#barbero

I wasn't too interested in the first episode but then TK played the opening song (Signal) and chills went down. If there's anything I've learnt, his music takes everything up a notch. Second episode onwards, the story builds up. It's honestly amazing how Angelo manipulates the course of events or rather has the foresight to realise the cause and effect of certain actions.

Should he be called Angelo Lagusa or Avilio Bruno? I like how the anime doesn't actually focus on him and his screen time doesn't take up half the series. It's well paced and built from different angles giving it a more realistic feel. At some point, it became obvious that Ganzo was the one who sent the letter but I wish we found out more about his intentions because it seemed like it was written off too quickly. The character development was beautiful. Corteo's death was so sad honestly. He was a true brother to Angelo and he really did not deserve that ending. At some point, Angelo probably knew he'd have to sacrifice Corteo but pulling the trigger on him himself was agonizing. The trust between Nero and Avilio was so impaired that it was strong. No matter what, they both respected each other till the end. Barbero's suspicions had been true all along. His personality was the most relatable thanks to my trust issues. At this point, even though there may not be any ill intentions, I cannot stop second guessing people's motives. It may literally be an innocent question but I find myself watching my words and being careful about what information I'm letting on. My lovely family is to thank for most of that.

It does bring about the question "What is family", doesn't it? Nero, Frate, Fio and Vincent all fought for the sake of the family and to save it. But what were they trying to save? Fio's intentions seemed to be the purest but what about the others? Frate and Nero were ready to kill each other to save said family when they were literally breaking exactly that. Isn't it business and the name at some point? I'm a big believer in friends being as important as family or more. So, Vincent's betrayal didn't set well with me. I don't mean to judge or offer any other alternatives. They all tried to do what seemed most logical to them to save or accomplish what was most important to them. In pursuit of their goal, they lost sight of what they had. And if there wasn't any plot, we wouldn't have such a good anime. It makes you introspect though.

"You just live." An offhand comment but it's true. An old anime character (I can't seem to remember which one) said, "I live to find out why I live." Don't write yourself off but the lack of purpose in life can be displaced with the action of living. It's what I want to tell myself.

I won't try to solve the mystery of Angelo's death because the conspiracy theories everywhere. The problem is I don't know what I want. Here you see a boy who has struggled with the guilt of escaping and surviving. He's burdened with the task of living and he's completed his revenge so on one hand, I want his suffering to end but on the othe hand, I want him to live. I want to watch as he starts anew leaving the past and pain behind but with Corteo's death, it seems so idealistic. Although Nero's words seem to give him some relief, it's unlikely that he actually lives. I want him to live but I don't want him to suffer. Such a selfish wish.