission to⊠copy from her worksâŠâ
âHang onâŠâ Idril said, her eyebrow rising, âAre you telling me âSword and Shieldsâ was based on some sort of⊠erotic fan fiction written for Guard Captain Aveline Hendyr of Kirkwall?â
Varricâs broad face broke into a grin, and he wiggled his eyebrows in confirmation, causing Idril to slap a hand on her forehead and laugh in mirth, âBy the Dread Wolf! I hope you donât do anything like that to me, Varric.â
âWell, you havenât exactly divulged any juicy information on your relationship with Chuckles, InquisitorâŠ.â
The dwarf slapped a hand on his mouth, looking up at Idril in alarm, as the answer came out of him unwittingly. Even Dorian and Sera grew quiet, waiting for a violent reaction from Idril, but other elf merely sighed and continued petting Cole, âWell, to be honest, nothing juicy really happened, Varric.â
Dorian breathed out a sigh of relief before looking at her, a little apprehensive at what he was about to ask, âBut⊠the way you talked to each other⊠I was so sure that heâŠâ
But Idril shook her head, âNo, nothing happened. It was just⊠talks⊠kisses⊠meaningful discussions of the Fade and elven history. Nothing more. He didnât⊠even say that he loved me back.â
Varric winced, âWell⊠shit. Iâm sorry I brought it up then.â
âNo⊠no, itâs alright.â Idril said as she closed her eyes and breathed in deep, âI was⊠hurt by what he did. But now⊠now I think I can make it. He may have left me, but you guys havenât. As long as I have you all, I know that Iâm good.â
They silenced together, basking in the comfort of each otherâs presence. Cole opened his eyes and grasped her left wrist again, drawing circles on her palm in a comforting notion. Sera reached out and took her right hand, grasping it tightly, while Dorian and Varric touched her thigh in an effort to make her feel their sympathy⊠and love. It comforted her beyond words, and she breathed in deep and sighed in happiness before opening her eyes and smiling down at them.
Finally Dorian grinned and winked up at her, âWell, since you are⊠technically single now, perhaps we should set you up with Cullen? Perhaps get you two to play another game of Wicked Grace?â The Atlus mage let out a most manly giggle that it caused Idril to laugh as well, âHe does have a rather delectable posterior, doesnât he? Rather marvelous.â
âMy posterior is⊠what?â
Idril, Sera, Dorian and Varric looked towards the door, seeing the astounded and appalled look on Commander Cullenâs face as he stood by the door, holding a bunch of papers which seemed to be reports for Idril. At the realization that Dorian was talking about his body, the templarâs face flared red. The Atlus mageâs face split into a grin so devious that Idril started laughing, âAh! Hello there, Commander! Would you like to partake in our little Cuddle Puddle?â
âCuddle Pud⊠what?â
Dorian waved a hand on the Orlesian carpets, the pillows and the pile that is their bodies, âOur dear Inquisitor was feeling⊠a little melancholic since the disappearance of our bald elven friend, and we are comforting her. Would you like to join us? Surely, you wish to help our dear Lavellan in her time of⊠need.â
Cullenâs mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, before sighing and running a hand on the back of his neck shyly, âI donât think I⊠I have a thousand things to⊠it seems a little inappropriateâŠâ
Dorian rolled his eyes in exasperation at Cullenâs fumbling excuses, and he nudged Coleâs arm, who opened his brilliant gray eyes to look at him. âDo be a good boy and help our commander, Cole.â
The boy let go of Idril and stood up. Without a word, he went towards Cullen and made him kneel near Idrilâs head, coaxing him to lie down so that her head lay on his right shoulder, and his head lay on hers. Idrilâs breath hitched a little, and she tried to move her head, but when she realized that Cullenâs face was too close to hers, she stopped moving, her face blushing furiously, and Cole went back to his place on her shoulder.
âMakerâs breath⊠what am I doing?â Idril heard Cullen mutter out a he raised a hand and massaged the bridge of his nose, âI have a thousand things to do.â
She couldnât help but smile, âNo, you donât. The Breach is closed, the Inquisition remains, and our soldiers are taking a break after that battle in the Arbor Wilds. Weâve worked too hard, Cullen. We deserve a break, donât you think?â
Cullen let out a chuckle, âI suppose youâre right. But⊠are you alright, Inquisitor? You know we have resources. We could ask Lelianaâs people to look forâŠâ
The Commander silenced, trying to sense what Idril was feeling, but when the elf remained quiet, he turned his head and promptly blushed, as his lips were an inch away from her cheek.
âWishing but wanting. Shy but seduced. Hurt but slowly healing. Conflicted, confounded, confused⊠but comforted. Warmth spreading through her skin like fire. The scent of steel, sweat and wine swirls around her⊠his scent, dizzying but calming, soothing, serene. It seems wrong, but it feels right. Should I take the chance? Should I take the leap? Should I take the plunge? Mythalâs mercy⊠heâs so warmâŠâ
All of them looked up to see that Cole had stood, picking up his hat from his spot near Idril, and putting it on so that it hid his face a little. Cullen looked at the boy in confusion from the words he had said. He opened his mouth to ask the boy what he was talking about, when Idril spoke up. âI told you to stop reading my mind, Cole.â
Cole smiled a little as he turned to Dorian, Sera and Varric, wringing his hands as he spoke with a ghost of a smile in his lips, âHe was healed by her, but now he wants to heal her. Her pain hurts him. Twisting, writhing, distorting pain in his heart⊠worse than a dagger⊠worse when the pain of losing the old songs in the lyrium. Her heart lies in pieces, and he wishes he could help. I will find him⊠I would kill him myself if I could. She didnât deserve this. How could he do such a thing? Maker, how can I help herâŠ?â
The Commanderâs face flamed red, and Idrilâs eyes widened when she realized that Cole was talking about Cullenâs thoughts about his feelings for her. She was about to speak again when the spirit of Compassion looked down at their companions. âHe wants to speak to her alone now. Weâve helped. Her heart was broken, and we have helped. But thereâs still a piece⊠a part, a sliver, a fragment of hurt that needs healing. He can help with that. Itâs his turn now. We should go. He wants to speak to her alone now.â
The spirit disappeared in a puff of smoke as he finished speaking, and without a word, Dorian, Sera and Varric stood up from their places, with the blond haired elf patting her neck and chest to get rid of the cookie crumbs that have accumulated on her. Varric pocketed the gear he was polishing as Dorian went around, picking up the bottles of wine he had brought with him. Idril looked at them in shock as she and Cullen sat up, âWhat? Youâre leaving?â
Dorian grinned at her as Varric headed for the stairs that led down her bedroom door, opening it for Sera. âFar be it from us to distrust the tried and tested wisdom of our dear spirit friend, Inquisitor. Stay and enjoy the quiet. Our dear Commander should be an appropriate company now, yes?â He looked down at Cullen and winked at him, lowering a bottle of Aggregio on a table near the stairs. âLiquid courage for you, Commander.â
Idril and Cullen looked at them in shock as Dorian descended down the stairs, whistling a tavern tune, and soon they heard the lock of the door turn as they all left. Idril flumped back down on her pillows as she laughed, covering her face in her hands in embarrassment, âOh Mythalâs mercy, Iâm so sorry about that, Cullen. But you know how they areâŠâ
Cullen smiled down at her, âIt is⊠quite alright, Inquisitor. They are your friends. It is only natural that they are worried about your well-being.â
âNot just them, but all of you.â Idril said as she folded her hands on her chest and looked at him, smiling, âI donât think I could have done any of this if it werenât for everyone⊠including you. Especially you.â
Cullenâs hazel eyes softened and a strange look came to his face as he smiled gently her, making him look even more handsome in Idrilâs eyes. She blushed harder at his look and she tore her gaze away from him, looking up at the ceiling, lest he could see her emotion.
The Commander moved then, and Idril remained staring up the ceiling as his heavy footfalls echoed towards the direction of the stairs, and she though he had left. She closed her eyes and breathed out a sigh⊠of disappointment.
But her eyes snapped open when she felt something moving beside her, and she looked up to find Cullen looking down at her, his armor, gauntlets and boots gone, holding the bottle of Aggregio Dorian had left behind. Carefully, he lowered himself down beside her, tilting his head to say that she moved. She lifted herself up a little as the man settled down, holding the bottle of wine on his left arm and the reports on the right. He wrapped an arm around her head as he lay down on the pillows so that her head was nestled on his chest, causing her blush again as she heard the beat of his heart from his chest.
âHow about this⊠I would read todayâs reports for you and you can go on⊠cuddling, I suppose. Dorian did leave me this task to do, and I would be a terrible commander if I did not do what I am told.â She looked up at him from his chest, and Cullenâs face turned red, âThat is⊠if you donât mind⊠I mean⊠if youâd rather not, I would understand⊠I am rather too forward for doing this, arenât I? Makerâs breath, Iâm making such a mess of thisâŠâ
Idril looked up at him incredulously, before throwing her head back and laughing, causing Cullen to blush even redder. She had to admit, being in the Commanderâs arms felt right, and that perhaps Dorian was right. She had thought about how it would be like to be with him, as the man was rather kind, loyal, smart, brave⊠not to mention good-looking. She smiled gently at him, getting the same smile from him, as she wrapped her arms around his mid-section and looking at the reports in his hand.
âVery well⊠what news for Skyhold, Cullen?â