i was listening to 'the island north of vaugarde' the entire time i was making this which. it neither added nor subtracted but did a secret third thing to the experience. anyways. yes.

lets stop and consider what phoenix wright has withstood:

falling from a burning bridge into a deadly river (survived with a cold, worked off in roughly a day)

consuming a necklace laced with trace amounts of a poison that realistically could have killed him (no adverse effects)

hit point-blank by a car, launched high into the air, slammed into a telephone pole (survived with a sprained ankle)

and not withstood:

two slaps from an eight-year old girl (knocked unconscious)

back pain from bending over (knocked unconscious for more than a day)

a notable middle ground to these occurs at the end of Reunion and Turnabout, where franziska von karma absolutely beats the shit out of the poor guy, remarks "and one more for good measure" and proceeds to go on an absolute frenzy.

what common ground is shared between the "not withstood" column that is not with the "withstood" column? comedy. being knocked out by pearl fey or back pain is played for laughs. as is fvk's knocking him out after saying just one more. but none of the first three are. but you know what is played for laughs about all three of them? the fact that phoenix survives unscathed.

he "passes off" his cold to the canadian judge, and everyone around him is varying degrees of incredulous at his speedy recovery. the necklace eating is explicitly a funny and frustrating moment and the player only realises the danger he was in after the fact. apollo's reaction alone to the whole fiasco of phoenix getting hit by a car is great.

the conclusion? well, theres a rather clear one. ace attorney operates under some crazy rulesets to start with, and phoenix wright is borne into those rules. the man operates under looney tunes physics. you can't harm him in any way that matters unless its funny. in the same way that one could only defeat bugs bunny by opening their mouth incomprehensibly wide to swallow an oncoming pie, one could only best phoenix wright by laying a banana peel in his path or something of that ilk. any meaningful attempt on his life would place the assailant in the role of the court jester, madly trying to take down this man that refuses to die in spite of absurd circumstances.

preserving this conversation in amber. what’s wrong with him. why does he care so much about which hair color league to join

Putting it in amber

nia is living with oz in moonscrest! they’re making up for lost time. he does keep in touch with emily as much as possible, who is kinda busy making sure the obsidian dies and stays dead and all.

still kinda getting used to the whole not repressing his emotions thing, but oz makes sure to check on him a couple times a day. he’s in therapy now also, which is going well for him.

also getting used to the whole being blind and having a missing eye thing. it doesn’t impact him too much cause he was used to using his other senses and working under low visibility, but no visibility at all is still somewhat a challenge and of course he gets the occasional pain in his missing eye from time to time, among other things.

overall he’s chilling though, happy to not be constantly on the run anymore and to have a place to call home. he’ll tell oz stories of his life and in turn oz will share stories of herself and their family. but generally they’re pretty happy now. oz has also retired from the firefly now that his sibling isn’t missing and all.

and of course they visit the graveyard sometimes, and emily will too when she isn’t busy.

^🎺bwaaaaaaa

DANDORI… PRESIDENT STYLE IS

~ SLEEK ~ SUAVE ~ SEXY ~ SUFFICIENT

IT IS… THE HIGHEST FORM… OF DANDORI!!!

\ \ DANDORI… PRESIDENT STYLE IS

SLEEK SUAVE SEXY SUFFICIENT

YOUNES OLD PAL OLD BUDDY OLD CHUM I AM GLAD YOU ASKED!!!!!!!

crosscode just so happens to be my favorite video game!!!!! period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and you will learn why!!!

crosscode is an EXCELLENT action rpg featuring the silliest girl ever invented pictured below

having a splendid time with her pals in a funky mmo world that is on a. moon??? somewhere out there in the galaxy??? maybe??? it’s funky

and there are absolutely no horrors to speak of :] no sirree :]

it is a FANTASTIC game that I cannot recommend enough, the story will kill you immediatly, the gameplay is fantastic, and the ost will also kill you. you will not emerge from it the same person you were before

it is available on most consoles and steam last i checked, and for roughly twenty dubloons too!!! what a steal for something that fundamentally altered my brain chemistry

Well, bean, you did it again.