#barnard33

The Horsehead Nebula appears as a dark silhouette against a curtain of billowing red dust. It is a beautiful sight and a relatively easy target for experienced astrophotographers. It appears in the constellation of Orion, right on the apparent “Belt of Orion”, but it is too faint to see without a telescope. It was first identified by the Scottish astronomer Williamina Fleming in 1888.

The deep red colour is caused by the ionized hydrogen that dominates this area called the Orion Molecular Cloud Complex. It is about 1,400 light-years away.

This image is a composite of my best 72 photos where each is a 3 minute exposure. I used a special filter to highlight the ionized hydrogen.

i. i have known from the very beginning of this that you and i are on borrowed time. have you? over a decade of your ocean pushing me out and pulling me back in, rarely knowing which side of the current i’m being swept away with until it is too late for it to matter. the unfortunate truth that i am finding over and over again: i will find a place to lie on either side as long as you are the ocean. you have always been the goddamn ocean.

ii. somewhere (unknown to me) in this room (unknown to him,) there is a handwritten letter explaining which parts of your city make me shiver and how to find them - literal maps to their figurative counterparts. and it has become an amusing little game to see which one of us will locate it first. a treasure hunt of betrayal.

iii. while others are toasting to new beginnings, i am preoccupied with every impending ending. because if i am being honest, and i am trying so fucking hard to be honest, this closing door does not lead to an open one. the door will shut, the gate will come down from the ceiling, bars will appear on the windows, and i will be alone in the dark. there is no room for resolution here.