#bb!owlclaw

I HAVE to do it. It fits too well. It's absolutely shockingly tragic and horrrible. Hell opened up and Owlclaw's worst nightmare came lunging out. I have so many thoughts.

Owlclaw has had a whole life dealing with the neglect and abuse he went through, taking it out on others as a bully, and it's only now seeming to get any better

Mentor Oakfur being even more of a parent to him than any other apprentice he's had, knowing Owlpaw needed it.

Whitewater had FINALLY died. It hurt like nothing else, because in spite of everything he loved his mother... but he was FREE

And maybe she was, too. Maybe in StarClan she could watch over him, perhaps now with distance her memory can be something positive.

There was a time he might have wished suffering on her. But he's going to be a dad, now. He's learned that holding onto grudges never seems to do anything constructive.

He started his new life with Pinenose, still in their honeymoon phase. They're a young couple and everything is moving fast, they're welcoming two little twins.

Weaselkit and... Happykit. He still thinks it's silly, but he said it as a sardonic joke because he couldn't think of a good name and Pinenose beamed. How could he burst her bubble?

He has NO idea that his mother didn't ascend to StarClan. Shes doonstairs. He's daring to assume the best, and she's embracing the worst.

She doesn't need long to be completely onboard with Tigerstar's scheme. She didn't even need a discussion with Hawkfrost. The only reason StarClan would throw her down here is because there's a problem.

So, she'll put it right.

The IMMEDIATE validation she feels seeing Harespring training in the Dark Forest is intoxicating. They ARE cursed!! One of them already found its way here!

(AND the spawn of that damn TRAITOR, Crowfeather. The bastard who betrayed Mudclaw's coup.)

Harespring started training here out of curiosity, and a speck of heresy to be totally honest. He wanted to know his biofather, Mudclaw, and StarClan couldn't be all that wonderful if it would allow his brother Kestrelflight to be forced into the Cleric's den so young.

But NOW, having met Mudclaw and hearing his side of the story, and now WHITEWATER landing here as well...

...he has never had stronger faith in StarClan before. Mudclaw was horrible enough. Whitewater is unhinged.

There is no doubt in his mind that these two belong here. The sad stories are outweighed by cases like these, so in his opinion, there SURELY must be things he doesn't know about innocuous cats like Houndleap and Featherwhisker.

He hates coming here, every moment he's trapped with one of his bioparents is a moment he wishes he was spending with papa Torear.

Harespring betrays the Dark Forest the minute he has a chance to. But it doesn't stop Whitewater.

Weaselkit's death happened so fast and they were so young that Happykit can barely remember it. Was it after Dustpelt crunched? ...he thinks it was during.

I can't imagine Happykit will be told about Whitewater until he's much older, but... he knows Weaselkit's death is what drives the wedge between his parents

(Of course that's too simple to be correct. Happy's smart in the way that you get when you have to grow up quick, but still a kid at the end of the day. Owlclaw backslid into old, destructive ways. Pinenose can't handle him and their child and her grief at the same time. They were a young couple to begin with. It shattered like glass.)

WindClan is cursed. She begins to feel that sort of slow-burn fear that ferments into furious bigotry-- and Owlclaw is the one who suffers for it.

When she brought the two bigger kittens out into the storm that night, she left Owlkit behind out of a sense of... some kind of warmth. She didn't want the helpless thing to die. As time passes, she starts to think maybe that's what she should have done when she had the chance.

Maybe that storm was meant to kill it.

We aren't our thoughts, we are our actions, but a thought indulged is future actions taken. She thinks about that every time she squirms in discomfort from looking at him. Guilt jabs her when she thinks about how his father is Mudclaw, how she hypocritically was going to invoke Queen’s Rights which she hates so much. Going into the nursery feels like walking into a jail cell. This wouldn't be happening if that storm had killed him.

Every time she has that reflexive, negative feeling towards her kitten, she lets that thought linger a little longer. That storm should have killed you.

She doesn't realize this, but this is an excuse. If the storm was supposed to kill this kitten, now this isn't HER terrible intrusive thought. SHE isn't believing something so cruel. It was maybe fate. It was perhaps StarClan trying to help her. These feelings are natural. Justified. The reason; That Storm Should Have Killed Him.

Oh. But no one else could possibly take Owlkit. She is his Mi, she would never (admit she has a problem) force him onto someone else. This is her (punishment) responsibility.

Of COURSE he developed behavioral issues. He's known as a big bully and a bit of a loner. Owlkit learned quickly that asking for help gets him hit, and Owlpaw quickly became very distant from his mother. Whitewater didn't "chase" him-- and that hurt too.

He's definitely closer to his mentor, thankfully. Blackstar knew Owlpaw was going to need someone capable of handling a difficult apprentice, who would do a good job of integrating him properly into the Clan by establishing connections to other warriors. So he got Oakfur.

And the ones in WindClan...

Kestrelflight was put into the Cleric's den early. Barkface died in a mine collapse in BB!TNP, so as soon as it was demonstrated he had a connection to StarClan he was shoved in, too young. To Whitewater, the realization churns in her belly, making her heart race with fury (and satisfaction, her biases confirmed) that Onestar is breaking the code to train a kit before its 6th moon.

Damned WindClan! They claim to be so pious but their priest is a child! Kestrelpaw will be their downfall. This must be their punishment.

Harespring is a clumsy warrior, terrible when he fights other cats. Too gentle. Too anxious that he will hurt others. Surely useless to WindClan. Whitewater doesn't live long enough to see Harestar, but if she watches the ceremony from StarClan, she revels in her smug bitterness.

There's a VERY high chance of it. She's almost certainly damned unless someone defended her VERY well (which is unlikely)

When StarClan makes a ruling, they aren't neccesarily deciding if you are Guilty or Innocent. They're determining if you are worthy of their ranks. You have to prove you belong in Heaven, NOT that you're not bad enough for Hell.

For most warriors this is a very simple yes, and no trial is required... but if you so much as OFFEND StarClan with your bad vibes, they might damn you just for that. Whitewater has a really bad reputation for everything she's done.

The Queen’s Rights actually work "legally" on the assumption that judgement is outsourced to StarClan, because mortals (Oakstar) can't be trusted to be impartial on this specifically. The birth of kittens cannot be used as evidence of codebreaking behavior... on the mortal plane.

StarClan was ALREADY going to give her a review just based on her affair with Mudclaw. If it ended on the Great Journey like they initially planned and she invoked QR with her Ba-less litter, there wouldn't even be a trial.

But that's not how this story goes. She was a ShadowClan cat involved in Mudclaw's rebellion, because she wanted to support him.

SHE might have only done that because she wanted to avoid ThunderClan "putting their paws in another Clan's business" or some other excuse, but StarClan says

"L + Ratio + Supported your baby daddy's coup + Set the peat on fire + What were YOU doing putting your paws in another Clan's business"

StarClan didn't even accept MUDCLAW'S explaination. They didn't even accept VIXENLEAP'S excuse, just some Thistle Law-loving RiverClan warrior who joined because Hawkyfrosty asked her to. They were always going to give Whitewater a hard time for this.

Whitewater might have been able to wrack up some goodgirl points by being a very loyal ShadowClan warrior..... and she did, a little.

But she kept her head down. No spectacular feats of redemption. Just tried to live quiet. That doesn't incur a lot of favor.

And then, the part you've been waiting for... how she treated Owlkit. Theyyyy didn't like that.

If she was sooo unattached to her mate, why did his smiting BOTHER her so much, hm?

She might have won favor for doing something very noble and giving the kittens to the bereaved Torear, but she KEPT Owlkit. Any love she had that influenced that choice drained away

and she didn't do the "right thing" for him by asking for help. She just did the bare minimum at best, and hid her abuse at worst.

Unfortunately though, the neglect and emotional abuse did not earn as much ire on their own as you're hoping. StarClan is (and was) full of much worse abusers. Hillrunner, for example.

Most of StarClan's condemnation would be based around Mudclaw's Rebellion... but they've been waiting a LONG time to process the surviving non-WindClan rebels. So... she's probably doomed.

Unfortunately I cannot imagine she takes it well. She completely ignores that Owlclaw was just a footnote in her condemnation, and uses it to confirm everything she ever believed.

"That kitten WAS meant to die that night. I should have dragged that child out into the storm with the rest of its cursed siblings. I've been shoved into the spot where Owlclaw should be!"