#bap angst

1. Shattered Glass - Xiumin - Summary: You had forgiven him too many times and all for the same mistake. You just wondering if you would learn to forgive yourself for putting you through all that heartache. - Warnings: Cheating(repeatedly), heartbreak, one sided love, being led on. - 💜

2. Fools - Juhaknyeon -  Summary: He played you for a fool, but it was too late to take back your feelings now. - Warnings: Player themes, kind of cheating (they were never in a relationship though, so), mentions/implications of sex. - 💜

3. Arrangement - Taehyung -  Summary: You had to marry him to get ahead in life, but there wasn’t much reason that he need you in his. - Warnings: Arranged marriage, one sided love, Taehyung is honestly just a jerk, like he just doesn’t give a fuck about your feelings, cursing. - 💜

4. Broken Promises - Ateez-  Summary: Accidents happen, but when people get hurt because of them it makes it that much harder. Perhaps even to the point where they aren’t sure that they can even forgive. - Warnings: Car accident themes, hospital themes, breakup (can be friendship or romantic not explicitly stated), arguments, crying, cursing. - 💜

5. Too Late Now - WinWin-  Summary: Your actions only seem to prove to Sicheng that you really don’t care about your relationship, and now it’s too late to change that. - Warnings: Arranged marriage, broken hearts. -💜

6. Pawn - Soobin -  Summary: To Soobin you were just another disposable pawn. -  Warnings: Fake friends, manipulation, lies, smoking, cursing. - 💜

7. Trust Issues - Bang Chan-  Summary: Lies are too easy to believe when there’s trust issues involved. - Warnings: Cheating themes, yelling, cursing, exposing of secrets, mentions of health conditions, lies, just in general things blow the fuck up. 💜

8. Broken Things - Mark (NCT)-  Summary: Mark came crawling back after things ended poorly, but you’re not so easily swayed this time around. - Warnings: Mentions of arguments, mentions of a bad breakup. - 💜

9. Shot - Donghun-  Summary: What you did was to protect the man you love, but he didn’t see it that way. - Warnings: Mafia themes, hitman themes, criminal themes, death themes, breakup themes, threats, cursing. - 💜

10. Appearances - Yuta -  Summary: You thought that things were finally changing, that maybe in the end it would all work out. Only he wanted them to work out a different way. - Warnings: Arranged marriage, cheating/infidelity - 💜

11. Steril - Mingyu -  Summary: You’ve never felt so alone in your life, especially not while someone was laying right besides you and now you’re wishing you could take it all back. - Warnings: Hospital themes, car crash themes, mentions of speeding. - 💜

12. Broken Things - Hyunjae -  Summary: You both knew that it was over, but that didn’t mean that part of you didn’t care anymore...only maybe that kind of made it worse. - Warnings: Mutual agreement to break up, but it’s still an emotional breakup, crying. - 💜

13. New Girl - San -  Summary: San had found someone new and they didn’t like the history that the two of you had together. - Warnings:  Friendship breakup, friends with benefits (in the past, mentioned but no actual explicit content), cursing, yelling, gender neutral reader but San has a girlfriend in this who isn’t reader, San’s girlfriend is a manipulative bitch, she’s just kinda toxic honestly. - 💜

14. Paparazzi - Monsta X- Summary: You knew getting caught up with them was going to be an ordeal, still you thought you’d have everything under control...thinking that was your mistake. - Warnings: Secrets revealed, breakup (whether you want to consider it friendship or more is up to reader), problems with press, getting fired, mentions of drinking/being drunk, cursing, crying. - 💜

15. Ruined - Suho -  Summary: Junmyeon blamed you for ruining a part of his life you knew nothing about, and so in turn he wants to ruin yours too. -  Warnings: Mentions of infidelity, gn reader but mentions of Junmyeon being with a woman, arguing, breaking things, screaming, cursing, crying, threats. - 💜

16. Affair - Hongseok - Summary: This is the last thing you would have expected from Hongseok, but now you saw it...right before your very eyes. - Warnings: Cheating themes, it’s gender neutral reader but he cheats with a woman, heartbreak, mentions of nudity, crying, mentions of sex (Hongseok is literally caught cheating, so...). - 💜

17. Regrets - Jeonghan - Summary: Even after breaking up his words still rang in your head and your heart, you couldn’t shake them and yet you couldn’t live with them either. - Warnings: Mentions of breakup, exes, some issues with self-worth/self-doubt, mentions of therapy. - 💜

18. Not What I Wanted - Sejun - Summary: You and Sejun had different ideas of what your future looked like and there was not going to be any changing of that. - Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy ( it's a conversation topic reader is opposed to it right now but doesn't say they would always be), disagreement, argument, cursing, taking a break (they don’t get back together in this piece though, so take that how you want). - 💗

19.  Race For Love -Yeosang - Summary: After years in love you were both tired of this cat and mouse game, the decision had to be made. Would you stay or would you go? - Warnings: Mutual pining (for a long long time), non-breakup breakup (they were never technically a couple so take that as you will. - 💜

20. Empowered - Kai - Summary: You finally built up the courage to walk away from a relationship that should have ended a long time ago. - Warnings: Implied toxic relationship, breakup. - 💜

21. Admit It - Heochan - Summary: To him you were the whole world, to you he was just another mark from the competition. - Warnings: Mafia themes, honey trap themes, kidnapping themes, heartbreak themes, gun themes, blood, betrayal, revenge themes. - 💜

22. My Turn To Break - Hongjoong - Summary: You’d been there to piece him together for so long that it was hard to realize that you were the one who was actually falling apart. - Warnings: Broken relationships (friendships + romantic), crying, heart break. - 💜

23. Love to Hate You - Doyoung - Summary: It was always hot and cold, back and forth, and it was perfect...until it wasn’t. - Warnings: Implied smut, kind of breakup (off and on relationship), it’s a messy situation, cursing. - 💜

24. Secrets - IM - Summary: Secrets were kept and the damage had been done, but maybe with time it could be undone too. - Warnings: Accusations, assumptions of cheating (they’re just assumptions), cursing, reading someone’s diary, taking a break, themes of therapy (nothing wrong with it, just a warning in case it does trigger someone). - 💜

25. Warning Signs -Taeyong - Summary: The warning signs were all there, he just chose to ignore all of them. - Warnings: Implied smut, cheating? (they were taking a “break”), cursing, breakup, crying. - 💜

26. No Choice - Bang Yongguk - Summary: You thought you were finally free, until he showed up at your doorsteps with threats once again. - Warnings: Yandere themes, blackmail, stalking themes, threats, messy breakups, toxic relationship, breaking and entering, cursing, slight mafia themes. - 💜

27. Undoable - Kim Sungjoo - Summary: You had been played like fools only to be ripped apart all to easily, but maybe some thing were unfixable. -  Warnings: Implied smut, drinking, drugged drinks, lies, cheating themes, breakup themes, yelling, cursing, crying, punching. - 💜

28. Scars - U-Kwon - Summary: He just couldn’t let you go, not when he needed you this badly. - Warnings: PTSD(from a kidnapping), mentions of scars, mafia themes, yandere themes, cursing. - 💜

29. In The End - Kim Taeho - Summary: His heart had been broken and that was no minor thing, still it didn’t make what he had to do any easier. - Warnings: Heartbreak, cursing, friendship breakup, some minor gaslighting, crying, toxic relationships. - 💜

30. All An Act - Jinhoo - Summary: You had been together for so long that is was hard to remember why you were together, that didn’t mean it was easy to say goodbye though. - Warnings: Love that faded away, pressure from family, breakup, cursing, drinking. - 💜

The day of the start of Stephanie’s 17 week, she had an appointment to check on the baby. Yongguk took the day off and decided to tag along with her while Junhong took Catherine out on a “day out with Uncle Junhong”.

When they got to the appointment, the doctor went through Stephanie’s background making sure she had no problems or complications which she denied any. She shivered as the gel touched her stomach. Yongguk held her hand prepared to see their growing child on the ultrasound as they had three weeks priors.

The doctor guided the probe around Stephanie’s stomach and stared at the image. The silhouette of the baby showed on screen and the couple smiled. However, the doctor had a grim look on her face which Stephanie saw.

“What’s wrong?”

The doctor looked over at Stephanie with a sympathetic look, “There’s no heartbeat…”

Yongguk’s heart stopped, “What do you mean? Like, they’re asleep?”

The doctor shook her head, “Your child stopped growing a few weeks ago. Possible a little time after our last meeting. I’ll set up getting you a second opinion.”

“So there’s a chance that our baby is alive?” Stephanie’s eyes watered. The doctor shook her head again, “Then why get a second opinion” She snapped. Yongguk tightened his grip on her hand as if to calm her.

“It’s standard procedure Mrs. Bang. We will also have to schedule a D&E….”

Stephanie’s mind blanked as the doctor continued to speak about what to do next. Yongguk listened for the both of them. Stephanie didn’t look away from her stomach as her free hand held onto her baby bump. Her eyes blurred as she thought of the freely moving baby in her just weeks ago. She hiccuped a cry as she caressed her stomach.

The doctor, sensing the break Stephanie was about to have, got up and went to prepare the appointment to let the two have a moment together.

“Baby” Yongguk cringed at the poor choice of words that left his lips. Stephanie shook her head as she smothered her face with her hands and sobbed. “Stephie…” He cooed as he pulled her to his chest. Her hands still pressed to her face as her head fell on his shoulder. “We’re going to be okay… We’ll get through this. I promise you” he whispered a stray tear fell down his face. He was heartbroken about the news, but he knew Stephanie needed him. He sent Junhong a quick text to tell him what happened and to ask him to keep Catherine for the night which Junhong immediately agreed.

It was a month to the day of the D&E surgery and Stephanie still had her moments where she would cry. So, one day, Yongguk decided to have a date night with just the two of them. Something they hadn’t done in a while. Due to the miscarriage, Stephanie began to build a wall away from Yongguk and he refused to let her shove him away.

While out, Yongguk took her hand, but she snatched it away which only upset him. “Why do you keep pushing me away?”

“Why do you stay around?” She snapped. “You act like I didn’t just murder our baby! You’re still here when you should have taken Caty and left.”

Yongguk frowned as he led her to a bench and sat her down. He kneeled in front of her, “You didn’t murder our baby. Miscarriages happen, but we can try again. I’m not leaving you. I love you.”

“What if I don’t want to try again…” Stephanie whispered. “The idea of carrying another child and not having them in my arms again… I can’t handle that kind of pain again, Gukkie… I don’t want to go through this again.” She cried.

Yongguk’s insides felt like they were twisting into each other as he watched his wife break into tears. He reached up and rubbed her arms, “We have Catherine. That’s enough for me. I have my own little family with you and her. You two are all I need.” Stephanie looked at him and he wiped her tears, “Okay?”

“Okay…” He pecked her lips before she threw herself in his arms and hugged him. Yongguk held her close to him. They were going to be okay. He knew that. He just needed to convince his wife of it.

Himchan

Miranda had struggled to get pregnant by her husband, Himchan. It was as if, no matter how many times they tries, the minus sign on the home tests mocked them. Her mother questioned if she could have endometriosis, but Miranda refused to believe that. However, once her doctor confirmed her mother’s suspicions and Miranda was diagnosed with endometriosis. After she had the surgery, the two tried again and instead of the mocking minus signs, there were plus signs and two lines.

Himchan, not waiting to tell anyone, announced it to fans and everyone he knew. He was just so ecstatic that he was going to become a dad. Miranda, however, was cautious of telling everyone. She knew her endometriosis could reappear and cause complications. She didn’t want to get other’s hopes ups… She didn’t want to get her hopes up.

Himchan didn’t realize the fear Miranda held onto until it became real after 3 month into the pregnancy. Miranda and Himchan were in the kitchen preparing dinner together when Miranda felt a sharp pain. Hearing her gasp, Himchan rushed over, “You okay?”

“Yea, it–” She doubled over as another painful cramp hit her. She felt wetness as she gripped Himchan’s arm that kept her from hitting the ground. She let out shaky breaths as Himchan helped her up. As she stood, she felt something slid down her inner leg and she looked to see a red liquid. “Himchan! The baby!”

Himchan looked down at her leg and his face paled seeing the blood. He grabbed a towel and helped her out to the car.

Once seen at the hospital, Miranda’s fears were confirmed. She had a miscarriage. They took her to the back to have the surgery to remove the baby as Himchan sat in the waiting room.

He was distraught to say the least. He sat there and cried as he wondered what happened. Himchan’s mind didn’t stay on the baby for long as he thought of Miranda. How she would feel after the surgery. Would they be able to handle this together or will this be the thing that hurt their relationship? He shook the thought. As if he’d let Miranda go over this. He needed to be there for her.

Miranda shut down. When they returned home, Miranda didn’t speak to Himchan. She tried to avoid him. The guilt was unreal. She knew how much Himchan wanted a child, hell she wanted a child just as much, but after this miscarriage, Miranda’s ideas of being a mother were fleeting.

One day after work, Himchan returned home, “Miranda? Can you come here?” He called her to the living room. He sat on the sofa and waited for her to come down. She made her way into the living room and stood there lifelessly, “Come here.” He patted the cushion beside him. She made her way to the seat, but in a split second, made a quick turn to sit in the chair across the coffee table from him. That’s when Himchan broke, “Do you hate me so much that you don’t want to even be near me?”

For the first time in days, Miranda’s face showed emotion. It showed anguish. “That’s–”

He didn’t let her speak as he kept crying, “Love… Please stop shutting me out…” Himchan wanted to reach for her and hold her. His hand reached out to touch her, but he pulled his hands back to his lap, “I know you think this is your fault, but it’s not. None of this is your fault. We have options if we really want to have kids.” He rambled. “But I don’t care about that right now…” He looked at her, “I just want to comfort you… Please… I just want to hold you.” Miranda broke into sobs, mumbling how sorry she was, and rushed to Himchan’s side. Himchan felt like life had returned to him when Miranda fell into his arms. He pulled her to his body afraid that if he let go she would vanish. “I love you…” He repeated again and again.

Daehyun

After Amber and Daehyun welcomed their first bundle of joy, Kwangmin, the two only looked at expanding their family further. Raising Kwangmin brought them so much joy and by his 2nd birthday, Amber and Daehyun decided to try for a second child. So when they got the double lines on four different tests, they were ecstatic.

Amber was ten weeks when she was at home with Kwangmin and her mother-in-law. They had returned to her home after some shopping. Kwangmin began to cry and Amber picked him up, “Okay sleepy head, let’s get you in bed.” She cooed.

“I’ll do it. You relax” her mother-in-law insisted as she took Kwangmin from her arms.

Amber let out a relieved sigh as she went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. As she took a sip, she felt a pain in her abdomen. She winced as she put the glass down. Amber held her stomach as Daehyun’s mom entered the kitchen.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know… My stomach” she winced again at the pain. Amber brushed it off, “I remember having cramps before when I was pregnant with Kwangmin. I’m just going to lay down.” Her mother-in-law nodded, but she didn’t look too convinced.  

Amber woke up to pains and she shot up in bed. She threw off the covers and screamed as she saw blood. Her mother-in-law ran in and stared in horror before she helped Amber out of the bed and to the car. They headed to the hospital where Amber was told she had a miscarriage and she was sent back into surgery.

Daehyun rushed to the hospital and his mom took Kwangmin to her place as Daehyun waited in the hospital for Amber. Once the surgery was over, the doctors told him that Amber would stay the night and could return home the following day. He stayed in her hospital room the rest of the night.

Daehyun took Amber home the day after the surgery. “You want something to eat, ba–love?” He corrected himself as he helped her into bed.

“No” her voice was barely over a whisper. “I just want to sleep. Where’s Kwangmin?”

“He’s at my mom’s. I thought it’d be better if he stayed there for the night.”

Amber’s eyes burned as she looked back at her stomach, “Oh… I see…” She reclined on the bed and turned her back towards Daehyun as her tears fell.

Daehyun left the room and called his mom to let her know he would pick up Kwangmin. Seeing the sad look in Amber’s eyes, he knew that she wanted her son, so he headed out and picked Kwangmin up from his mom’s place.

Amber woke up to the sound of Kwangmin’s laughs. Her eyes fluttered open as she was bopped in the nose with his fist. “Ow….” She rubbed her nose and let out a weak laugh.

Daehyun let out a chuckle as he held Kwangmin’s hands, “Bud, you’re not supposed to hurt mommy. She’s not feeling well.” He lay down with Kwangmin twisted and struggled out of his arms. He crawled over to Amber’s arms and cuddled beside her.

Amber held Kwangmin close as she repeatedly kissed his head. Her eyes watered as she played with his brown fluffy hair. “I love you…” She whispered as a tear slipped down her cheek. Kwangmin yawned as he pressed his face against her chest and his eyes drifted close.

Daehyun reached over and wiped the stray tear. She looked at him just as he went to peck her lips, “We love you more.” He lay down beside his son and wife. Half his face pressed into the pillow. He reached for her hand and they intertwined their fingers over Kwangmin’s sleeping body. The two of them cuddled around Kwangmin as they took a family nap.

Part II

Credit to gif owners

Written & revamped by Squirrelly831

♕ REQUEST

☮ B.A.P MASTERLIST

Going back to the room you look at the disgusting pedophile and go into his closet and grab the closest tie. Walking back over to his bed you grab both his arms and tie them to the bedpost tightly, you grab his phone charger cord and wrap it around his neck. Not tight enough to wake him up, but enough that it would leave bruises when he starts yanking in it to get free. Nodding your head in satisfaction with what you have done, you head towards the door, walk down the stairs and leave into the night.

“Jesus, what the heck man.” Namjoon exclaims and runs his hand down his face in surprise. You were sitting in his office as he looked through all the documents that you retrieved on your mission. Namjoon was currently clicking through the photos of the children and you grimaced at a particularly suggestive one. “This man is sick, what the hell.” you simply nod, to disgusted to actually reply with words, even though you’ve seen the photos before he had. Even with seeing them before- it didn't make it any less gross and uncomfortable. Having enough of seeing the pictures Namjoon clicks off and turns to you. “Regardless having all this gives us more power over him.” he starts to say, you quickly cut him off. “More power?! I thought once I got this you were sending the others out to kill this f-.” Namjoon throws you look daring me to finish the word.

“Freak, I was going to say freak.” you finish and look down. “After seeing these pictures the mission has changed, killing him won’t help these children.” he sighs. You stand up out of your seat,” Leaving him alive won’t help these kids either!” you shout at him. “ Do you not remember why we are doing this in the first place?! He killed my sister, targeted us first, this is revenge to him and his group!” you continue shouting in Namjoon’s face. He stands up, his face slightly red. “You don’t think I want to kill him? You don’t think I want the same thing you want? Mari was my girlfriend I loved her just as much as you and everyone did. We all want revenge, that's why we planned this. But seeing those pictures of those innocent children, knowing that he has information that could help save them means we have to keep him alive for the time being. Mari would have wanted us to save those children before ever thinking of revenge.” Namjoon states in a completely calm voice. Knowing that when he's this calm means he two seconds away from snapping. Instead of saying anything else you turn around and storm out of his office, opting to stay quiet and leave before you put yourself in a mess with him. 

Slamming the door behind you, you huffed out in anger, not knowing what to do. You understand what he was saying, and he’s right but that doesn’t mean you have to like that. Passing by the living room on your way out the door, you hear your name being called “What’s your rush and the hell were you yelling at Namjoon for?” Rolling your eyes you walk into the living room and see both Jimin and Taehyung sitting there staring at you expectantly. Plopping down on the couch next to Jimin you don’t hesitate and start to punch his arm to release some anger that you pent up from talking to Namjoon. “Hey! Ow ow stop that!” He grabs your hands and shoves you away. Taehyung just snorts at you, “Well what happened, you’re obviously upset about it?” he looks at you. 

“We aren’t killing him, Tae this guy is a sick freak who sexulizes kids. There's so much incriminating crap on those files I got that it makes no sense. Namjoon says that he wants to try to help the kids that are being victimized and the only way to do that is leave that douchebag alive.” you rant feeling the anger seeping back in. Instead of being as angry as you are or even saying something that proves he agrees with you Taehyung just nods his head. Your eyes widened in surprise and you whip your head towards Jimin who just has a thoughtful expression on his face. “I agree with Joon, if he has all those files then obviously he is deeply rooted in this pedofilic business going on. Killing him means we can’t help those kids.” Tae finishes by looking at the ground not even meeting your eyes anymore. Already knowing Jimin is going to agree with him you get up and walk out the door, ignoring their protests.

After jogging around for a couple hours, you finally get home and shower and dress in lazy clothes. Your phone starts ringing after you slip on a T-shirt. The really annoying song that you set as Jimin's ringtone for whenever he called you. We came all the way to Italy to find this guy and shut him down, and considering everyone doesn’t want to kill him makes it seem like you came for nothing. You immediately hit ignore and pocket your phone again, craving a different environment with more people you decide to hit up a club. Not feeling like changing clothes completely you opt for a pair of short shorts with rips and keep on the T-shirt. Grabbing your keys you walk out of the door and start for the hippest club in Sicily. Taehyung and Jimin are always trying to drag you out to this club, they’d probably have a fit if they found out you came alone. Walking right up to the bouncer you tell him your name and stroll right in, chuckling slightly at the irritated faces of the other people who were still waiting in line. Having contacts here and there always paid off in the end. Heading towards the bar the bartender walks over to you, “Hey little girl are you even old enough to be in here?” He looks at you questionably. 

You smile a little and nod in affirmation, “If you must know I’m 21 just at the legal age to come in here my friend.” He nods back. “ Can I have a virgin rum and coke.” you say with a straight face. Instead of giving you a verbal response he simply nods his head again and hands you a bottle of coke, you reach for your wallet and he just shakes his head. “It’s on me.” He turns to attend to other customers at the bar. Opening your drink you take a look around, people grinding on each other to the beat of super loud hip hop music.

Why did I decide to come here again?

Suddenly, I Don’t Disappoint by Jay Park came on when the last song ended, a smile lights up your whole face. You chug down the rest of your coke and jump from your seat at the bar and go out to the dance floor. Not bothering with finding a partner you begin to move your body to the beat, completely forgetting your surroundings you immerse yourself into the song and your little dance. You feel someone's hands touch your waist and you simply ignore them, to into the song to actually care enough about moving them. You feel the other person's body get closer to yours and move with you to the beat. You turn around to tell the person to back off and when you make eye contact it felt like it was just the two of you in the room. You both just stood there staring at each other. Snapping out of it you rip yourself out of the stranger's arms and weave through the crowd of dancing bodies back to the bar. Shaking your head you sit back in a stool and wave your hand at the bartender, “She’ll have a coconut martini.” a deep voice says to the bartender before you could open your mouth.

 Looking back you see it's the same guy from the dance floor that you made eye contact with. “Sorry I don’t drink.” turning away indicating to him you had nothing else to say you look back at the bartender and order another coke. The stranger, instead of leaving, takes the empty seat next to you. “Huh, really you’re sitting at a bar and you don’t drink.” He says this like you amuse him. Turning your body to face him you get a good look at him, he actually wasn’t half bad in the looks department. Actually he was super attractive, he had black hair and he had a swimmers body from what you could see. His eyes were a dark brown and the shirt was wearing had some buttons undone and you could see a tattoo of something on his chest. “Why do my life decisions concern you at all?” you snap back at him. 

Why is this guy taking the things I’m saying as some sort of joke?

You glare at him. He smiles at you and raises his hands as if showing he means no harm. “Hey, I’m just asking seems pretty strange. Not mention I’m obviously interested in you” he smirks and crosses his arms. “Well, I’m obviously not interested in you, nor do I have any desire to humor the fact that you just want to get into my pants.” you say calmly not even looking in his direction.

This guy must think because I look younger than I am I must be naive or something.

With a not so gentle push you left him behind, looking for your actual friends. You found them in the living room, sitting at the big dining table. They smiled at you and greeted you cheerful, Himchan stood up to pull you in a quick hug.

“I'm glad you made it, Y/N! Take a seat, dinner's almost ready.” With this words he disappeared in the kitchen.

Quickly you took a seat between Youngjae and Junhong, so you didn't have to sit next to a certain somebody who just came back in to the living room. You tried to ignore him, but this big fat smile that's plastered on his face made you sick.

Unfortunately it could not always be avoided to meet him, no matter how much you wished for that. The fact that you had mutual friends inevitably meant that you saw each other more often than you would have liked. You really can't tell how everything started, but you knew for sure that you didn't like Jung Daehyun at all. He always was some kind of arrogant and a real cocky asshole to you. But only to you, that's what made it so nasty. You never saw him acting like this when he was with the members or other friends. Maybe it was just mutual dislike at first sight... Or something.

“Move over!” Daehyun said to Youngjae, who was just laughing and instantly moving to the next seat. You sighed again as Daehyun took place next to you. That's what you wanted to prevent, but you should've known he would find a way to annoy you. He always did.

During dinner you had trouble not bursting with anger. All the time he teased you as he knew how easy it was for him to provoke you. He made bad jokes, suggestive comments or just fun of you. But you tried to ignore it while you were talking a lot with Junhong, who made you laugh nearly every time and distracted you from this idiot. But as you felt Daehyun's hand on your leg, it was too much. You pushed it away, jumping up from your chair to give him a deadly eye.

“I'll be right back” you said to the others as you left the room heading towards the bathroom.

You leaned over the sink, looking into the mirror above it, as your fingers clenched on to the ceramic. Your skin was burning and your face was red because of pure anger. So you turned on the tap to cool your face down with some cold water.

How dared he to be that sassy to you. You hated it so much that you almost had slapped him. Why did he always had to be such a cocky asshole? And why the hell did it bother you so much? Normally you just ignored guys like him, but for some reason it wasn't that easy with him.

As you left the bathroom you sighed and suddenly ran into someone. There he was again, smirking at you as he gave you this suggestive look all over again.

“There you are” Daehyun said, biting his lower lip. With this he attracted your full attention and you held your breath while you're looking on his sensual, full lips. If he wasn't such an idiot, they would probably be a big weakness of yours.

He came closer and his body pressed against yours, so you felt the closed bathroom door in your back. You wanted to escape, but your body wasn't moving at all. “G-get away from m-me” you stuttered, not knowing how to react to this closeness.

“Are you sure?” You felt his hand on your waist, while he was still staring at you. “You don't sound very convincing.”

A few seconds there is just silence. You tried to look away, but his gaze just had frozen you. His hand still rested on your waist, no chance to get rid of it.

“You know” he said, his face coming even closer. You felt his lips on your ear, his warm breath tickling it. “You’re cute when you’re angry.” Now his hand is moving down your thigh, stroking over your short pants until he reached your bare skin. “Ugh, these shorts just drive me crazy. You drive me crazy!”

That's enough for you to finally break free and push him away. “You're disgusting!” you yelled, leaving him behind again. You heard him laugh, but you just ran for your life and back to your friends. A shiver ran down your spine while you were trying to understand what just happened. Did he totally gone crazy now?

Later that evening nothing's changed. You tried to spend a nice evening with friends, but Daehyun always found a way to ruin it in some way. At least he tried. While Youngjae seemed to had a lot of fun with that, the rest of them were tired of it. They told him to shut up ad let you be, but that never lasted long. He kept teasing you, made fun of you in front of everyone and he constantly interrupted you.  

At some point Yongguk had enough of it and as he spoke up, everyone was quiet. Even Daehyun.

“Just stop it!” he grumbled, dead-eyeing him. “You guys just clear this or simply shut the fuck up. But you can't go on like this. Both of you!”

“Yeah. Just tell her and stop that shit!” Junhong said cheekily.

You just raised an eyebrow, looking at him. What the hell did he mean? Daehyun reached out for your hand, to pull you up and drag you with him. He pulled you into another room - which seemed to be the second bedroom - and slammed the door shut behind you.

“What the hell?” you yelled, not understanding what was going on. “What is wrong with you?”

“With me? The real question is, what is wrong with you!”

Silently you frowned, not knowing what to answer. You didn't even knew what he was talking about, neither you understood what Junhong just said. What did he mean as he said just tell her?

“You really don't get it?” Daehyun grabbed you by your arms and looked deep into your eyes. He seemed to be overwhelmed and confused at the same time. He starred at you, hoping you would understand without any explanation. He was hoping, he wouldn't have to say it because he was so, so bad at this.

Under his gaze you blushed, not knowing why. “Stop touching me over and over again!” The way he was looking at you drove you insane, but you wouldn't admit it to yourself. So you wiggled in his grip, trying to get rid of him.

Daehyun wanted to show you what he meant, but instead he let go of you. The last thing he wanted, was to do something he would regret later on. And obviously you didn't want to be touched by him, why would you let him try something else?

“And while we're at it: stop being such an asshole! Maybe you think you're the greatest, but that doesn't mean you can behave like that! Stop pretending to be the king, because you're not!”

With this words you left him behind the last time this evening. You had enough so you said goodbye to your friends and left the apartment. The rage was blinding you, so you didn't notice you just weren't any better than him.

A few days later you got visited by Yongguk. You hadn't seen the boys since then, so you were clearly surprised to see him. Within the last days you realized you've gone too far and that you probably should apologize to Daehyun for what you've said to him. But your ego didn't let you. Maybe you were mean, but he still was the same person. Did you really want to ask him for forgiveness?

“Did something happen?” you asked Yongguk, although you could imagine why he paid you a visit.

He was just grinning as he shook his head. “Not really. I was just hoping we could... talk?”

“Sure.”

You led him into your kitchen, making some tea because you already knew this could take a while. He sat at the little table in your kitchen, as you leaned against the kitchen counter.

“So, what's up?”

Yongguk sighed, obviously he wasn't sure where to start. He didn't want to take it too far, but he knew you and Daehyun would never talk to each other, if no one would help you with that. There were things, he couldn't tell you because it was Daehyun's job to do that, but he wanted to give it a try anyway.

“It's about Daehyun” he said and you only nodded. “You guys really need to talk. Things can't go on like this. I know he's kind of, well, let's say extra, but still. He was a mess after you disappeared because he really wanted to talk to you. I don't know what went wrong, but you need to clear this up. Please!”

It took you a while to really get those words through to you, but you nodded again. You already knew you had to talk to him again, but now you had no choice anymore. Yongguk wouldn't accept any other decision.

“It's just...” you started, plopping down on the second chair in your kitchen, “he acts like a total jerk and I just can't handle that anymore. I never really did, but now he's gone too far.”

Now it was Yongguk, who nodded. He could totally understand your point, but that didn't change anything. Things needed to be said and he knew that better than you did. But only because he knew better than you.

“I don't know what happened between the two of you, but that doesn't matter anyway. I only know that you should give him the chance to explain himself.” He smiled cheery, hoping you could do what Daehyun couldn't. Leave your ego behind and just talk about your feelings.

“Can you at least tell me, why he's acting like that? I mean, I know he's different when he's with you. Why can't he just talk to me, as with everybody else?” You needed some answers, but you actually knew that only he could give them to you.

“I think you should ask him. Don't be too harsh with him, okay? Kick his ass if he takes it too far, if not, just stay over it. Be smart.”

After one moment of silence, you burst out laughing and it didn't take long for Yongguk to laugh, too. “So that's what you do when your kids go crazy?”

“Sure. Either that or they're grounded. Depends, I guess” he joked, still laughing.

If felt so good to laugh, it took a while before you got more serious again. “Thank you” you simply said. Now you were a little more confident to face Daehyun. Maybe that's exactly what you needed. Yongguk was right. Thing's couldn't go on like this, something needs to change.

The very next day you found yourself in Daehyun's apartment. Nervous you took a sip of the soda he gave you, to calm down a little. Your heart was beating fast, because you didn't knew what to expect from this conversation. He acted different now and that's what scared you the most. Was he really that mad at you?

“So... you wanted to talk?”

You cleared your throat, silently nodding. Again your confidence was gone and you had no idea how this could happen all over again. Yesterday everything seemed to be so easy, but now it was like a nightmare to you.

“I didn't gave you any chance to explain yourself the other day, -”

“Yes. And that was very rude of you!” he said, interrupting you. He grinned as an apology, but you thought he would mess with you all over again.

“Are you serious?”

He cleared his throat. “I'm sorry. Go ahead.”

You sighed, taking a deep breath to put yourself together again. He almost drove you mad again, but you managed to stay calm. Yongguk asked you to be patient with him, to be smart. And that's exactly what you wanted to be.

“I'm sorry about what I said the other day. I didn't intend to be that mean” you simply said, hoping this was enough for him to forgive you.

Daehyun’s first intention was to reply with a (bad) joke but he swallowed instead, not saying anything. He was impressed by your honesty and courage. After all, he could imagine how hard it must have been for you to come here. But there was this urge to just joke about everything so he wouldn't have to face his real feelings. Because he didn't know how to handle those.

“It's okay. I kinda deserved that.” That was the first time he smiled that day and somehow you had to smile too. It took a load off your mind to see him smile again. That was a good start, wasn't it?

“So.. you can tell me now” you said and you really hoped he would finally do it. You still had no clue, even if it was that obvious. Everyone knew the whole story and nobody needed to say anything.

He swallowed again, trying to get rid of that big lump in his throat that just didn't want to disappear. It was there since you stood in front of him, after he opened the door. Daehyun knew he needed to say something, but it was nearly impossible to do so. It was no secret that you didn't like him and that's why he never said anything to you. At least when it came to his feelings. He probably couldn't handle to get ditched by you.

“Suddenly you care?” His mouth was faster than his brain. Why the hell was he ruining everything again? You were just getting closer, weren't you? He wanted to slap himself so bad!

You rolled your eyes as you put your soda away. Sighing, you stood up and shook your head in disbelief. You tried your best to keep control, but the next second you were mad at him all over again. He didn't seem to bother at all. Maybe he didn't care about any of that and you just made a fool of yourself?

“Why are you doing this?” you asked fainted.

Daehyun didn't know what to say, although he wanted to say so many things, but nothing crossed his lips. The members always said he talked too much, he was too loud or too extrovert. And maybe they were right, he probably was. But when he was with you, everything was different. He just wanted to tell you that, but he couldn't find any words for it.

You sighed once again, because you were truly disappointed. You wanted answers so badly, but it seemed as if you wouldn't get any from him. “I'm just wasting my time here, aren't I? You know what? Just forget it!”

His eyes widened, as he saw you leaving his living room. This time his body listened to him and so he quickly ran after you before you could leave him all over again. He reached for your wrist and held you back so you had to look at him.

"Please! Don't leave," Daehyun said so quietly, he almost whispered it.

Something in his eyes told you to stay, even if your mind was trying to tell you he didn't deserve a second chance. Or third chance, actually. But you couldn't tell what it was as something was totally different now. Daehyun had looked at you in many different ways, but this was new to you. In this second you realized, he wasn't messing with you at all.

“Why can't you just tell me?”

“Because then thing's would change, and I don't want this to happen.”

He sounded desperate, nearly exhausted and you just wanted to pull him in a comforting hug. But you couldn't go any further without him talking to you. You were ready to forgive and forget, but he needed to say something – anything – to clear this up.

“But things need to change, that's why we had to talk in the first place. You remember?” you said with a soft smile on your lips.

You were surprised on how easy it was to talk to him now, since you never really had a normal conversation at all. And you can't even tell why. The first time you saw Daehyun he immediately caught your eye and you remembered that you blushed as he looked at you the first time. But things escalated quickly and everything was kind of awkward. He just wanted to be funny and tough, but you always thought he was a poser. Maybe he wasn't that kind of guy. Maybe he was different then you thought he was.

“I mean, I could tell you and everything would be different. But... you can't tell me you didn't like it when I'm like this. I saw it in your eyes, Y/N.”

Something dangerous sparkled in his eyes and you had real trouble not breaking eye contact. He bit his lower lip and again it caught your full attention as it did at Himchan's the other day. This plush lip resting between his teeth was kind of madness. If you were honest with yourself his lips were your greatest weakness already. Since... ever.

His hand still wrapped around your wrist strengthened and pulled you closer to him. Your heart pounded like mad and you really hoped he wouldn't notice it. It felt like it would jump out of your chest directly against his, while your legs got shaky as hell.

Meanwhile you knew exactly what he was up to, but you didn't want to make it that easy for him. It demanded all self-control, but you managed to free yourself from his grip as you placed your hand on his chest. You stood on tiptoe to approach your face to his. Only a few millimeters separated his lips from yours and you smirked slightly. His eyes widened again and you chuckled, still looking at him.

“Tell me, Dae. Just tell me and everything will change for good. I promise. But I need to hear it, please” you whispered against his lips and you already could tell that he had real trouble to hold on to his own self-control.

“Stop playing” he said breathless and you chuckled again.

“That's what you did all the time.”

Daehyun sighed, turning away from you to run a hand through his hair and to calm down a little. You just drove him crazy, as always, but this time it was him who was speechless and not you. He loved the games you played over the years but only if it was the other way around and he was the one in charge.

As he turned around again, he looked at you some kind of helpless. Why did you do this to him if you already knew he couldn't name it? He knew that you knew, but that didn't make it any easier for him. Quite the opposite.

His mouth opened, but his voice was muted. He turned around again and again, trying to find any kind of words that would replace the three words you were craving for so badly. Maybe it was mean of you to turn the tables, but there was no chance you would say it first. You just realized you liked him more than you thought all the time, but he seemed to accept it for quite a while now.

“It's just, you know, I'm not good at talking about my feelings.” He looked at you again, desperately praying you'd show mercy, but you didn't. “Y/N, why the hell are you doing this to me? You drive me crazy so badly!” Daehyun sighed, he felt like he would explode any second. Why the hell was he such a coward when it came to you?

“I don't know, it was easier for me to play the tough guy, making bad jokes and pretend to be bold. And I saw how much you enjoyed it, even if you'd never admit it to yourself. I liked the game we were playing, but as thing escalated I had no clue what to do. I know you hated me and... -” he stopped, helplessly gasping for air over and over again. “Please, Y/N, do I really have to continue?”

You wanted to end this torture too but he just started talking and you wanted to hear it so badly. Also you felt like he needed to finally talk about it and you knew he'd feel better once everything was said.

“I don't force you” you said sighing, sounding a little disappointed even if you didn't intend to. “If you can't say it, it's okay. I'm sorry for turning the tables, but I was hoping it would do the same to you, as it did to me.” You tried to smile in apology, but his facial expression didn't change.

Daehyun came back to you slowly, reaching out for your hands and when they met, it felt like they were on fire. “Is it enough to tell you I really like you? And that I'm sorry for everything I did? Because I really mean it.”

Smiling brightly you nodded slowly and silently. It was more than you'd hoped for and it made you happy as hell. He returned that smile in relief as he slowly pulled you even closer. He placed his right hand on your cheek, his thumb stroke over it softly as he looked deep into your eyes.

“Can I... kiss you?”

You blushed so much while your heart was racing and you kept eye contact all the time. “Yes” you whispered and the next moment his lips overcame the last distance and met yours.

A thrilling tingle rose in your stomach and spread across your whole body. You didn't know it but your body longed for him so infinitely and now it was finally time to feel and taste him. He kissed you as carefully and gently as he could because he didn't want to risk going only one step too far. His lips tasted so sweet and pure and were much more delightful then you could've ever imagine.

As you two separated, Daehyun's eyes were radiantly sparkling at you. He seemed to be so relieved and happy it made your heart skip a beat over and over again.

“I like you too” you said quietly, blushing all over again.

He chuckled, wrapping his arms around you to pull you close. Your head rested on his chest and for a moment you just closed you eyes, listening to the beat of his heart that was racing just like yours. Softly his hand strokes over your hair as he placed his chin on your head. The two of you just enjoyed the moment.

You pulled away a little, to look up to him. “Now was that so hard?” you asked because you needed to tease him a little.

Daehyun's lips formed into a sweet pout that made your heart jump excitedly and once again his lips had your full attention. The realization that you would feel those lips as often as you wanted now, struck you like lightning and made you infinitely excited and terribly nervous at the same time.

Your lips met for another sweet kiss that could hardly be surpassed in perfection. No matter how difficult and complicated it may have been between you, all that was forgotten with this kiss.

“Are you hungry?” he asked, after he pulled away to get both of you some air.

Like on command your stomach growled and you both had to laugh. The load that had now fallen from your shoulders had made room for a ravenous hunger.

"A little" you said with a smile and Daehyun giggled in amusement.

He took you by your hand to drag you with him, back into the living room. “Let's order some nice food and enjoy this wonderful day together.”