#bartenders

I feel like I should talk about drinks and cocktails and bartending shit on occasion but instead I just post mildly tasteful nudes and random pics I've taken around NYC.

If one was to order a tequila tonic at a music show, it comes in a shit plastic cup with a stupid short straw. The ice is crushed from a bag. Sometimes it has a weak withered lime. Perfect.

However, if one was to order it from a drinking bar or a cocktail bar, it comes in a highball glass with a thick straw and a stack of ice cubes.

This is all wrong. The highball glass ruins everything about this drink. It fucks with the ratio. It fucks with the intake (a thick straw, can't sip it). It fucks with the ice melt. It also just fucks with the history.

Do you know why tonic with quinine was invented? To fight malaria. It was distributed to the British troops while they were in India. To me, its basically a military ration.

The original gin tonic was made because the soldiers were rationed Gin as part of their payment. They took the gin and mixed it with tonic because the tonic was so gross.

So why are we treating tonic like its soda in this cocktail? It fucking ain't. The ratio of booze to tonic should always be 1:1. The alcohol should always be the stronger taste when drinking a tonic drink, because tonic is gross. Full stop.

Now, I know what wikipedia says. It is a highball drink. I'm challenging that. I think it isn't. It may seem like a drink you sip when its hot out, when its a party, when its day-drinking time, but it ain't.

Do not drink a tonic drink fast. It is a sipping drink that allows you to do that horrible thing where you grimace and smack your lips. A tequila tonic should never have a big straw for drinking but a stirring straw.

Highballs also have the wrong amount of ice that melts too slow. Tonic drinks should have crushed ice. Water melt is a significant part of the experience that makes the cocktail drinkable. The drink should be the most delicious at the last sip, so you desire to drink another one.

In a highball, finishing the drink with a fucking straw with the bad taste of tonic in your mouth, you will feel tipsy. WRONG. If you follow my instructions above, you will drink this slow, have a normal after taste, and be able to drink like 3 without feeling tipsy. This is great.