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t ⸱ weilan ⸱ age regression/deaging, alternate hps reveal, casefic ⸱ 27k

Someone has left a child on the front steps of the SID.

read the fic on ao3

what to even say about this fic? this is a fic about coming to terms with your childhood. about the weight a single moment in time can have on your entire life. this is a fic about letting yourself be known, and letting yourself be taken care of. this is a story about being a child around adults who didn't love you, and then an adult around people who do. this is a story, at its core, about our beloved shen wei.

i spent the whole time i was writing this fic hoping it would strike a particular chord for a particular set of readers. if this fic resonates with you, you're one of the people i had in mind as i was writing <3

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t ❀ weilan ❀ dixing culture, protective!zyl, casefic ❀ 18k

Shen Wei senses Zhao Yunlan’s inhale before he hears his sigh, before he feels Zhao Yunlan move, and Shen Wei silently shifts his leg away as Zhao Yunlan stretches forward to pick up another case file. If Zhao Yunlan looks over at him, Shen Wei keeps his gaze trained on the file in his hands and doesn’t see it. “Cause of death records,” Zhao Yunlan says as he flips the case file open, the same way he’d said acid composition notes for the last one, and trident wound autopsies for the one before that. Shen Wei hears him tuck his lollipop into his cheek, the click of it against his teeth. “It’s from ten years ago, I’m surprised it was allowed to lapse. My old man would’ve still been in charge then.” Or: A week after Shen Wei restores Zhao Yunlan's eyesight, the SID uncovers a new lead to an old case.

read to step barefoot into the night | 赤足踏入夜晚 on ao3!

my commentary under the cut :3

Gu Yiran keeps watching him as it all happens, looking for the cracks in Zheng Bei’s behavior, and Gu Yiran keeps finding nothing. If Zheng Bei feels anything other than pure, unadulterated joy, accomplishment, pride, and cheer — if Zheng Bei feels the same disquieting press of passing time against his shoulders that Gu Yiran does, with every bite, with every thank you, with every refilled cup of alcohol, he doesn’t show it at all, not in a way that Gu Yiran can understand, not in a way that Gu Yiran can recognize.   And so Gu Yiran pretends, as best he can, that he doesn’t feel it either. If tonight is the last night that things will be the same, if tonight is the beginning of the end, well — it’s been a long time since Gu Yiran could see an ending coming. It’s been a long time since he’s had the chance to brace himself for it. 

in chapter four: the post-case celebration dinner, and the night after.

Four minutes later, Gu Yiran is leaning against the nurse’s station in his striped hospital pyjamas, waiting for Zheng Bei to pick up the phone. His skin is prickling from the sense-memory of the last time he’d dialed these eleven digits from memory. The phone presses a hard line of plastic against his cheek. When the line connects, Gu Yiran says, quickly, “Zheng Bei, it’s me. I’m fine.” It’s still not fast enough to avoid hearing the stutter of Zheng Bei’s worried breathing over the line, for just a moment before Zheng Bei gets his voice under control and says, “Gu-laoshi, did you need something?” 

Come on,” Zheng Bei says impatiently. “You’re going to be late on your first day back.” But even as he says it, there’s something reluctant about the way he’s standing, the tilt of his shoulders away from the precinct doors. “Late for what,” Gu Yiran presses. “Watching Xiaoguang throw a fit when Guozhu beats his Tetris score again? I’ve heard the play-by-play enough times, there’s nothing to get out of watching it in person.”  Zheng Bei shifts on his feet, and between one breath and another all of his too-telling body language is gone. “It’s important to make a good impression, Gu-laoshi,” Zheng Bei chides in his captain’s voice, “Director Gao’s coming down himself to welcome you back. You really should be on time.” 

in the third chapter: youtiao, group hugs, and certain things coming to an end.

3.4k | T | Weilan | Intimacy, Episode Fic, Shen Wei Character Study

In the silence of his apartment, Shen Wei presses the door shut, turns the lock. And then, like his body was waiting until he was alone, his legs give out. He tips into the wall, sinks down to sitting on his front mat. Closes his eyes. Or, after the kitchen scene, Shen Wei gets a drunk voicemail from Zhao Yunlan.

my fill for @guardianbingo bonus round five: answer.

i wanted to fill some gaps in canon with this fic — primarily, what happens after shen wei walks out of zhao yunlan's apartment in episode 23. i also really wanted to portray zhao yunlan's blindness in a more anchored way than we see in the show, particularly all the small ways that suddenly becoming disabled changes (or doesn't change) the day to day habits of your life. what i didn't expect was for this fic to slowly become a character study of shen wei that revolves around the way he thinks about his own life, tracing through the major moments of his life up until the present. this is a story about knowing someone and being known in return, about the sometimes-voluntary and sometimes-involuntary intimacy of disability, and about the way that time can change what you tell yourself about your own past.