#batfan

makes the kids hold the flashlight when he’s working on the Batmobile and yells at them when they don’t do it right

makes lots of weird gross dad noises (groaning, hacking, etc)

snores like a fucking freight train. like seriously, there should be a noise warning on his bedroom door

snack tax in the car!!! reaches his hand back and does the little grabby thing

“when was the last time you changed your oil”

gives the worst directions

“so you’ll pull out of here and go north about three miles—“ “what the hell are you saying to me”

gets to the airport five hours before the plane takes off (it’s a private plane, it’s not leaving without him)

this is more of a mom thing, but he gasps like he’s just been stabbed when someone wakes him up

*whispering* “B…B…Bruce” “HEUEUH. What.”

Texts “Call me now.” and when the kids do, assuming something horrible has happened, he’s like “what should we eat for dinner tonight.”

on the other hand, he also forgets to tell the kids very important information

“how’s it going, B?” “not much just recovering from my wrist surgery last week” “your WHAT?!”

Dick: be mysterious

Jason: got it!

*later, while on a date with Y/n*

Y/n: where are we going?