#bb&b

Our intrepid bitch of a protagonist has finally decided to awaken and wouldn’t you know it, the bed’s empty. Or at least what functions as a bed. Guess Linda likes to hit it and quit it

Her name’s Linda by the way

So Nickles decides to padfoot around out the door and finds Linda standing on a ledge all Rafiki style, but dude does not completely erase his presence because she senses him which isn’t creepy at all and is like “Welcome to Fhloston Paradise Andares VI! But I hate that name so let’s change it.” The sun rose like a petulant teenager that doesn’t want to get up for 5am swim practice (why did it have to be every single day of the week, why also after school, why double practice on the weekends, why would you do that to me) and this sullen goth star eternally burning bathes everything in a kind of dull red that makes all the pools in the swamp look like BLOOD because it’s all edgy and shit like that

Now Knicky is like “so what do we do I don’t know the schedule around here do we eat or something you’re like, the catering officer after all” like an absolute twat and she tells him, “look my dude, you’re a fuckin’ werewolf, we gotta catch our food” and he’s like “what, nekkid??” and she’s like “yeah man shit’s muddy around here and all we got is the alien approximation of crayfish” which, like, what kind of horrors would alien crayfish substitute invoke, I am become frightened

You would be right to be frightened as well, because Linda got motherfukken bloodlust. Girl starts reminiscing about hunting sheep in a disturbing amount of detail and ohmyGOD why didn’t we see it before! Where were all the signs! Linda! Is a werewolf tooooooooooooooooooo

Anyway she got kicked off her ship to live on swamp planet because she made it look like there was a “mysterious illness” affecting all the ships cats because gorl can’t help herself when it comes to a late night snack

It— no. No, that fruit is hanging too low. Moving on.

The two space werewolves (because the book is about werewolves in space just in case you forgot) tromp nakedly down into the mud to hunt for bugs of the mud variety that are definitely not crayfish, and Falsies is super glad that he’s nekkid because it’s all hot and steamy and warm outside, so it’s good that THERE WAS ONLY HIS SKIN, HAIRY AS IT WAS, TO GET MUDDY

He’s. He’s hair. Hairy. A hairy werewolf. A hairy horny space werewolf.

Audible sigh. This is what I’ve chosen to do with my life. This is where I am. Telling strangers on the internet about an awkwardly horny space werewolf adventure. My mother must be so proud

Nekkies werewolf babe the first shows nekkies werewolf dude the who cares how to “fish” which is basically noodling for horrifying bottom-feeding face-huggers from a nightmare dimension. She breaks whatever serves as its neck and it rolls up into a wet hairy dead spider thingy the size of a football. Which they must now cook. Because raw nightmare fuel is nasty. Nekkie Falsen dreams of eating it with all the fixings of a crab or lobster dinner, but oh well

Existential Horror Happy Meal consumed, they share a cigarette because it was just. that. good. They wonder where they can find a tobacco substitute. They might as well look for something since they were left on this planet all on their lonesome even tho they served their entire careers doing space jobs (not Linda, she was too busy murdering the passenger’s cats whenever she felt peckish) (ngl, girl probably deserved to be marooned after all the murders and consumption of the evidence to cover up her crimes)

But what’s this?? Is there trouble on the horizon of this muddy paradise for Space Adam and Space Eve? (I am not shitting you, they actually call themselves that)

Yes. Yes, I’d say there’s trouble. Because approaching on the horizon is not a bird, not a giant flying reptile or giant flying insect, but a flying machine.

Oh shit it’s an airship!

“AN AIRSHIP,” SAID LINDA.

Linda I swear to god—

But wait! Maybe they’ll come to the aide of “distressed space werewolves men” and they prooooobably don’t know about our “family scandals” (why did you say it like that) and the Federation proooooobably hasn’t exactly publicized our “little indiscretions” so like… throw some water on that fire gurl we need smokey signales

“But what if they’re human” “bUt wHaT iF ThEy’Re HumAn— so what they won’t know why we’re here, we can just lie!”

And just assuming that she’ll agree with him and go along with it, FalseTeeth starts ripping up wet vegetation to get his smoke on and it’s all thick and viscous which are words I Do Not Like Using to describe anything other than molasses, and oh good golly gosh it works and the airship starts heading their away!

Except it’s not a blimp-type airship. It’s not “the Shaara” like they supposed, but it’s “Doralan” as if that means anything to anyone at this point, but go off

So anyway now they’re gonna get dressed and stuff so they can steal their ship

And that was Chapter 2

In February 2023 our comm had a meetup to sample several gourmet hot-chocolate beverages offered by local bussinesses during a moth-long festival. I unfortunately had a head cold and was still symptomatic when the day rolled around so I stayed home. I still took photos of the coord I planned to wear for posterity.