#bardofslime

His up and down relationship with Gam started out simple, cute, pleasing. Yet, it quickly spiraled out of control once it was obvious how much of a pushover Gamzee could be, alongside the fact Gam was a Straight A douchebag who liked to test limits.

Day to day it was a new challenge for Gamzee, and he had to deal with knowing that at any moment there could be screaming or some form of abuse that came from... just about anything. Gam was so unpredictable that there were times that Gamzee looked at Gam in fear-- and the times that Gam noticed hurt-- and irritated him. Gamzee has retaliated and even hit first, filling him with a sense of being no better than him, but he collected himself on most scenarios and took most of the force.

From going out and flirting, to hitting on his own moirail (Shihab at the time), spending time with a Kurloz, not listening to Gamzee when said Kurloz would fuck around and mess with him, yell at Gamzee for trying to stop him from doing things that Gamzee perceived was bad for him, to trying to get into a fuck-buddy/side relationship with Etoile behind his back-- it all grew into a bubbling, burning sour patch in Gamzee’s stomach. 

He held out for so long. Gam’s first death was devastating and a shock so brutal that Gamzee still has nightmares on occasion of Gam’s face splitting in half right in front of him-- his guts dropping to the floor- his-- A true nightmare- only it was a recollection of the first time he died.

The second time he died threw Gamzee through a new kind of loop. He had BEGGED Gam to stay. Stay for Mirzoi. Stay to get better. Just stay. Even his sobbing fit and a hope that he would stay for his own daughter didn’t stop Gam from offing himself (since his second life made him mortal).once left as a ghost, Gamzee refused--vowed to never have anything to do with Gam. His care, love, respect. All gone. He tries not to even talk about him if possible.