Here's last night's Saltburn parody, in full.

No other fansite takes care of its gays like we do. And that's a fact.

There are just over 24 hours left until Big Brother UK returns to our screens - after a nearly five-year absence.

The eye (and the ads)

Despite the show's ad campaign starting off strong with an eye reveal teaser that broadcast simultaneously across the ITV network, the promo campaign has felt decidedly "ehh" ever since.

The new eye logo is... a lot? And probably just about what you'd expect an "ITV2 Big Brother eye" to look like, in that it contains hashtags, faux YouTube play buttons/Instagram icons, and pouty lips. 🤷

Mind you:

BBUK eyes never quite look "right" until you see them in the opening titles, SO THERE'S STILL HOPE

It's definitely, definitely not the worst eye ever, so there's that

The theme tune

While we're talking branding, the iconique Big Brother UK theme tune has received its first remix in... well, in a long time. "Nineteen years" is the obvious answer, since that's when the show's opening theme last got tweaked - but we don't actually know how, or where, or if this new remix will be used in the show.

We're amazed by how it sounds "stripped back" and somehow also "overly busy" at the same time???

The House

Remember how they used to do those cool "House glimpse" ads in the Channel 4 era? They were THE BEST because we used to be able to pore over every detail and do a nice write-up and post loads of pictures, but this year we've just had to put up with a handful of drone shots of the new Big Brother garden.

Until yesterday, that is, when we got our first proper press photos! But they were still of the garden. 🤔

Picture credits: ITV/Initial, via bbspy

It looks very nice! Arguably... suspiciously nice? Like, too nice for a fucking six-week run? Weird.

Picture credit: ITV/Initial, via BIGBROTHER+

The new Diary Room chair also got a look-in, and it is looking -- as BIGBROTHER+ rightly points out -- very Big Brother Australia.

What's fascinating about BBAU "fans" is that they all, without exception, hate everything about BBAU with a burning passion. But as outsiders, we feel confident saying BBAU comparisons can only be a good thing.

So there.

And literally as we were putting this post together, we got a glimpse at the (unfinished) main living area of the House:

Picture credit: ITV/Initial

It looks very large, and quite BBUSA-y! Again: this is supposedly a SIX-WEEK RUN OF BIG BROTHER, what right does it have looking anywhere near this good?

The Housemates

Obviously we don't have any details to share, yet, but we think there will be 16 of them, judging by ITV's recent Tweetstorm. Xtorm? Whatever.

Picture credit: ITV/Initial, via BIGBROTHER+

Including one Housemate (above, top-left corner) whomst wears coloured contact lenses, which is surely a WORLD EXCLUSIVE.

I'm wary of sounding like a broken record, but: SIXTEEN HOUSEMATES FOR A SIX-WEEK RUN???

There are probably going to be new Housemates in the middle. Let's say, two double-evictions, tops? Are there going to be thirteen Housemates in the final? ???WHAT IS HAPPENING???

When and how to watch it

BBUK kicks off tomorrow, Sunday, 8th October at 9pm on ITV1, ITV2, and ITVX. The launch show is followed at 10:30pm by new sister show Big Brother: Late & Live.

Subsequent BB episodes will air on ITV2 and ITVX, Sunday-Friday at 9pm, followed by Late & Live at 10pm.

And there's live streaming from the House every night from 11pm to 2am on ITVX - on Saturdays it's 9pm to 2am, so we get two bonus hours! Whee! 🥳