#because otherwise

I don't talk about this a lot, but for many years, I have feared (rejected) the idea of a Patreon. Mostly because, I would see what artists were doing, fulfilling orders and burning themselves out on a monthly basis. I never saw what I was doing as worth that. I never believed I would be able to keep promises, and I don't like making promises I can't keep.

But over the years, my tune has been changing. I have realized I can simply ask for support, and in doing so, that support can help me do what I want to do, as opposed to what I think I need to be doing, and in turn, be able to produce more. I also have been changing my tune because after so long, I have finally realized: I cannot make what I want to make, alone.

May is my birthday month, and what I would really like for my birthday more than anything, is a little more financial security to help my pursue the things I would love to do with my life and my time. I chose Ko-fi because I trust it more than I do Patreon, and it gives me far more freedom and flexibility with how I can approach my customers.

What is the first thing I would like to share with my members? Information on what I want to do most right now: Starting on not one, but TWO children's books -- one centered on a very special borzoi named Jack and his story, and one based on my own two dogs, Strudel and Zill. This support will also help fund any other smaller projects I would like to work on, including paintings, prints, editing, learning Blender, and more.

For now, the tiers will unlock sketches and works in progress on pages as they are illustrated and painted. Some of the final images will be available for preview there, but not all of them, for the sake of the book. As work progresses, you'll learn firsthand on any ideas for kickstarters or crowdfunding campaigns, to make one or both of these books happen.

Once again, thank you to everyone always for your support! Whether it is through commissions, monthly subscriptions, my twitch subs, or just general moral support of being there for me, I can't thank you enough. This sort of support is very difficult for me to do, I never have felt like I had enough to give. But finally, I have a goal and a direction I want to move. Thank you to everyone who is helping me move that way, and making my longtime dreams, a reality.

            “Lizzie said there was a forest east of spawn, that was empty and unclaimed.” Shubble says. “I’ve always liked trees.”

            Scott smiles. “Sounds like a lovely idea. You have your communicator; you can contact us if you run into anything. Once you’re ready, I can add you to the server group chat.”

            Jimmy guides her as far as spawn before he heads off, saying something about Codfather duties.

            Standing in the jungle clearing, Shubble spins, taking in all the details she hadn’t had the chance to really notice the day she arrived. The way the trees tower over her, looming giants, the vines trailing in tantalizing and dangerous ladders. She glances at the thrones, but doesn’t touch any of them, they aren’t hers. It takes her a bit to find the sun, with how tall all the trees are, but once she is certain she knows which direction is east, she starts walking that way.

            It had been a long time since she saw a jungle, she muses. Her first solo assignment, perhaps? For a moment, the memories rise up and threaten to overwhelm her. The loud squawk of a parrot distracts her, and those thoughts dissipate.

            The sounds came from a beautiful blue parrot, which is looking at her imperiously. She squints at it. Could she tame it? She digs in her inventory, and finds a few seeds, which she offers to the bird. It squints back at her and then hops forward, eating all the seeds and hopping back to its perch before she can do anything. She kneels and digs through the grass for more seeds, when she glances up, the parrot is still there to her surprise. Shubble holds out the seeds they found, and wonders why they’re being so insistent on trying to tame this parrot. Why should she bother trying? It clearly doesn’t like her. Command would never let them keep a pet.

            A sharp tug on their earlobe brings them back to the present. The parrot is sitting on her shoulder, looking as concerned as a bird can be. Shubble rocks back on her heels, and sighs, reaching up to gently pet her new friend. “Sorry.” She says. “No more seeds.”

            It doesn’t move from its perch as she continues to wander through the jungle. The jungle falls away to a river, and she can see the forest on the other side. It is beautiful, trees and hills, and so many flowers. It is nothing like the Quire, with its orderly forests and bright gleaming cities, and Shubble smiles. This place will be perfect.

            She looks around, but she can’t see anyone around her. She really shouldn’t, but she doesn’t want to get wet right now. Her wings pop out, and with a mighty wing assisted leap she soars over the river. The second her feet touch the bank on the other side, she locks her wings away again, and whirls around, checking yet again to see if someone saw her. The only living thing she can see is her parrot, following her across the river, shrieking as if remonstrating her for leaving it behind.

            Shubble wanders around the forest for a while, until she finds a group of hills that look right. She couldn’t begin to explain why they look right, because they just do. Here, she can try this building thing, here she can grow things. She shivers in excitement, and her locked away wings twitch.  

            Pulling up her communicator, she finds Scott’s contact.

            I found something! I think I can build here for sure. She texts him, followed by her coordinates.

            His return text is swift. Wonderful! I’ll be by soon, I have some things to help make your life a little easier.

            Shubble works at digging out the hillside a little while she waits. Wrist deep in soil, she hears her parrot squawk and she whirls. Standing behind her is a fully armored vampire. She freezes, waiting for them to make the next move. Scott said that people knew she was here, she reminds herself. This is fine, her wings aren’t out, she doesn’t look like an angel. Her halo pulses gently, and she bites her lip. Hopefully it doesn’t look like a halo.

            The vampire doesn’t say anything. They merely bob in acknowledgement of her notice, toss a half stack of potatoes her way, and then fly off on elytra.

            Shubble puts the potatoes in her inventory, and sinks to the ground, trying to process what just happened. The parrot on her shoulder helps. She looks at it. “Thanks for the warning. Should I message Scott? Nahhhh, it’s fine! I can ask him when he gets here.”

            She’s back up and trying to figure out how to decorate the small cave she dug into the side of the hill, when Scott arrives.

            “You picked a very nice place Shubble!” He says, touching down softly.

            Shubble throws her arms wide. “It’s so beautiful! And I actually get to make it better, I hope.”

            “I’m sure you will.” Scott smiles at Shubble. “Here, I brought you a bed, and some other bits and bobs like a shovel. Half of the fun is making your own things, but that doesn’t mean Jimmy and I can’t give you a bit of a boost.”

            Shubble grasps the shovel, finding comfort with the way the wood grain twists under her fingers. Neither of them mention how she had hardly used her bed in Jimmy’s house. She would ruffle the blankets to make it look slept in, and then curl up with a single blanket on the floor, the mattress on the bed just too soft the one time she had tried it. “Thanks! I had a visitor earlier, a vampire? I think?”

            “Oh, that’s Count Fwhip of the Grimlands.” Scott nods. “He’s pretty nice.”

            There’s not much Shubble can say to that, but she tucks that information back into the part of her brain which is telling her to find him and give him something. She doesn’t like feeling like she owes a vampire something, even if the potatoes he had given her unprompted had been very tasty.

            “Well!” Scott says, looking around. “Looks like you have a lot you want to get done. I’ll leave you to it. If you have any questions, whatsoever, feel free to reach out, Jimmy, Lizzie, or I would be more than happy to help you, ok?”

            Shubble nods. “Ok.” She won’t, she knows she won’t. But that’s ok. She can choose to do that now. She watches Scott leave with the rockets of elytra, and smiles. She still isn’t sure she made the right choice, she isn’t sure how she made choices, she blames Sarandiel, but freedom is looking beautiful.

~~~ Oh how this one fought me. I apologize for the rough state it might be in, because this is the result of an evening of sitting down and not letting myself get distracted. Harder than it sounds.

Once again, derived from Greenekangaroo's Cursed Beacon Lore!