#bebt

“Yeah, well, I thought I’d drop by. Had to, uh, return a book, and I know you work on Wednesday afternoons, so…” Cassian trailed off, feeling his face heat. “Anyways. I wanted to say thanks for the cookies. They were delicious.”

Lucien laughed – really laughed, not the quick, bitter things Cassian was used to hearing from him. The laughter reminded Cassian of a drink of champagne, bubbling and light and sweet, and it made his head spin. “I’ll tell Nesta to tell Elain you said so. She said she usually makes sugar cookies, but I thought you’d like chocolate chip better.”

“I do,” Cassian admitted.

Lucien pushed a last Franklin biography into place, then turned fully to face Cassian. “I think her exact words were, ‘Could seduce a man with cookies like that,’” he said.

Cassian had to take a moment to remember how to breathe. One of Lucien’s dark eyebrows quirked up, like he was asking a question.

“Certainly could,” Cassian finally said.

A smile flitted over Lucien’s mouth, and he turned back to the shelves. “I saw you teaching that class,” he went on. “The kids’ taekwondo one.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm. Cute.”

“I – uh, I just like teaching,” Cassian said. “It’s fun. They learn fast.”

“Bet you don’t get kicked in the balls as much when you’re teaching adults, though.” Lucien shot him a grin.

Cassian groaned. “You saw that?”

“Absolutely. And documented it for posterity,” Lucien added, tapping his pocket where his phone must be. “Or blackmail, I guess, whichever comes up first.”

“You do, and I’ll get Azriel to hack your phone,” Cassian threatened. “Do you want your ringtone to be the Spongebob theme song? Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

“Joke’s on you – I love Spongebob.”

Cassian’s heart swelled for a moment with something he didn’t want to put a name to – something that matched to Lucien’s heart, quickened when he smiled, ached when he was hurting. Seeing Lucien here, so obviously – well, if not happy, perhaps, then content – made that part of him expand to engulf his whole chest.

“Really, though,” he said softly. “How are you?”

Lucien’s teasing smile faded. “Better,” he admitted. “Nesta was pretty cool about me missing work.”

“Yeah, I thought she might be.” Cassian leaned back against the shelves. “You look… good.”

“Don’t I always?” was Lucien’s lighthearted reply. He didn’t look as faded and drawn as he had a few days ago. They’d texted a few times since then, but Cassian felt better with a visual confirmation of what Lucien had told him.

“You do,” Cassian said anyways, and was gratified – if a bit surprised – to see twin spots of color appear high on Lucien’s brown cheekbones.

“So,” Lucien said after a moment of flustered silence, “did you just come over to compliment me? Because I don’t know if Nesta would approve.”

“I told you – I had a book to return.” Cassian hesitated. “I did, uh, have an ulterior motive, though.”

“Yeah? I figured you must.”

Cassian rubbed the back of his head, running nervous fingers through his hair. “Rhys is throwing a party? Gala, whatever. Something business-y. He invited me, and I thought you… might wanna come with, as my plus-one.”

He’d been tossing the idea around for weeks, wondering whether to go through with it. He’d never been the biggest fan of parties, but Rhys had widened his ridiculous eyes and managed to persuade him it would be fun, Cassian, come on, loosen up a little! Cassian hadn’t been able to tell his brother no.

“I dunno, Cass,” Lucien said. “Who all’s going to be there?”

“Bunch of big shots, probably. CEO’s like Rhys. Why – oh.” It hit Cassian suddenly. “God, sorry, Lu, I didn’t even think about that.”

Tamlin.

Cassian kicked himself. Why hadn’t he thought of that? No wonder Lucien wasn’t sure if he wanted to risk it.

“I mean, I know he doesn’t have any power over me now,” Lucien said, the words sounding recited and rote. “But –”

“No, I got it,” Cassian said quickly. “Forget I said anything. I promised Rhys I’d go, but you wanna come over, like, that Sunday? The day after? I owe you a cooking lesson.”

Lucien’s expression relaxed again. “Yeah, that’d be nice. Maybe we could make chocolate chip cookies so I don’t have to rely on Elain’s good humor when I want to be nice.”

“Are you asking me to give you a cooking lesson?”

“Baking. Yes,” Lucien said. “Maybe. Would you… be okay with that?”

“More than okay. Lucien, I’d l- I’d really enjoy baking cookies with you.”

“It’s a date.” Lucien smiled, and Cassian couldn’t help smiling back. Lucien’s smile was intoxicating – contagious. It was a weapon handmade to take Cassian down with a single blow.

“Oh, is it?” Cassian said, raising his eyebrows.

“If you’d like it to be,” Lucien said, and he reached up and tucked a stray curl behind Cassian’s ear. “Can you blame me? After all you’ve been doing for me?”

Cassian’s hand caught Lucien’s barely an inch away from his cheek, gently, so as not to startle him. “I don’t – Lu, I don’t want it to feel like you’re paying me back for anything,” he said. “I know there’ve been… people in your life before who feel like you owe them. I’m not one of those people. You know that, right?”

“’Course, Cass.” Lucien’s thin hand flexed under Cassian’s, and Cassian could feel the tendons move just under his thin skin, could practically feel the blood rushing through his veins, a hummingbird rhythm beneath his fingers. Careful not to squeeze too hard, Cassian, you’ll crush it. “Friends… don’t owe each other. And you know I trust you, right?” he said, the edge his voice usually carried smoothed under a strain of genuine concern Cassian hadn’t heard from him before. “I know you’d never – you’re not like him.”

Before Cassian could respond, Lucien yanked his hand back. “I mean, obviously,” he went on, his free hand running over the shelf of books in front of him, pushing them into place even though they were already lined up perfectly. (Nesta would be proud.) “You’re way better-looking.”

“Oh, really?” Cassian asked, slipping back into teasing. “That’s a comfort, at least. By the way – you admitted we’re friends.”

Lucien scowled. “No, I didn’t.”

“You did! You said friends don’t owe each other.” Cassian grinned, leaning on the wooden shelves. “Admit it. We’re friends.”

“Wild horses couldn’t drag it out of me.” But Lucien gave him a small, sideways smile. “I should get back to work, but… I’ll ask Rhys to drive me over on Sunday. I’ll bring the chocolate chips.”

“Come over for dinner.” Cassian caught Lucien’s hand as it rested on the now-empty library cart. “Stay over for the evening. Okay? I want…”

Cassian paused, and it felt like the air around them held its breath. Lucien’s eyes, the warm brown and lifeless gold, were still fixed sideways on him.

I want you to be happy, and I know I can’t do that, but I can do this.

“I want to spend time with you,” Cassian finished. “No obligations. No Feysand talking business over us. Just cookies and conversation. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Lucien said. “Yeah, okay. I can’t…” His eyes dropped. “You know I can’t promise what Sunday’s going to be like.”

“I know, Lu. It’s okay if Sunday turns out to be a shitty day. Let’s plan on it, though. Dinner. Baking. Sunday.”

Lucien nodded. “I’ll expect to hear all about the party. Hours of shit-talking. You better take notes.”

“I’ll keep track of every terrible rich straight person and their terrible fashion choices,” Cassian promised. “I’ll even take pictures. You can pop some popcorn and open up Snapchat and watch them roll in.” And then, because he could tell where Lucien was going to worry, he added, “Trust me, it’ll be really nice to have someone to talk to. That party’s going to be a nightmare, they always are, and Rhys and the others will be schmoozing CEOs.”

“You came here to invite me to a nightmare?” Lucien teased.

“Wouldn’t be a nightmare if you were there,” Cassian said with a grin, “but Snapchat is the next best thing.”

“Better be.” Lucien shoved Cassian backwards with the tips of his fingers. “Go on, get out of here. I have a job to do. I can kick you out now, you know.”

Cassian laughed. “All right, all right, I’m going! But I’ll see you on Sunday?”